Favorite Things

I just feel so fucking lost. I don't know what I want to do with my life. I'm so stressed about college, my grandmother who's on her deathbed, three little kittens who I had to give up to a shelter who probably euthanized my babies, the fact that I feel so many people are judging my every move, the lack of friends I seem to have, and the fact I don't have anyone who wants to listen to me so I can just get everything out. Why is being an adult, no just life so goddamn hard?

The person who falls in love with me better appreciate and understand my love for reading. It's my number one passion (unless something new comes along, verely). I've been told that my facial expressions while reading are rather something to watch. I remember when I was younger, I was reading a book in the same room as my mum. Now I had no clue that my face expressed my feelings for the words so clear. My mum asked what was so funny when I was frowning just a minute ago. I looked up at her confused on how she knew I found something funny. I hadn't recalled laughing. You know those times that you are just so wrapped up in the book you don't realize what happens in the real world. Yeah this was one of those times. My mum told me that my facial expressions were priceless in the good way because it showed just how much I loved the book. Now I can't remember the exact book because I have read so many between now and then loving them all differently. But if the person I love and claims to love me back cannot appreciate this, then I don't think they understand the true meaning of love.