b u f f y ;

That all-too-familiar twist in her stomach jolted her to a stop as she passed through the living room, almost missing the blonde sat on the couch entirely. She backtracked, circling around to get a look at the stranger who had called her by name--and ‘pet.’ Usually that paired with the fact that her Slayer senses were all tingly meant that he had it out for her, but he looked floored not fang-y. Confused herself, Buffy tossed up her hands, ❝ Uh.. yeah! Who the hell’re you? And what are you doing in my house? Did my mother invite you in? Did you hurt her? ❞ She ended her string of inquiries rather venomously, ready to kick in the leg of the coffee table to stake him with should he give her an answer she didn’t like.

She had to have been walking for a few hours before she made it to her house on Revello Drive--it wasn’t earlier than midnight when she stumbled through the back door of the kitchen, ❝ MOM? ❞ Sunnydale was different, she could feel it. The house, however, seemed to be relatively the same aside from the pictures; she didn’t know anyone in them. Way weird. She walked out of the kitchen and through the foyer, calling out again, ❝ Mom! ❞ 

❝ Well, EXCUSE ME, but I don’t usually take advice from vampires. ❞ Buffy realized she had actually relaxed in his presence, even if only a little, up until that point. Her face twisted in disgust--perhaps more with herself than him--and she brought her arms up again, crossing them over her chest defensively, ❝ Okay, don’t ever use the word ‘pert’ in reference to my bod; it’s bizarre. And there isn’t a ‘we.’ You are going tell me what I need to do and then you’re going to get the hell out of here! ❞

    Merrick was probably rolling in his grave over Buffy’s arrogance.     Always the prideful one, she was--sometime reckless, too. Her     frigid demeanor remained unbroken even as she stumbled back     from the blow, stirring sand about as she went; the taste of blood     from her lip only angered her further. From her place among the     broken seashells and damp sand, she swiped her leg under him,     grunting, ❝ That better not bruise, ASSHOLE. ❞

Honestly, I just really need a post-season 5 finale thread where Buffy somehow slips into the Buffyverse and is all confused trying to figure out where her mother is, where Pike is, and why does Sunnydale seem so different? And then she finds her house but it isn't really HER house & everyone is like 'who the f are u' and ???? confusion to the max and then lots of hurt -- because Buffy is Buffy but she isn't Buffy anfkjghlaks I just need it ok s oB

❝ Homja-maleev. ❞ She mocked with a roll of her eyes--her imitation of his accent was probably worse than her initial pronunciation. Buffy made a face as he described the baddies, nose crinkling and mouth twisting into a grimace. She let out a huff of air and unfolded her arms to place her hands on her hips,  ❝ Just when I was thinking life couldn't get worse than history tests and pervy vampires, now there are stinky Mr. Stay Puft demons holing up at the high school. That's just great... ❞  There was a bit of hesitation--Buffy didn't like asking him for help, but was there any other choice? ❝ So, this is a real problem. Do you know how to stop them? ❞

Who in your OTP asks the weird questions in the middle of the night and who hits the other in the face with a pillow

❝ Would you stop yelling? God, I'm pissed off, not deaf! ❞ They were lucky no one heard her scream, but his bellowing about was exactly taking their encounter down to low-key. She crossed her arms, skeptical eyes looking him up and down. Buffy wasn't going to be so easy to buy, ❝ You're trying to help me? I think that's pretty fresh for you--a little too fresh, ❞ She drew in a deep breath, her features softening only a little when she asked, perhaps slightly confused, ❝ What's a Homeju-molly Demon? ❞ 

Buffy used the opportunity of the door opening to wrap the towel around her fully, securing it with a twist. As soon as Spike landed, she planted a foot over the hand guarding his chest and proceeded to press her weight down, ❝ No shower, no amount of soap or holy water could change the fact that you are majorly gross and I am majorly uninterested in your baggage. Do you actually have a reason for being here outside of being a creep with a death wish? ❞

be unapologetically sexual.

❝ Seriously? Is that what you do with your creepy, vampire stalking skills? Spy on naked girls? You are disgusting. Like, legit just gross! ❞ Buffy gave his foot a good stomp to punctuate before grabbing the nearest towel to cover up with--he was lucky she was too embarrassed to think to throw something at him through the door, ❝ This isn't funny. If you aren't out of here in two seconds, I swear to God, I'm going to stake you with a toilet plunger. ❞

    ❝ How chivalrous--are you gonna lay down, roll over? 'Cause you     might as well, ❞ One vampire is a lot easier to kill than ten. There was     no denying that he was right; she was at the disadvantage. Buffy would     probably have little problem taking him alone -- she would like to think      -- but with his metalhead groupies, the odds weren't exactly in her favor,     still, she persisted, ❝ You're dust, okay? ❞