Move.

( ... )

Yet, the danger isn’t over. Any sudden movements and he’ll take his chances, fight back, and deal with the consequences later. His muscles tense like the coils on a spring, pulling tighter and tighter so he’ll be ready to jump. 

“What if he’s lying?” he thinks. “He could be lying so I won’t bite him.”

Panic-stricken eyes size up his opponent. Dongwoo doesn’t know what the other is, but he knows that whatever just bit him seemed awfully frightened. Why would anybody be afraid of a newborn werewolf? At this point in Dongwoo’s supernatural life, he knows he’s still more bark than bite. “For the love of…please, please, please think I’m tougher than I am.” he thinks. 

He’s not calm. He’s not calm by a long shot. But, at least he’s listening. 

He thinks he’s getting through to him. It’s the slight whine, the way that the wolf’s eyes seem to look that make Lu think that maybe he can managed to speak with some logic. Maybe he can get this were to listen instead of getting both of them killed. It’s not that he doesn’t deserve it- that he didn’t bite this stranger and cause him to panic like this... But despite that, nothing ever makes Lu want to die... And it makes him want the stranger to die even less.

He’s shaking- just a little. Arms are still stretched out in front of him as a way to try to calm the beast- stop it if it tries to come closer. He could probably push back against the were- fight if he needed but he never wants to need to fight. He’d rather talk this guy down. He’d rather be able to actually explain than cause anymore trouble. He grits his teeth- eyes glinting in the dark yet again. He can still smell the blood, but the reminder of it’s taste is keeping him sane. He doesn’t want to eat that. It will taste terrible.

“G-Good.” He speaks in a higher tone than he’d like- voice wavering and eyes falling to the ground as he tries to think of what else to say. It’s never easy when he’s so panicked. He can never let his completely muddled mind sort through the trouble to make sense of what’s there. He growls more to himself than anything- at his own mind. He clenches his fists now- takes just a step closer.

“I’m so sorry...” It’s the first thing he manages. “I didn’t want to attack you. I never meant for that to happen, so try to calm down.” His words are working better than he might expect. He was... always better than animals, so he’d like to think, but is it alright to treat a were like an animal? Is that... racist or something? Specist? He doesn’t even know how to think about it, so he shoves the possibility out of his mind.

“M-My name is... Lu Han. I-I’m a Wendigo. I’m not looking for a fight, but if you try to attack me then I don’t have a choice.” He shakes his head. No no, that’s not what he wanted to sound like. That sounds bad. “What I... uh, mean is that... My blood, I mean, I... I carry a lot of diseases and stuff. It’s a part of what I am. It’s not safe for you to... I need to see your wound. So you don’t get sick!”

Child of Shadow

——–

( ... )

He considers sending Lu a text to say that he’s at the front, right on time like always. Seokjin is a punctual man, even outside of business, but sometimes waiting for someone else causes some nervousness to compile in his mind. Like most things, this part of him stems from a bad interaction once, maybe a year ago, when he was waiting outside in the dark like this. He steels himself, tells himself not to be so dumb, not to worry about silly things like that. Seokjin takes one of his hands out of his pocket where he’d shoved it before, and knocks on the door twice more. If Lu doesn’t answer, he’ll be disappointed and go home, maybe give the other a day or two of silent treatment. He has hopes it won’t get to that point either.

There’s a bag on the floor by his feet, with little goodies hidden inside. It might’ve been inspired by a show that he watched the other night, and it wasn’t anything other than an empty journal, a  fancy-looking paperweight, and other stationery, but Seokjin was proud of himself for gathering it all up in the first place.

His nerves feel wound about as tight as they can get. His mind is a bit of a mess, but he tells himself that it’s nothing particularly new. Lu knows how it feels to be uncomfortable in his own skin. For himself it’s a constant and so it shouldn’t be all that big of a deal. Recently, though, that comfort is becoming harder to deal with. He’s always hated seeing himself in a mirror but recently he’s haunted by the idea of seeing himself on TV. The idea that someone might film him- that those cameras they’ve put up everywhere might catch him and show him for the monster he is. He’s terrified at the concept of actually going to eat, so he hasn’t. He’s just waiting for the slight hunger he usually feels to start to change- for himself to not have a choice. He doesn’t want to think about it too much...

So he decided to send a little message to a friend he hasn’t seen in far too long. Seokjin is friendly- kind, and his presence seems to have a way of calming Lu down to a certain extent. Maybe it’s the fact that Lu knows he’s, in some way, safe with the other beastblooded man. He’s hired him as a bodyguard before, after all. It’s not that... Lu couldn’t protect himself if he needed to. In actuality, he realizes that he’s quite good at eliminating problems that are within close range... The issue with that, though, is that not all things need to be eliminated necessarily, and Lu certainly doesn’t like making a mess if he can help it. There are enough problems and dead people in town without him adding to the count (not that he has a choice most of the time).

It isn’t long after he’s sent the invitation for Seokjin to join him that he’s laying on the floor of his apartment staring at the roof and getting rather distracted. There’s an opened bottle of Vodka a few steps away, but currently out of reach which is a bit annoying. He doesn’t feel like getting up to get it. All in all, laying on the floor like this has become far too common place for it to be natural, but Lu doesn’t really think anything of it. He just spaces out- letting his mind wander to all of the events of recent times and the talk of supernaturals and their rights. He doesn’t really know what he should even be saying about them... He doesn’t know anything. Even if supernaturals got rights, would he be included? With what he does... He sighs to himself.

Next thing he knows there’s a noise- someone knocking not that his mind processes that correctly at first. He sits up all too slowly and gives the door a confused stare. Did he invite someone over? Or are the neighbors here to complain for no reason..? He blinks once or twice- exhausted mind not processing anything. How long was he even laying on the floor...? He pulls his cellphone out of his pocket and his eyes sort of widen. Well... It’s been several hours and he has a message from Seokjin... Seokjin.

Another knock on the door makes him scramble to his feet and over to the door. All of his spacing out made him completely forget even inviting the other over for a split second, and now he just feels plain rude. The door is opened all too quickly and Lu looks much too wide eyed. He’s not even wearing a shirt- which he realizes his might should be about two seconds later. He gives the world’s awkwardest smile at Seokjin despite all of this- chuckling low and confused.

“Hey... sorry, love. I was, uh... I was spacing out there.” He rubs the back of his neck just a bit before opening the door all the way. “Come on in. I, uh... I should really put a shirt on.” That’s followed with another laugh. He waits for Seokjin to actually come in before walking into his room and pulling on the first available shirt (which is actually just a hoodie). A few seconds later he steps outside and gives a far less awkward smile.

“Thanks for coming by. I think I’ve been going sort of stir crazy without some sort of company... Plus, it’s been way too long!” He pushes some hair out of his face and puts his hands in the hoodie pockets before gesturing toward the couch. “You can have a seat if you want...” And finally, his eyes fall on the bag in Seokjin’s hand.

(original post here but the reblog was being stupid and wouldn’t let me readmore)

( ... )

“Shit happened,” he settles on, not especially wanting to elaborate. He waves his hand very slightly, having a hard time finding appropriate words that aren’t too telling – even if Lu is supernatural, or maybe especially because he is, there are things Minkwang doesn’t want to say. It’s unnecessarily difficult. “A lot of shit. Kinda died and all. I’m back at my old job, and it’s pretty shit too.” He takes another drink, then smirks a bit in Lu’s direction. To some extent, it seems like they may be in the same boat – which isn’t such a bad feeling.

To most people this whole conversation might be just a bit awkward, but with Lu in regards to Minkwang, it’s really not. He doesn’t really care if there are long pauses or anything like that. He’s got his alcohol and frankly that’s enough for him. He swirls the liquid in his own bottle- watching the small vortex it creates in the center as it spirals back into it’s normal shape. He catches Minkwang cock his brow but really only shrugs lazily and takes another swig of his liquor. At this point, he considers the fact that he carries around a bunch of alcohol a normalcy. The people around him ought to be rather used to it.

“Yeah, same old.” He just sort of brushes the topic off, deciding it’s better to ignore than move on with it. Lu himself is the kind of person who would die to change, but he knows Minkwang doesn’t understand why. It’s not fair to try and force the guy into understanding all that shit. Besides, Lu doesn’t want to tell in the first place. No point in talking about what he is. Better to keep the friendship the way it is. Better if the two of them are at an oddly safe distance.

He follows slowly and Minkwang seats himself on the couch- not even bothering to really glance around the place. He doesn’t much care to observe his surroundings- it’s not like anything will really catch his eye. Maybe he’s too apathetic or just... Lazy or something. Either way he just leans against the back of the couch- staring down at Minkwang now. He doesn’t feel like sitting down at the moment. The ride over was enough of that. The conversation picks up again and Lu taps his fingers against the bottle yet again. It’s been a while- so of course Minkwang has a long story. No reason to fret over it.

“Shit, huh?” He mutters more than anything. It isn’t a moment later that Minkwang gives a slightly better explanation and Lu tilts his head to the side- hair falling in front of his eyes. He’s too lazy to move it. Died? So he was serious? That wasn’t sarcasm or a joke or whatever? Man, he’s got to get better at this whole actually knowing what people mean thing. 

“Damn man... Sorry about the whole dying thing.” He scratches the back of his neck. “I mean, I can’t say I really get what you mean but I’m sure it sucks and all... Dying. And plus being back in the old job doesn’t sound so hot either.” He chuckles somewhat sadly- brows furrowed. He glances at Minkwang yet again and returns the smirk- albeit a bit half hardheartedly.

( ... )

“Oh, it’s not that,” Shoumu clarifies, glancing back at Lu with their eyes wide. “It’s because of what I am, that I knew. I saw…” they motion with their hands, searching for words, “Dreams – and daydreams. I’m a dream-eater, so sometimes when I’m asleep… I see things.” It’s not a very good explanation, they don’t think, but it’s an attempt – they don’t like that Lu seems so down on himself.

“I think you do fine,” they mutter, half-pouting. “I mean, I start turning green if I doze off in front of people… so you do fine.”

Lu hums a bit to himself- still staring at the screen and wishes this quicktime event section would just end already. He still listens though, even closely. It’s not like he needs to focus on this game. It’s not like focusing would even result in him caring more about the characters. If anything it would just frustrate him even further. If he hears the word Wendigo in reference to those things again he’s going to explode. He determines it’s better not to respond to the first bit of Shoumu’s talking, though. The mumbling makes it hard enough to figure out exactly what they’re thinking or talking about, and Lu really doesn’t want to say something completely stupid.

He smirks at the laugh though. It’s much more fun to laugh over this game than get mad at it. It’s just so bad... He glances at Shoumu yet again as the other starts to explain- eyebrows furrowing slightly in concern. Lu himself may have spent a lot of time on the internet, but it doesn’t mean he’s aware of every kind of creature in the books. He’s not exactly sure about ‘baku’, so Shoumu’s explanation is quite appreciated. He taps his fingers idly on the control- suddenly starting to feel more and more concerned.

“Aah...” He lets out a nervous laugh. “You... saw then. So you’ve seen that- that thing. That’s uh... I-I uh, yeah. Sorry. Must have, er... Turned your dream into a real nightmare.” He tries to laugh at the joke- hand moving to rub the back of his neck ever so slightly. He bites his lip- suddenly more focused on the screen, but not actually focused at all. He’s staring through it, eyes wandering. Shoumu didn’t leave, so they can’t hate him for it... But maybe they would if they saw what he looks like in real life. Maybe they’d come to despise him if they really knew how he works... Do they know how he works? How does the dream thing even work...? He holds the controller tighter.

( ... )

“From where I’m squatting, this seems pretty obvious.”

The fact that this guy made the effort to regain the high ground further suggested that this was a wolf in deer’s clothing. But this new form was smaller, more frail. It didn’t make sense for a predator to revert to such a sickly looking creature. Even if his words held no merit to him, the mere fact that he spoke clearly meant that he was not lunatic. But that brought up more concerns. If he had control over his body and his actions, then killing a man was considerably less justified than if he was under the moon’s influence. Jiho wasn’t interested in acting on behalf of justice or cleaning up the streets like some vigilante. He was out for his own hide, and even if this guy was a serial killer public menace, it wasn’t his responsibility to deal with that mess.

In the span of mere moments, these thoughts raced through his head. It was that adrenaline again. He could be using his energy to take action, like flying away, or attacking, but he was clearly still alive from choosing to remain on his perch, and he still didn’t know what this new form was capable of. It seemed best to remain put for now, so he continued to glare into his red eyes. He wasn’t afraid. He would gladly look up at death and stare it in the face, so he decided to humor death today, and give it the two seconds it so politely asked for.

Lu’s head jerks to the side suddenly- teeth still bared and clawed hands still digging into the surface just below them. He doesn’t want to have this conversation. It’s annoying to deal with this birds trilling, but he still recognizes this as his fault. Likely- a bird would taste as bad as a wolf. Even if he wanted to silence him completely it would be a pointless effort. Lu isn’t in the business of killing aside from when he has to. He’d rather avoid the mess if he could. He’d never kill if that was an option. It’s just not. This isn’t something he can stop. The misunderstanding, to him, is as bright as day.

He follows the rotten bird’s glance back to the corpse- eyes narrowing as he snaps his attention back only seconds later. Looking at that isn’t a good plan for him. His hunger is sated but it’s hard enough not to go berserk at just the reek of blood in the air. He snorts lightly- trying pointlessly to rid the himself of the smell. It’s clinging to him, though. There’s nothing he can do to make it go away at this moment. A hand finally breaks away from it’s grasp on the concrete to gesture ever so slightly. Once again his voice comes out- words ruder than he’d want them to be. Right now, though, the humanity is far to hard to find.

“Ahhh? Listen here, sweetie, just because you can see or hear doesn’t mean you can understand. Hasn’t nobody ever said not t’ judge a book by it’s cover, huh?” His tongue runs over his fangs and he almost flinches at the blood he still can taste. It really is still everywhere. Even in this form he can’t be clean. Not at the moment. The beast is the form that’s suppose to deal with it. This one is supposed to be beautiful. He hates how it’s still so often stained in blood.

His eyes glint in the darkness as he looks the were over yet again. He hunches over a bit more- resting an arm on his knee as he continues to stare. In the dark like this, he can see perfectly. He can tell that the bird looks- if only a little- hyped up. Maybe it’s fear. It’s not like Lu can smell it. It’s just the way the bird acts... He can’t blame him. There’s a corpse, a monster, and a whole lot of blood. Sounds like a picturesque horror movie. Lu is relaxing a bit more, though. His mind is starting to stop with it’s constant frazzling. He can start to see things less as color and shape and more as what they are. He can identify buildings as just that- tell the windows apart. He can remember what all those words mean.

“You think I up and murdered him because I wanted, right?” He doesn’t look at the corpse as he talks- just continues staring at the bird. “I’m some sort of killer? Monster? Cold-blooded and out to ruin anything I can? You’re probably scared I’ll attack you the same way, right? That’s the response I usually get if someone sees.” He shakes his head at that. He almost wants to laugh- to smile, but truthfully he can’t bring himself too. He’s frowning- glaring more at himself than anything else.

( ... )

Distance is kept between him and the other, a means of safety more than anything else. Eyes scan over the male’s form and, in spite of the hard expression that remains onto the youth’s face, there is something in his eyes that betrays concern.

Although the first impulse is to once more ask one if they are alright, there’s truthfully no need for such a question – the answer stands right before his eyes and it’s as clear as daylight that the answer to such a question is a negative one. He feels foolish enough for having asked it the first time around, truth be told – he knows better, after all. Fingers twitch slightly and for a moment, Jeongguk’s breathing heaves a slight. Finding the right words was never easy and now, it feels infinitely harder to weave sentences.

“Can you stand? I’m here to help.” There is a struggle for the sentence to be made to sound gentle, though Jeongguk’s uncertain if it even comes across as that – aren’t his words always harsh and cutting? For once, he finds himself hoping that they aren’t.

“I won’t hurt you.”

For a moment, words seems confusing yet again. Eyes keep darting from side to side- shard to shard as the reflections stare back. He’s still crying- still wide eyed and so scared and he hates the way it looks. In the reflection that monster is crying too- that part of him still suffers and he hates it more than ever. It’s not fair. If it shows him that kind of expression it becomes more real- more part of him and he so desperately wants it to just go away. He doesn’t want to recall anything about himself- about the warped reflection.

What even is he? Why is he like this? What has he ever done wrong? A life spent locked away has done nothing- nothing to ease the desire to pull himself out of that image he sees and become something else. But he can’t there’s nothing he can do to change because even the attempts stay so terribly wrong. It will always be this way and he has to accept it. But how could he? How could he truly deal with this? How can he expected to feel like that beautiful reflection could be him when he’s a monster? How can that monstrous reflection be him when he’s... this way. He barely pulls his gaze from the shards when words are spoken.

Is the stranger annoyed? He should be. He should hate what he’s seeing as much as Lu hates it. He should be disgusted, terrified, mortified. He should want Lu to just disappear and never return. He should want to just walk away and forget everything- every little detail. He shouldn’t be here. He doesn’t deserve to deal with this. No one does. No one ever will. But he stays and he speaks and Lu just looks up with tears still falling like rain.

“S-Sstand?” His voice sounds like a hiss for a moment and he instinctively reaches up to grab his throat. Outwardly it’s just pathetic sounding, but in his own mind he twists it to sound like a monster. He makes it sound like a hissing snake or a hungry beast. He holds his throat still- hands shaking more than the rest of them. Eyes falter for a moment- glancing again to ever staring reflections.

“Yes... Yes I...” He nods. In his mindset words come harder than anything else. He puts his other hand over his eyes- breathe coming out in heaves for a moment. He tries to clear some of his tears, but it does nothing to stop the panic. He pulls the hand down from his throat to once again claw at the front of his shirt. It’s going to be ruined at this rate.

“Ok... Ok...” He repeats the words a few more times- nodding once more. The stranger won’t hurt him. He said he won’t. Even if he deserves it he won’t be hurt. It’s ok. This might help. He needs help. He wants out. 

( ... )

He couldn’t think of a time ever in his entire life that someone had called him ‘hun.’ And he certainly wouldn’t have expected it from a guy that was presumably around his age. He continued staring, realizing being silent this long definitely classified him as rude, but he was still analyzing. Something was nagging at him; a familiar tug of a sensation that he couldn’t place, which he knew was largely because of the awkward scenario he’d placed himself in.

“Uh, I’m Dragonslair…Yong though, you can call me Yong,” he finally forced out, warm amber eyes still staring too intensely, as if waiting for pieces of a puzzle to fall into place. 

This poor guy doesn’t really look like he wants to be here. It might be the rain or more the fact that he’s soaked, but he really just doesn’t look too happy. Then again, the crowd is large and a lot of gamers are more loner types. In a way, Lu almost feels bad. He hopes that his somewhat forward approach isn’t the cause of this discomfort. Maybe if he had actually offered a hand to shake this would be a lot less awkward. He gives a low chuckled- still fidgeting with his hair ever so slightly. 

The silence draws on and Lu just shuffles one of his feet on the ground. Did he say something wrong? He mulls over his words before suddenly realizing that his usual habit surface. This poor guy is probably wondering how the heck he became someone’s ‘hun’ and when someone like Lu started using it. Mentally Lu just slaps himself in the face. He should have thought harder before he talked, but he’s way to stupid for that kind of thing. He just had to go and run his mouth. Curse himself for his friendly attitude. Wait, to late, already cursed.

It isn’t until the stranger introduces himself as Dragonslair that Lu’s eyes suddenly light up- at least as much as they can with the odd dead feeling they always hold. It seems that his real name is Yong, which means Lu should probably give his real name as well. He taps his chest lightly- smile turning back to a more genuine one.

“Ah! It’s nice to meet you, Yong. You can call me Lu, then. Um, my full name’s Lu Han but really, I just prefer Lu.” He shakes his head a little. The water feels terribly gross. In hindsight, he wishes he had some sort of change of clothes. This place isn’t exactly great for that, though. He stares for a moment- eyes a bit focused for the moment. He really can’t shake that feeling.

     ( ... )

     he lets out a small sigh, reaching up in order to give a small scratch to his head before crossing his arms over his chest in thought. the main problem now is what the actual fuck – sorry, flip – to get.

     “uh,” he begins and silently curses himself for starting off that way because if that isn’t uncomfortable and awkward then he doesn’t know what is, “doubt we’ll get a good meal here, but there’s some places nearby. anythin’ in particular you wanna eat, k– lu?”

     well, at least he caught himself before ‘kid’ rolled off his tongue. old habits die hard.

The smile is somehow comforting. It’s nice to see someone else smile at him, even if it’s faked or forced. He’s never been great at telling the difference anyway, so he always just... tells himself that it’s real. It’s better to feel like things are, after all. It’s better for him to just think that people are actually happy with him so he doesn’t start telling himself again and again that no one could ever actually care. He doesn’t want to drag himself down that hole again.  He gives a side glance to the mirror before looking down again. 

“Ah, well then we’ll certainly need to both get food. My treat, if you’d like.” He gives a laugh laced with nerves as he stares toward the floor away from the mirrors. At this point, he’d do anything to get away from those things. Why must all public restrooms include them? Right, because he’s the odd case here, not everyone else. He looks up still trying to hold some semblance of a smile despite the way his eyes are drawn to the mirrors around him.

“There are... uh, there’s lots of places nearby. Um, we can drop by my apartment since it’s only a short walk. Then I can change and we could go to then- uh... There’s a family restaurant just nearby. So that could work out. I mean, if that’s okay with you. I could cook too, I guess.” He doesn’t cook often, only for other people. If he did cook he’d need to buy ingredients. It’s not like he stocks them in his home. He doesn’t exactly need to eat normal meals. He wants to say more, but his body sort of moves first.

He probably shouldn’t be touching people without thinking- it’s both rude and dangerous considering what he is, but he steps past Yoongi and takes ahold of the witch’s wrist in order to almost pull him from the bathroom. As long as he’s away from mirrors, it really doesn’t matter where they go. He can eat something and maybe sort of enjoy the taste of it. It’ll make Yoongi feel better maybe and then he also stands a chance to get to keep company. He also gets to feed said company, so all is well in his book.

( ... )

“…Whoops.”

Shoumu shakes their head roughly and pulls their form back together, the little hints of their heritage fading away again. Even if Lu isn’t that different from them – they aren’t quite comfortable enough to want him to see that. Sheepishly, they turn back to the screen, a tiny smile pulling at their lips. “Yeah, though. People don’t do the research… probably… don’t even know for sure what’s folklore and what’s real. Dunno how things are in America, exactly, but it’s a bit like that in Japan.” Like the fact that baku tapirs and baku chimeras aren’t actually the same thing, despite some similarities.

“Sorry it’s so inaccurate,” they say, sympathetically despite their airy tone, as they glance back over at their friend. “I, ah… also sorry that I didn’t tell you.”

Lu finds himself smiling more stupidly than anything else. Shou can be cute when they gets all shy. It’s not common for them to get this way, normally, if anything, they’re always this like... super tired thing. But Lu doesn’t mind at all. He just look back to the game and keeps playing despite the player character he was a moment ago having just suffered their untimely death. It’s not like he does much else than pressing X in the first place. He gets most of what Shoumu is talking about. Most people don’t fact check anything they make before they do it. 

Then again, he can’t expect that. He really can’t be too upset. Who in their right mind would seek out a wendigo to ask them questions, after all? To his knowledge, he’s the only one and he doesn’t exactly plan on letting any more exist. So, in a way, he doesn’t think he has a right to be as offended as he is... He still IS, but he realizes that maybe he’s judging this a bit too harshly.

The doesn’t change that it’s a BAD GAME THOUGH.

“Yeah, I guess people wouldn’t care to ask anybody though.” He shrugs as he misses another quicktime event and watches Mr. Supposed To Be Hot And Sexy smack his stupid head into a tree branch. “Sorta’ hard to find the right kinds to ask, plus humans are a bit scared of our sorts.” He’s stupid, but no idiot. He can determine that from what Shou is saying that they must be a ‘baku’. It’s sort of neat to feel less alone.

“Ah, but no worries, hun’.” He smiles again- not even looking at the screen when there’s another “OOF” coming from the character tripping into the snow as he fails to hit the buttons. He’s really just letting it happen because he thinks it’s funny at this point, and he’s sure Shou can’t disagree with that. “It’s cool. I didn’t exactly tell you either, but I’m guessing you knew? I’ve never been super hot at hiding it from other people. I sort of stick out like a sore thumb...” A weak laugh.