in a cocoon

Bodily:24

Pronouns : They/Them but also open to most pronouns

mixed

Non-Binary/pangender/agender(depending on who’s front)(it’s confusing but it’s the best explanation currently)

Diagnosed AuDHD & DID (we do support researched self diagnoses)(disabled body)

Uses “We” a lot

If under 18 pls don’t follow because I don’t want you to possibly be exposed to topics you aren’t ready for yet…if you are blocked it’s most likely for your safety

We aren’t very comfortable with discourse but we will share some experiences that might be related to discourse topics and about sharing our perspectives

We generally try to look at nuance for many things cause people and life are complex

I will block you: ableist against any disability , any terf/swerf/truscum, pro/neutral contact paras, racists…also if you are against complex and nuanced gender experiences

The 2026 update: well I’m back and better and worse simultaneously 🥳

Your hands having never touched me makes me cry

We never got to gaze into each other or hug or hold

I feel like I’m not allowed to have a these feelings for this to be a heartbreak because we always had a screen and too many miles between us

Some said we couldn’t love each other sometimes I wonder if you really did love me the way I do you despite our distance

I know you don’t understand when you talk to me as a friend my body starts hurting and screaming or else you wouldn’t have spoke to me again and the conflicting feelings are insane I never wanted to leave you I wish my body and heart could withstand the time you can’t talk and the lack of touch but I can’t

Maybe I’m hopeless I feel selfish yearning but I wanted you to be the first hands to touch me that wasn’t an abuser

My body is screaming for something it can’t have you can’t give and my body is screaming and it won’t stop I started to love you but we’re separated states and screens and I thought you loved me too I gave you so much and you don’t love me the way I started to love you maybe it’s the distance between and you know you can’t give me what I need I tried to runaway but I couldn’t help but stay will we ever really meet I don’t want to use apps to try and fulfill these messy feelings inside me I hope I will stop loving you so I can be free I want to love somebody who loves the way I do

My hearts too big I love too easy

I feel so suicidal and dysphoric and misunderstood

I was on the path to my last gender affirming surgery and I got lost due to a few reasons but the main one was I ignored my own feelings and invalidated them due to fear mainly I got too caught up in cis ideals

thoughts that I couldn't honor my feminine and woman aspects if I fully honored my masc and man aspects that if I had this dysphoria relieving surgery I'd destroy my ability to be fully fem and woman or for the lesbian alters to be happy which isn't true all of these feelings came from cis ideals of what a woman has to be

My dysphoria isn't from because I'm missing what a cis man has but that I'm missing a part that would fulfill connection of and for intimacy the part I want doesn't have gender but I was pushing the gendered ideal/ideas onto myself

I'm very sad cause now I might not be able to have this surgery for a long time, if ever and that I invalidated myself/ourselves on an unfair cis narrative of what I'm supposed to be

The new meds that it seems like we need to switch already is making all this amplified

We’ve made our prison for like a decade and I’m like my own captor and prisoner

It’s like I have no one