georginaâ:
his questions took a grip on her heart, squeezing it to an extent where the pain was unbearable. she knew heâd probably hate her, heâd judge her, heâd run away but the words kept playing on repeat. kept begging her to let them out and when she opened her mouth, a waterfall of tears fell running down her clean features. âit did.â she sobbed out, gasping for air. she hated herself whenever she cried. it could never be a charming, heart-wrenching cry. it was always an explosionâ a lightning show of sadness and grief and her own coping mechanism of hiding away her emotions and bottling up the ones that made her stay awake for a whole night were to blame. âand i did nothing.. i couldnât do anything! i couldnât bring her back and make her look at me.. to tell her i forgive her. that i loved her. that iâm sorry.â she was in a trance, rambling on and on, but she couldnât help it. he opened a door and there were demons hidden behind it, waiting to be set free. âand i keep on doing the same fucking mistake with everyone. i never have the balls to say what i feel.. while i have the chance.â another patch of tears kept bubbling out of her eyes, caramel orbs now sparkling with sorrow and hurt. âand iâm sorry, caspian.. god, iâm so fucking sorry,â she tilted her head backward as to grasp some more air. âiâm sorry i never told you how i feel, how important you are to me.. that i never let you in.â she nodded to her own words, cheeks, and nose red from the emotions that just exploded for the whole world to see while she was starting to calm down. her guards were down and the walls were broken laying shattered on the ground. only the dust from the fallen bricks now lingering over her confused soul, leaving it wondering âwhat do we do now?â. her eyes pierced his, demanding words.. actions.. anything. the calmness after the storm, the silence that followed her outburst caused her to swallow down what seemed to be a ball that kept her from breathing properly to this very moment. her gaze moved away from him with a shaky sigh, shifting from one wall to anotherâ she couldnât let herself look at him right now, not when his reaction was still unknown.Â
it wasnât a secret that caspian had never been convinced by georginaâs acting while theyâd been on set together, yet the display of emotions before him would have had to be oscar-winning if it wasnât as genuine as it seemed. it takes him a second to rein himself in, to stop himself from going over to comfort her like theyâd been back in the ballroom months prior. âi... itâs...â he licks his lips hesitantly, not knowing the gravity of the grief she must have been feeling or how to deal with the torrent of words that had just erupted from her mouth. âthe thing with her... itâs... thatâs not your fault... nobody could have predicted she would have died like that, gigi. like, people get in arguments all the time and then they... they say things they donât mean without really... thinking it through.â like himself. âfuck...â itâs while trying to think of how many people heâs fought with recently that it hits him. that if something similar had happened to georgina he would have been in the same position she was now, right in front of his eyes. itâs only then that his eyes soften entirely, hesitatingly moving to take a step closer to her. âiâve said things i donât mean,â he continued, still trying to take in her speech moments before. âand... look, what you did to me was shitty. and it hurt a lot because i... i donât take too well to people upping and leaving me because everyone iâve ever really cared about has done that... and itâs kinda fucked me up, to be honest.â a gulp accompanies his words. theyâre the most personal words heâs probably ever admitted to her. but caspian figures that if sheâs going to be honest with him then he also needs to give something in return. âand i... i guess i must care about you a lot because it uh, it stung. quite a bit... but i shouldnât have confronted you like that... or just, like, been as rude to you as i was... i uh... have no real excuse for that.â caspian moved to scratch awkwardly at his neck before taking another shaky pace towards her, biting his lip softly as he let his gaze rest on her face. âand iâm uh... iâm sorry. because uh, youâre important to me and i... i also fucked up becuase i... uh... i should have told you that.âÂ










