Odette Carotte

This is by a patient of mine with early late stage dementia, who was a poet for most of her life. Her new poems are dictated to me during writing workshops I run at my hospice job. She hadn't written since her diagnosis. This is one of seventeen poems I've written with her so far.

I’ve been doing poetry since I could write but I do think she was my only teacher.

Working with her was one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. I mean it when I say you all are so lucky to get even this glimpse at the majesty of her work.

In her words from another poem (not posted):

I am not the only creature watching

All of this,

Drinking it in.

I have a companion,

The cat who sleeps in the backyard

Is watching, too,

You must unlearn this.

You must accept that all people will be annoying at some point or another in their lives, maybe all of their lives, and that this is okay. It is okay for strangers on the bus, it is okay for children in the grocery store, it is okay for people on social media, and it is okay for you.

They might be more skilled at something, in a way you should respect to accomplish things. They may have power over you, such that you need to listen to them to avoid pain. They may be someone you look up to, because they're accomplished in some way.

But fundamentally everyone you could ever meet, from presidents to scientists to writers to elders, should be treated no better than, say, your buddy Kev. They don't need deference Just Because, they aren't inherently smarter on axes you haven't seen evidence for, and they do not deserve or require Respect in some amorphous fashion.