That was so embarrassing I’m never speaking again

I dont even know what you’re talking about but im reblogging

A waitress said “enjoy your meal” and I replied “love you too”

I remember when I found out other people chop off the tops of strawberries. I was getting stoned with a bunch of older kids and popped a whole strawberry, top and all, in my mouth. And everyone started laughing and ragging on me for being so high i ate the whole strawberry and I just had to go with it and pretend like I hadn’t eaten every single strawberry of my life like that

me: going 100mph (100 mistakes per hour)

cute messages while I’m asleep is literally the key to my heart

the worst part of getting out of bed is losing all the heat you had built up