Don't break an arm jerking yourself off, Morty

my mind: Not so fast Morty you heard your mom we’ve got adventures to go on Morty Just you and me and sometimes your sister and sometimes your mom but NEVER your dad! You wanna know why Morty? Because he CROSSED me Oh it gets darker Morty Welcome to the darkest year of our adventures First thing that’s different No more dad Morty He threatened to turn me in to the government so I made him and the government go away I replaced them both as the defacto patriarch of your family and your universe Your mom wouldn’t have accepted me if I came home without you and your sister so now you know the real reason I rescued you I JUST TOOK OVER THE FAMILY MORTY And if you tell your mom or sister I said any of this I’ll deny it And they’ll take my side because I’m a hero Morty And now you’re gonna have to do whatever I say Morty Forever And I’ll go out and find some more of that Mulan Szechuan Teriyaki dipping sauce Morty Because that’s what this is all about Morty That’s my one arm man I’m not driven by avenging my dead family Morty That was FAKE I’m driven by finding that McNugget Sauce I want that Mulan McNugget Sauce Morty That’s my series arc Morty If it takes 9 seasons I WANT MY MCNUGGET DIPPING SAUCE SZECHUAN SAUCE MORTY IT’S GONNA US ALL THE WAY TO THE END MORTY 9 MORE SEASONS MORTY 9 MORE SEASONS UNTIL I GET THAT DIPPING SZECHUAN SAUCE FOR 97 MORE YEARS MORTY I WANT THAT MCNUGGET SAUCE MORTY

“You’re gorgeous..” He whispered, and Rick’s lips tugged into a smirk.

“Flattery will get you everywhere, baby.” He drawled.

Morty’s heart fluttered and his cheeks coloured.

“B-baby?” He whispered, and Rick chuckled softly.

“C'mere.” He murmured, leaning down and pressing their lips together gently.

Morty pressed back instantly, humming softly, and when they parted he smiled.

“Good morning.” Rick whispered against Morty’s lips, and Morty’s smile widened.

“Good morning.” He breathed. “Want to go downstairs? I-I can make you breakfast.”

“Breakfast sounds great.”

Morty wiggled out of bed and made his way to the door, turning when Rick hadn’t moved and was simply smiling at the brunette.

“Come on, b-babe.” He stuttered nervously, cheeks flushing darker.

Rick sat up, eyes wide in surprise, and a second later he scrambled off the bed and toward Morty, scooping him up and pressing him against the door, capturing his lips once more.

“Say that again.” He murmured, and Morty swallowed thickly.

“Babe..”

Rick grinned against his lips and stepped back, keeping Morty in his arms as he opened the door and stepped out.

“I could get used to that.” He chuckled, carrying the brunette down the stairs, Morty’s giggles lasting the entire trip to the kitchen.

“What’s so funny?” Beth asked from inside the kitchen, and Morty stiffened and Rick instantly set him down, both realizing rather suddenly that they should have been more careful and made sure they were home alone.

“Oh, n-nothing. Just something Rick to-told me.” Morty fibbed, stepping into the room, and she nodded.

“Alright. I’m on my way to work.” She waved and stepped out the door, and finally they were alone.

“Pancakes?” Morty offered, turning to face the taller man as he stepped closer to the counter, hands on either side of Morty.

“Fine-”

ANIMATION IS HARD DID YOU GUYS KNOW THAT-