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even blood washes away to clean, cold stone with enough effort, and the clues to what came before wash away with it
â a tokyo ghoul oc, by syd

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⸺ I SIT MY words beside my throne.
also death stranding consumed my life since the last time is here so iâm working on a blog for a character from that and also making an au for stef
191222
happy birthday!
It's a simple box delivered to him, without a return address (and let's not question how she got /his/ address in the first place). Inside are some empty picture frames, neatly packaged and in a style very similar to those he had used in STEM. There's not a card, but there is a simple folded note. "Happy birthday and happy holidays. You only get one gift for both. - Kidman"
The box is (rightfully) suspicious, and had he not remembered what today is, he likely wouldnât have brought it into his apartment at all.
Getting up the nerve to open it, thoughâthat takes some time. Mostly consisting of poking the thing, turning it over in his hands, putting it back on the table, and picking it up again. But thereâs nothing to indicate anything dangerous. No ticking, strange smells, or odd residue on the box.Â
So, he opens it. And, thankfully, nothing goes horribly wrong.Â
Inside isâŚpicture frames? Which is surprising, but less so when he opens the attached note.Â
He smiles to himself. Well, thatâs nice of her.Â
Kidman deserves a thank you the next time they cross paths. If she wants to attempt to be civil, heâs certainly not going to let her forget it.Â

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time to pretend itâs still stefâs birthday since i got caught up in stuff and couldnât be here yesterday :3c
ineffablequestion replied to your post:Â
Zip em to me and Iâll resize them for u
i just downloaded a batch editor because iâm a stubborn creature who has to do everything on my own. gosh. >:^(
To me art is an adventure into an unknown world, which can be explored only by those willing to take the risk.
Mark Rothko (via quotemadness)
oof oh jeez i havenât been on this blog in so long that i somehow got used to having 80px icons on other blogs in the interim and now 100px feels wrong somehow i hate this oh my god

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kidmxnâ:Â
Kidman doesnât flinch or shy away from the sudden display of anger, hardly reacts with anything more than her gaze shifting fully to him with a slight turn of her head. Sheâs used to quick anger, particularly from men. Itâs not frightening, and itâs also clearly not directed at her as soon as he starts to speak.
A year. For someone who saw over a decade of her life taken and molded by the group, a year sounds trivial. It sounds like no time at all. But she wonât hold his anger about that against him; not like she will other things that he was in control of.
âThatâs a answer,â she replies coolly, but her tone is less clipped. Thereâs no warmth, but thereâs less glass at the edges of her words. âMOBIUS took from a lot of people, some more than others. I wonât deny you your anger and frustration.â Sheâs good at talking, at making it sound like her words have been carefully chosen even if sheâs being forced to deviate from her mental script.
But. âBut I wonât let you deny what you did inside STEM, and those you hurt and took from. You asked if I know Sebastian Castellanos, and Iâll answer that question now: Yes, I do. I was his point of contact outside of STEM.â So I heard all about you and all the terror you put him and Lily through. Her lavender gaze is unwavering.
Stefano is quickly learning several things about Juli Kidman. One: sheâs harder to rile up than Sebastian. Two: she has no sympathy for someone like him. Three: acting out in front of her is hardly worth it if sheâs just going to react like this. Sheâs not fun.
Those impossibly vibrant eyes watch him, and he regards her with defiance, chin tilting up to look down at her. His eye is pale blue, the color more washed out than usual beneath the overcast sky.
âI donât know how to put this in a way that you will understand, that you will believe me...so Iâll say it plainly. I am no longer a danger to either of them. Sebastian and Lily are safeâfrom me, anyways.â He knows she wonât take a statement like that at face value. Itâs wise to be skeptical, and he canât fault her for that.
âIâm not denying what happened in Union, but there were extenuating circumstances that led to that situation. If you had access to information about me, you should realize that terrorizing children is not my typical motivation. We are no longer in Union, and Lily is no longer the Core. As such, she means nothing to me.â His point being that even someone like him sees hunting down a child as beneath him.
âAnd if I ever reverted to my old habits, Sebastian would have my head.â He draws a gloved finger across his throat for emphasis. âYou and I both know that saving my own skin is whatâs most important to me.â
Stefano Valentini and knives (inspired by this)
Continuing my Tumblr-Renaissance with The Evil Within fanarts because I fell in love with these games (and basically horror survivals) this year.
physically iâm here but emotionally iâm unconscious, face down on a table at dennys
kidmxnâ:
âThey werenât easy to break away from,â Kidman agrees, which isnât giving anything away since sheâs just reiterating what heâs just said. What she doesnât explain is that she had a direct hand in dismantling that organization from the inside. What she doesnât explain is that itâs gone, the agents dead and their computer systems fried. If he doesnât already know that, thereâs no point in telling him. Not yet, anyway.
Itâs clear he wants a reaction to his next statement though, and she doesnât give one. Thereâs no shift in her steely expression. âYouâre expecting me to answer another one of your questions when you havenât answered one of mine?â The question comes out as more of a statement, and thatâs deliberate; sheâs not giving anything in way of a hint about her connection to Sebastian.
âIâll ask you again: why are you still here?â
The mention of Sebastian has her feeling even more irate than she was initially.Â
Sheâs a cagey one, isnât she? As to be expected from her how she holds herself, but frustrating nonetheless.Â
More bothersome is Kidmanâs insistence in repeating the same question. Why are you still here?
Well, if she wants a direct, open, and honest answer, sheâs about to get one.
âWhy?â he echoes. His upper lip curls in derision, the visible portion of his face twisting into a mask of cold, totally intentional fury. Not anger at Kidman, necessarily, but something seated deeper. An old wound, fetid and infected.
âI have nowhere else to go. Thatâs why. MOBIUS took a year of my life from me, more if you take into account my time spent trying to get into Theodore Wallaceâs good gracesâIâm sure youâre familiar with him. And in return, I have been left with nothing. All that being free from STEM has done is lock me in another cage. Even if I deigned to leave, to go back to my motherlandââ he scoffs at the ideaâ âthereâd be no home for me there either.âÂ
At that, his affect goes flat, the lines of his face smoothing out. Rage curtained quickly by a veneer of politeness.Â
He smiles.
âIs that a satisfactory answer?â  Â

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kidmxnâ:
She doesnât move as she considers his words, weighing her optionsâthere isnât much risk with using her name. Sheâs not afraid of him, particularly not here in the real world, which is a conclusion she reaches quickly.
That doesnât mean she answers right away, though, letting the silence sit between them for a few breaths. âJuli Kidman,â she answers finally. âEx-MOBIUS.â Thereâs a slowness to the way she says it, as though sheâs making sure he at least gets that one fact right.
But sheâs also sure that will still instill some fear in him nonetheless, which is fine by her. Thatâs also all heâs getting from her; all he asked for what her name, after all, which Kidman gave readily enough. If he wants any other answers, heâll have to ask for them like he did this one.
âKidman.â Hmm. âEx-MOBIUS.â How interesting. Especially if that second part is true. At the moment, beside her, heâs not doubting it.Â
âIâm almost impressed. From what little I know, they canât have been easy to break away from.â Even calling it a little bit of knowledge might be too generous. Theodore was his main connection to the organization, as well as his only source of information aside from what he could glean during the downfall of Union. MOBIUS never gave the impression of being a merciful group.Â
He turns his head to watch her in earnest, preempting his next question. âAre you a friend of Sebastianâs, then?â Simple, but the words are barbed with implication.Â
Castellanos had people helping him, both inside STEM and out. It might be a baseless assumption, but Stefano fully expects her to have been one of them. Heâs prodding for a reaction.Â
kidmxnâ:
The confusion in his expression is enough for herâunsurprisingly, he has no idea who she is, and thatâs something that works in her favor. She continues to fix him with a glare that makes a slight shift into unamused territory rather than just steely, just for another breath or two.
Then Kidman stands and crosses the distance from her bench to his without a word or shift of her expression and, despite her arms uncrossing, thereâs still something closed-off about her. She sits on the edge of the bench, looking out at the greenery ahead of her. âStefano Valentini, was it?â This is the only time her lavender gaze flicks to him from the corner of her eyes before locking straight ahead once more. âI thought youâd died in STEM, yet here you are.â
Her arms cross again. âIâm not surprised by that. Itâs happened before. But why are you still here in Krimson City?â Thereâs an edge to her voice; itâs an accusation. Itâs not a question of why did you stay, but one of why havenât you left?
Wellâher coming over to join him wasnât exactly what he was expecting.Â
His arm drops to his side, and as she sits, he tenses, ever so slightly. Like a nervous animal thatâs beginning to register they arenât the most dangerous creature here.Â
âGetting right to the point, arenât you?â He adjusts his position in an effort to look more relaxed than he actually is, slouching forward slightly, hands coming together to hold the camera in his lap. Heâs glad he doesnât have to hold her gaze with the one eye he has. Sheâs almost intimidating. Who the hell has violet eyes anyways? She must be wearing contacts. Thatâs it, right?
âHonestly, I keep asking myself the same question,â is all he supplies. Itâs worth being coy, for now.Â
And the more he hears it, the more he has an inkling that her voice is familiar to him, somehow.Â
âIf you expect more answers from me, perhaps you should tell me your name.â