I started re-reading MTMTE, because there’s a lot I feel I’ve forgotten or missed that I’d like to call back to. And now that I’ve reached the Delphi arc, as I’m reading through this a few things have struck me:
- If someone got the impression that Drift and Ratchet hated one another, they should really re-read this arc and pay close attention to the body language.
- Remember: Drift joined the Autobots two years ago. Before he did this, he was a freelance bounty hunter, and before that, a member of the Decepticon Conclave, and before that, again a bounty hunter. He’s led a hard life. He’s, at the core, a harsh person.
Ratchet makes the stop on Delphi on his own initiative. It wasn’t passed by the high command really - the person he talks to about it is Swerve, of all people. Which makes it unlikely Drift was assigned to accompany Ratchet; either Ratchet asked him to join, or Drift did so of his own initiative out of interest for Ratchet’s safety (which is probably what happened, considering it’s a constant recurring theme in the comic).
They touch down, and then there’s this exchange:
Is it harsh? Is it needling? Perhaps.
But Drift has led a harsh life. He’s been an Autobot for a mere two years, and genuinely doesn’t know how to conduct himself around them, crafting one identity after another to try to find something palpable to the people around him so that he doesn’t scare them. Because Deadlock was terrifying.
This sort of banter? This sort of bluntness? This is Drift’s natural language. Drift knows how to conduct himself honestly in this sort of dynamic. He’s more comfortable in it - he speaks his mind (and we see, later, in the Annual, the difference between banter and Drift’s reaction when it becomes real.)
So it’s with this bluntness and sarcasm that Ratchet’s speaking to him with, but it doesn’t change the core of what Ratchet is actually doing here: checking in with Drift. Are you scared/are you going to be okay.
I’ve thought about this a lot, of whether or not Drift is scared of the DJD. And I don’t think he isn’t scared per-say; rather, Drift’s been with the Decepticons for a long time. He was part of the Conclave. He knows exactly what the DJD is capable of, and probably has, in some way or another, come to terms that that’ll likely be the way he’ll die eventually. He knows he’s living on borrowed time. And he knows himself well enough that when the DJD comes for him, it won’t be a pathetic or hopeless death. He’s Deadlock. He’ll be taking one or two of them down with him. At the same time, he’s got some vague, temporary immunity - objectively, he should be at the top of the DJD’s list, but he isn’t, because Megatron made it that way. Even though the war is over now - even though Megatron surrendered and is being held, awaiting trial - Drift’s still probably subconsciously relying on the vague safety net that provides and the extra time it buys him.
But that’s when Drift is able-bodied. When he catches the rust plague, all of the sudden his tune changes dramatically.
The firs thing he does - the very first thing - he does is apologize. Which seems strange, because why apologize because you’re sick? Given their history though…
Drift’s mind is back in his memories of Rodion, in his memories of Ratchet. That apology? That was for everything. For all of it.
Ratchet’s words are harsh, but banter is the go-to vehicle for levity in their relationship - much needed levity, because their history is old, it’s complicated, it’s heavy, and it’s deeply, uncomfortably personal. In this moment, Drift’s dropped that. He’s dying, and his thoughts have immediately turned to Ratchet, to what they, in some strange way neither of them will confront directly because it says too much, have survived through together and often because of one another. Ratchet’s not meeting the honesty Drift is showing, yet, because he doesn’t want to acknowledge the reality of the situation. Drift isn’t going to die, not in his book. And this doesn’t come from a place of arrogance on Ratchet’s part; since Issue 1, Ratchet himself has been repeatedly acknowledging his failing hands, how he can no longer pull off the miracles he used to. He’s morose about it, he’s extremely self-aware about it. It’s both depressed and humbled him. And despite this Ratchet is determined that Drift, specifically Drift, out of the other infected now-twenty-one patients in Delphi, isn’t going to die from this.
But Ratchet’s words are offset by his body language. He’s at Drift’s side, clasping Drift’s hand with both of his own, those legendary hands that have begun to fail, something he’s acknowledged up until this very moment, because he’s going to fix this. Drift isn’t going to die, not in Ratchet’s book. Drift says, specifically, Ratchet was trying to desperately save Drift’s life back then. Ratchet is still trying to do that same thing.
Drift has been shown to be touch adverse in the comic - he rarely touches anyone, and shies away from touch.
He’s outright leaning away from Rewind here. Rewind. Probably one of the least-threatening bots on the entire ship, physically.
And yet, despite being shown to be touch-adverse, Drift has reached for Ratchet’s hand, when he’s on the floor. And yet he’s comfortable with Ratchet lifting him. He reaches for Ratchet’s hand again, and Ratchet takes it. For all people somehow felt these two legitimately disliked each other reading through this arc, their body language makes it clear this is absolutely not the case.
Drift, in full health, might not be terrified of the DJD the way most ‘cons are. But he’s dying of a plague, and he knows that if the DJD shows up, he won’t be going down with a fight - it’ll be a terrible, terrible death. He’s scared. So he asks this of Ratchet, because he trusts Ratchet. Ratchet’s response?
Don’t you dare ask me to do this.
Because with the context of their dynamic of mutual care that extended throughout the entire war apparently? That they very well might be the reason why one another, somehow, made it through alive when so many other people died? Ratchet doesn’t want to hear it. The war is over. They didn’t make it this far just for Drift to die now.
Also, both from talking with friends with experience in the medical field and from my experience of repeatedly being hospitalized, this is not professional bedside manner whatsoever. Not even close. This is extremely personal. This is the sort of body language, the sort of words, you expect from a friend or a loved one. This is someone in denial, who is personally and emotionally invested, and he’s unable to distance himself from it.
So Ratchet tells Drift to stuff it - he’s not going to kill Drift. He’s not going to let Drift die. And when Drift is settled, Ratchet goes after Pharma, gives him an impressive punch to the jaw, gets shot in the chest, and still follows Pharma up to the roof, where this exchange happens:
I’m miles away from anyone I truly care about - I’ve got nothing left to lose.
Except, that’s not true, is it? Because we just saw, up-close, Ratchet outright denying even the possibility of losing Drift, to both Drift and to himself. He doesn’t want to consider that happening, nor the implications. Ratchet’s not lying to Pharma, here; he’s lying to himself. Because Drift very well could die. And all things considered, Ratchet shouldn’t care so much about Drift. Drift’s been an Autobot for a mere two years, at this point. Drift was Deadlock. Deadlock killed so, so many people. Deadlock was part of the Conclave. Deadlock was an enemy. So no, he shouldn’t care so much about Drift.
But he does. He does care, because it isn’t and never has been that simple between the two of them. He does still have something left to lose, and he is very, very close to losing it.
He’s not alone feeling that way. Drift, who is bleeding out, who is falling apart, who is dying, who couldn’t even walk just moments before, who was clinging to Ratchet, who had asked Ratchet to kill him if the DJD showed up because he couldn’t fight, somehow managed to summon the strength to climb down one ladder and up another very long ladder all the way to the roof, leap forward, and save Ratchet. He managed to stay conscious long enough to do that, only to do that, before immediately passing out.
Because just as much as Ratchet was determined Drift wouldn’t die, Drift was determined Ratchet wouldn’t. He’s always been determined. When Pipes became infected, Drift’s instinct was to protect Ratchet.
In our Lost Light, Drift immediately sought Ratchet out when Overlord broke free. In the duplicate Lost Light, he sought Ratchet out when the DJD were on board and died by his side.
Drift and Ratchet have a very, very complicated history that colors all of their interactions. It’s deeply personal, and at times it’s an open wound that leaves them very capable of hurting one another unintentionally. Even despite that, they are extremely determined to protect one another. Despite that, they continue to try to work through it, because the problem is and always has been that they cared too much about one another, even on the opposite sides of a war.
pixelskylines
jacobvanloon
turnnoffyourmind
blakekathryn
theartofmadeline
kianamaiart
