i am titanium

I am the cutest part of the region, no argument there. You guys got robbed?! Are Mama and Papa Lynn okay? I don’t even want to know what’s going on with your dumb brother. How does that guy even get girls? He’s literally just a tall white guy and he gets, like, complete goddesses without trying. You know it. I suspect it’s ‘cause they hate fun.

They’re okay -- well, except for feeling really horrible for letting someone else’s Pokemon get stolen. They were thinking about closing the daycare after that but they changed their mind, thank goodness. If it makes you feel better, he said he thinks the girl he’s traveling with secretly hates him! Am I super mean for laughing about that? I’m not, right? Nobody’s as fun as you, anyway. They’re probably all just jealous.

No offense to Stella but is there even anything in Pacifidlog? I thought it was just a bunch of shanties.

Well... there are sort of a lot of those. But the water’s really pretty, and there’s a Corsola colony. Aren’t they just the cutest? I wish I had one.

I’m pretty sure I’d get swarmed, not looking to cause a mutiny my first week in a new region. As nice as Nurse Joy does seem.

I guess I can’t blame them, since you are super awesome. Do you want a police escort? I’d be happy to guard you from any crazy fans. Or I could just help you find a disguise, too.

The Hotel Richissime here in Mauville has lost my reservation. I can’t believe this. Where do they expect me to stay? This would have never happened in Lumiose!

Have you thought about staying in the Pokemon Center? It’s much cheaper and Nurse Joy is so friendly. She’d be totally accommodating, especially if the Richissime people aren’t going to be. 

When you’re really overwhelmed with all the places your dad wouldn’t let you go before and your best friend just wants to catch cute Pokemon for contests, how are you supposed to decide where to go next? Should I just close my eyes and pick a place on the map?

Am I allowed to give recommendations? Because if I am, then Pacifidlog! Anywhere where Stella lives has to be the coolest.

That part isn’t my business, but just trust me. Little Miss Crime Fighter isn’t as possible as she lets on. Churchill is her ex-girlfriend who she hid from all of us and then dumped to “focus on her career”. She used to be our tech teacher at trainer school. What have you done to break the law? I absolutely do not litter. Ever. Not by accident, not even a little. And I prefer rollerblading to biking, but that is a really stupid law. I like to think not, but I’m also not exactly opposed to bending the rules if they’re stupid and hurting good people.

Oh... Well, being a police officer is super important, maybe she was just afraid of her getting hurt? I would never let anything stop me from true love, though, maybe I could teach Jules to open her heart more. Oh, who am I kidding -- I’m just a lowly junior officer, I can’t teach the greats stuff! I stole a piece of candy from a store once when I was six. I didn’t know that my mommy always bought it for me, I just knew that we went in together and it ended up in my hands so I took one and walked out with it. I cried so hard when I got caught, I didn’t let myself leave my room for a week. 

I’ve only ever heard of one spa and that’s on Knot Island? I guess there could be one on Cinnabar, or could have been before the explosion. But I never spent any time there. Is there a giggle limit on the police force now? That seems kind of needlessly strict. That’s a good skill to have, everyone needs a good cop for good cop, bad cop, right?

That’s in the Sevii Islands, right? I had to study a map of all the regions that they might place us in -- I wonder if I learned the Hoenn map better and that’s why the police force sent me here. But it’s so easy to remember where things are, they’re all separated by so much water. I don’t think there’s an official limit, they’ve never threatened me with a ticket for too much giggling or anything but I’m worried people don’t think I’m serious enough. I can be super serious, do you want to see my serious face?

Oh, I’m far from the only one. I’m sure those police babies who can’t think for themselves worship her though. Jules was always good at finding people to devote themselves completely to her. Like freaking Churchill. You think I broke the law? Listen, just because I don’t like Jules doesn’t make me a criminal. It just makes me able to see through a lot of bullshit.

Really? Who else doesn’t like her? It’s like my whole world just changed, everyone at the police academy thought she was great. Is Churchill a Pokemon? No, no -- well, probably! Everybody’s broken the law before, even me. But if you did I bet it was something like accidentally littering or riding a bike on a sidewalk; you don’t seem like a mean person who would do bad stuff on purpose.

You’re cute, kid. Who’s your partner? I guess you’ve got a couple of years on you to get a little rebellion in you. Have you ever broken the rules, Melanie?

Her name’s Jules Goldstein, she’s the best mentor ever! She’s not on this cruise right now, I’m working with someone else temporarily while she took a totally deserved vacation. Totally! I used to sneak second dessert after my parents went to bed all the time, and I’d play pranks on my brother Ryder even though they told us to be nice to each other.