Parenthood sentence starters
Various prompts about parenthood from infancy to school age that use gender neutral terms. Feel free to adjust as necessary
"How are we running out of nappies/diapers again? I swear I just got another pack yesterday."
"Oh, it stinks. I think they need a nappy/diaper change."
"I can't believe how tiny they are."
"Is spitting up so much normal?"
"At this point I don't know where I end and the baby stuff begins."
"How can they have such an iron grip on my hair?"
"I don't know how long I've slept in the last two weeks. I just know that I've had some and that babies cry a lot."
"Well, that wipe warmer is useless."
"Oh, they spit up on me!"
"Why do babies need so many things?"
"I finally got them to sleep. It's just us now."
"Do you want to hold them?"
"Shhh I just got them settled!"
"They grow up so quickly."
"I think it might be time to start weaning."
"Sounds like they're awake."
"I've got no idea what some of this stuff on the high chair is and at this point I'm too afraid to ask."
"No, I'll get them. I think it's my turn anyway."
"I think there are toys in crevices of the house I didn't even know existed."
"I think they're overtired."
"Have you seen their blankie? I can't find it anywhere."
"I knew them taking a late nap would be a mistake."
"How have they grown out of all of their clothes already?"
"I know it's weird but it's the only thing that'll get them to sleep."
"It's your turn for bath time."
"Don't worry, they'll settle down in a minute."
"I think they're teething."
"They weren't over there a minute ago."
"Did they just say what I think they said?"
"That can NOT be their first word!"
"I'm pretty sure I got splashed so much that my bath was better than theirs."
"Let's go to the playground."
"If I get asked why one more time today, I think I might lose it."
"They asked if we could get a pet rabbit. Don't worry, I talked them out of it."
"We're going to have to replace their emotional support bowl."
"They're upset because I made them the food they asked for but I didn't make it fast enough, and now they refuse to eat it."
"Let's just say they took every muddy puddle as a challenge."
"They wet the bed. Don't worry, I'm handling it."
"I've checked everywhere for monsters. Twice. It's still not safe apparently."
"Do you think it's an imaginary friend or a ghost they're talking to?"
"Oh it was just a nightmare. It's all good now."
"We need to get more story books. I don't think I can ever read The Gruffalo again."
"You want to know how I stop them from drawing on the walls? Paper and crayons everywhere. Everywhere."
"I'm this close to giving them an iPad and calling it a day."
"Well, at least we escaped a tantrum."
"Has the mess multiplied somehow?"
"Why is it alarmingly quiet out there? What do you think they're up to?"
"I can't believe they'll be starting school so soon."
"We're going to have to get them a new uniform again."
"I don't know if this drawing deserves to be on the wall, on the fridge, or in the bin."
"When did homework get so complicated?"
"I think they have lice."
"That was the school. I have to go pick them up."
"Well, that parents evening was interesting."
"How is there another school fundraiser?"
"This school trip looks pretty cool."
"How many activities do you think we can afford for them to go to?"
"Well, they're grounded."
"These packed lunch requirements are getting out of hand."
"Why am I more nervous about their grades than they are?"
"Their school report looks great."