𝕠𝕟𝕖 𝕞𝕠𝕣𝕖 𝕗𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥

his questions took a grip on her heart, squeezing it to an extent where the pain was unbearable. she knew he’d probably hate her, he’d judge her, he’d run away but the words kept playing on repeat. kept begging her to let them out and when she opened her mouth, a waterfall of tears fell running down her clean features. “it did.” she sobbed out, gasping for air. she hated herself whenever she cried. it could never be a charming, heart-wrenching cry. it was always an explosion– a lightning show of sadness and grief and her own coping mechanism of hiding away her emotions and bottling up the ones that made her stay awake for a whole night were to blame. “and i did nothing.. i couldn’t do anything! i couldn’t bring her back and make her look at me.. to tell her i forgive her. that i loved her. that i’m sorry.” she was in a trance, rambling on and on, but she couldn’t help it. he opened a door and there were demons hidden behind it, waiting to be set free. “and i keep on doing the same fucking mistake with everyone. i never have the balls to say what i feel.. while i have the chance.” another patch of tears kept bubbling out of her eyes, caramel orbs now sparkling with sorrow and hurt. “and i’m sorry, caspian.. god, i’m so fucking sorry,” she tilted her head backward as to grasp some more air. “i’m sorry i never told you how i feel, how important you are to me.. that i never let you in.” she nodded to her own words, cheeks, and nose red from the emotions that just exploded for the whole world to see while she was starting to calm down. her guards were down and the walls were broken laying shattered on the ground. only the dust from the fallen bricks now lingering over her confused soul, leaving it wondering ‘what do we do now?’. her eyes pierced his, demanding words.. actions.. anything. the calmness after the storm, the silence that followed her outburst caused her to swallow down what seemed to be a ball that kept her from breathing properly to this very moment. her gaze moved away from him with a shaky sigh, shifting from one wall to another– she couldn’t let herself look at him right now, not when his reaction was still unknown. 

she felt her breath get shacky with every second his voice echoed off the walls around them. hot streams of water traveled down her face and she couldn’t help but chuckle at her own inability to hold it in anymore. the anger, the sadness, the pure frustration from the whole situation. with a nod, she let her hand brush off the tears. “i never really thought it would matter.. but it was stupid of me to think like that, really.” she admitted, there was nothing to hide at this point. every little demon and voice was quiet and out of breath, watching georgina finally take the lead of her actions. she moved to take a tissue from the vanity to clean up the smudged mascara from underneath her eyes, not even caring how messed up she might’ve looked. “i never thought you’d care.” she shrugged. “and i guess i didn’t see it as goodbye but.. i don’t know.” she sighed out, and limped towards the chair in front of the vanity to sit on it. she wanted to keep her distance, despite the need to touch him- to let them make it up the only way they knew how. but somehow, now.. she wanted to talk. she had to say these things. and to hell with her pride, it was already done with the moment she let her tears fall in front of him. “i’ve disappeared like that before.. it never crossed my mind that people would even notice.. let alone care.” she spoke and her voice was soft, gentle if you might say, as she wanted him to listen. “i’m sorry.. that i hurt you-- and that i might’ve planted the wrong idea in your head by disappearing like that. it was never my intention to do so, i can promise you that. i just needed to escape.. from ava, from the memories from..” her voice cracked, not letting her finish the sentence as her eyes filled with tears once again, the painful flashback making her lose all consciousness for a moment as she just stared at the floor.

georgie only challenged her whole attention toward her foot at the moment, ignoring caspian all together. “whatever.” was the only thing she hissed out while her gaze was busy observing her swollen foot, which toes she desperately tried to curl in and out, that made little hisses in pain escape through her teeth. hearing caspian trying to open the door only made her roll her eyes. of course he’d try to open it up himself. taking off the other shoe, the blonde got up, limping through the trailer to look for a piece of fabric to tight her foot with. even though she was pretty tall without high heels on, she acknowledged the fact that caspian was taller now that she hopped out of her louboutins, which only made a little smirk appear before she hid it away when he turned to her. “please do.” she groaned out and moved to sit on the floor when she found a t-shirt laying there. tearing it apart to turn it into a long piece of fabric she put her first-aid lessons to the test when she started tightening her swollen foot into the fabric. “i’ll buy you a new one.” she said calmly while tying the shirt, “and as soon as we get out of here,” she continued talking. now admiring what a great job she did she stood up and turn to look at the boy “we will never see each other again.” she said, a little polite smile on her face even though her eyes were saddened. she was tired. of the pointless fights and the constant one-upping. she was sorry, she wanted to make it better, to let herself be the girl she wanted to be for him.. but he didn’t want to listen. so she just stayed there, before him, staring into his eyes- for the first time she didn’t want to fight. she didn’t want to scream. she didn’t want him to be sorry. she wanted him to say it will be okay, that they will work it out but the realization of her lucid dreams hit her when her eyes glazed up with tears, making her head bow. she was not supposed to show weakness. not here. not now.

Scarlett couldn’t help but laugh at his protest, in her eyes she has always seen Caspian as this little mischevious puppy instead of the little fucker persona everyone seems to see him as. “Maybe that’s the point?” Scarlett mused with a cock of the head, amber colored curls bouncing off her shoulder. “Caspian.. no.” her smile was faint and tone laced with a certain softness. “Next time I leave town I’ll make sure to kidnap you so you don’t stoop so low a second time.” not like she has any plans of leaving any time soon, apart from that little trip she has been invited to next week in Miami, one she is sure all her friends will be attending as well. “Clearly.” Scarlett hummed. “Thank god because if I fail to understand the plot yet another time I may just throw the tv out of the window.” Scarlett exaggerated, she is baffled on how that show got 9 seasons when she couldn’t even get past the fifth episode. “So apart from missing me dreadfully what else have I missed?”

caspian had been expecting her to gently reprimand him for having put his trust in his publicist, yet a pout appeared on his face regardless. “honestly you could just, like, stuff me in your suitcase and i’d be perfectly happy as long as i had some celery to chew on.” as if the celery had been the most concerning part of his sentence, he quickly clarified, “i’m on a cleanse.” leaning his head down on the table, he crumpled his nose at the mere thought of lost before shaking his head at her idea.  “i did that once. they made me pay a fine.” clearly he hadn’t picked up on the joking tone of her voice. “i mean... you haven’t missed much really.” he shifted uncomfortably on his feet. it was an obvious lie. to not have missed a single thing while being gone from the upper east side would have been a miracle; but how was he supposed to reveal everything that had happened while she was gone? that he’d almost found himself in a relationship for the first time in what seemed like forever, only for it to end. then pick up. then end again with georgina’s own disappearance. since it had remained over, it was almost as if scarlett hadn’t missed anything to begin with. “oh! i got cast to be in an off-broadway production of  hamlet!” he offered instead with a wide smile. 

she couldn’t help the giggle that escaped her lips when he actually took out his phone and quickly typed in something. “i’m so impressed cas, you really know the way to my heart.” she smiled before taking a sip of her coffee as he thought over her proposal of calling him every day for these compliments. “little notes huh? i think that is the cutest idea, it’d be something to look forward to,” she gushed even though she heard his doubts and nodded. “i believe you, i mean–you wouldn’t be able to sleep at night without complimenting me right? it’s part of a healthy routine after all,” she teased before giving him another bright smile, thankful that things between them were well on their way at being completely normal once again.

“i even put a little sunshine emoji next to it, look,” he quipped with a wide smile, reaching his arm out to show jinhee the screen as he looked adoringly at the text. “now i just need a catchy light-themed ringtone to boot and we’re good to go.” lowering his phone after he’d made sure she’d seen, he let out another light hum at her enthusiasm for the notes. “i mean... i can work it out. maybe they wouldn’t be every day, though. and of course?” cocking his head as if she’d just made a wild insinuation about his routine, caspian bit back another smile. “you don’t think i haven’t already scheduled complimenting you for right after my extensive night-time skincare routine?” 

       “well aren’t you charming.” clementine laughed as she scrunched up her nose. “care for a piece that wasn’t thrown at your nose?” she offered waving a hand towards the pack of candy that sat beside her. “this candy is from one of the finest establishments in the upper east side mind you, so it is pretty great.” the girl said with a wink. mostly joking she had simply stolen the licorice from the dressing rooms from chez germaine. a fine establishment indeed.

“so i’ve been told once or twice,” caspian grinned, making his way over to the wall where she was sat to accept her offer. offering her a thank you as he glanced at the packet, he raised a brow at her comment. “yeah? huh. must be pretty special then, honestly, now i’m kinda flattered you offered me a piece.” 

feeling her toes practically pulse in pain, georgina only managed to squeal once more when she tried to curl them, shaking her head slowly at his question. of course, she wasn’t okay. but was she about to ask for help? of course not. even if her foot was broken, there’s no way she’d ask caspian for help. not now. “i’m fine.” she let out softly, an obvious lie, as her face was slowly turning red from the attempt to hold in the screams in pain. “will you mind if i just?” she started and tried her best to turn on her left leg to limp her way to the little sofa where he sat down, to take off the dangerously high louboutin off her right leg, to only let out a groan of relief. “if i broke my toes, i’m gonna die.” taking deep breathes, she was actually scared right now. even though she dramatized a fair amount, breaking anything related to her motor skills meant months of missed catwalks, photoshoots and important events which she couldn’t let happen. the thought alone made her lean into the seat and stretch her leg forward, as her hand covered her eyes. “i hate you so much.” she cried out.

to say she expected him to kick her out like nothing was understandable, though, when he instead started talking she couldn’t help but raise her eyebrows. to his words, her eyebrows furrowed down as quick as they shot up, she licked her lips. who did he think he is? “excuse me?” she dragged out. “first of all– how in hell am i supposed to say goodbye when i didn’t even plan the leave?” she’s had enough of apologizing already and this whole situation made her blood boil with anger and his criticism over her acting skills didn’t help a lot either. “oh, shut up.” she growled out. “you know what?— i don’t have to apologize anymore, this was a mistake and you can go fuck yourself.” she rolled her eyes and turned on her heel to get her dramatic exit, though when she pushed the handle, the door didin’t seem to open. blinking a couple times, she tried again.. and another try this time harder. a scoff got out of her when she turned her shoulder to harshly knock it into the door, in a poor attempt to open it. “are you fucking kidding me?” she yelled out in frustration now kicking the door, to only let out a squeal in pain afterwards now regretting kicking the metal door in the first place when she lifts up her right leg, eyes shut tight as her toes were screaming in pain and her hands moved up to press into the door, supporting her frame. 

Scarlett couldn’t help but beam the moment his voice reached her ear canals, she knew exactly whose tone this belonged too and she couldn’t be any happier. Caspian was one of the people she missed most upon her little escape from reality. “You are more than good enough, actually perhaps a little too good.” the corner of her curled into a cloyingly sweet smile before getting up from her seat pulling him into her embrace for a quick second “I missed you.” the words slipped past her lips into a sweet whisper as she sat back against the cool metal chair, crossing her legs one over the other as she listed to him whine. She couldn’t hide the smile the grew as he talked. “You poor thing.” Scarlett hummed, ruffling his ivory locks. “But tell me, who took over for me during my absence, they must have done an abominable job from the sounds of it.” Scarlett mused, rushing her chin on the palm of her hand as she leaned closer. “How dare they, what has Babe ever done to them?” Scarlett teased, muffling a laugh. “Well I’m back and we can do a back to the future marathon or binge watch all 11 seasons of lost.” she blurted off the top of her head. “Maybe the 7th time is the time I finally start to understand the plot of the show,” Scarlett added, ironically enough. “You? Annoying? Never.” her lips parted open into an overexaggerated gap over her remark.

“stop,” caspian whined, the smile on his face betraying his words. he’d missed the warmth that seemed to radiate off scarlett, not just from her compliments, but from her general presence. “you’re gonna make me blush.” as she pulled him into the brief embrace, he rubbed her back, mumbling “i missed you too,” into her shoulder with a warm smile that wouldn’t remove itself from his face. grumbling at the mention of his hair, caspian scratched awkwardly at the back of his neck, a grimace appearing on his face as if readying himself to be told off. “well, you see... i might have paid my publicist to ruffle it for me.” his nose crinkled at even mentioning it, drawing the memory of his hair being tugged at the roots right out of him, as he took the chair opposite hers. “i know it wasn’t a good idea now, but i don’t know.” what other way was there to say that he was needy? “well, clearly they’re just upset that babe got to go on that wild trip to venice in the sequel,” he pointed out. “but i’m happy you’re back and i’m totally down to do a back to the future marathon as i think lost will be... well, lost on me.” 

       seated on the stone wall that surrounded chez germaine with a half gone pack of licorice placed beside her clementine groaned down at her phone. her annoyance distracting her from the harsh february chill despite her only being in a hoodie and jeans. “i swear to god if this shipment doesn’t get in on time i’m literally going to flip my shit.” she fumed aggressively biting a piece of the candy and ripping it away from her mouth. in fact she tore it so hard that it flew from her hand and hit a passerby. “ oh fuck i am so sorry.”

making his way in the direction of his house after having done run-throughs of a script for most of the afternoon, caspian was looking forward to getting back home. however, he was quickly halted in his tracks by the feeling of something hitting his nose. looking down at the ground only to see the piece of liquorice, he glanced over at the woman sitting on the wall just as she began to speak. “all good,” he shrugged, “not everyday i get hit with sweet things by someone equally sweet.”

Dakota: You have a run who your agent is through other people? Weird but okay. Dakota: Yeah just let me know.

and scene. with that, georgie brushed the faux tears off of her face that were needed for the last scene they filmed on the show. who would’ve thought she’d feel so much at home at a place that was so far away from her comfort zone? when she was done hugging and giving the usual ‘i’ll miss you’ and ‘we’ll keep in touch’ with the cast and crew she couldn’t help but notice that a special someone has left the premises early before even casting a glare in her direction. she shacked her head. they weren’t really on the best of terms, but at least he could’ve said a simple bye. taking her phone, she headed towards her trailor, but found it rather hard to ignore the one she just missed. the one of caspian sinclair himself. with a sigh, she decided that she’d be the bigger person and knocked on the metal door, before walking in. “hey..” she greeted softly and closed the door behind her, though, not bothering to step in closer as she decided that keeping her distance would be smarter. “before you go all crazy… i just stopped by to say goodbye,” she started. “you know, because we’ll never see each other again from now on.. and you seem to hold onto your goodbyes for dear life, so–” she couldn’t help but say. @ofcaspicn

“oh yeah, the light of your life, i like that–please tell me this is the name you’re keeping for me in your phone.” she giggled before giving him another bright smile. if there was one thing, or rather one person she missed while she’d been away in paris, it had been caspian–mainly because after how she’d almost ruined their entire friendship, he was still here in her life and that was something she was thankful for. “okay okay, i think i can kind of tell that you’ve missed me a lot and well you know–now you can get your jinhee feel as much as possible,” she was talking nonsense at this point but with this man–it was allowed. “ooh a month’s worth of compliments huh? should i just call you every day for you to compliment me?”

taking his phone out of his pocket, caspian quickly made work of editing jinhee’s name on his phone. “it is now,” he quipped with a wink. the ease of which he was able to talk to her again was refreshing. although forgiveness wasn’t something that caspian often offered without a fight, forgiving jinhee had seemed nothing but logical to him. especially when considering he’d made far larger mistakes than simply kissing someone while drunk. “you could do! or like, i could send you cute little notes with compliments scribbled on them,” thinking momentarily of the logistics of his suggestion he let out a light hum. “although that could be tricky... i’ll think of something. you’ll get your month worth of compliments somehow.”