Sailing the Shipping Seas

He becomes a consultant who shitty teams trying to not suck, good teams who want to last further into the playoffs, great teams who want to finally win the cup, call to Fix Them.

He is paid absolutely bonkers amounts of money to watch a team play for five minutes and immediately diagnose what’s wrong with them. He is always right.

Ok 5 minutes is probably an exaggeration. The coaches send him a bunch of tape to review in advance. They probably focus on their best players or the ones they think need the most improvement, but half the time Shane requests more, focusing on players they hadn’t paid much attention to before. Then one day at practice, the players look up into the stands and are filled with awe, terror, and wonder, because Shane Hollander is sitting there staring directly at them with a scarily thoughtful look on his face.

He meets with the coaches and gm and reports his conclusions. Who to trade and for who , how to get better results from certain players, how to run power plays and penalty kills, changes in line makeups.

Some lucky players get to meet with him. He takes about five minutes to list off or demonstrate everything they need to do to stop sucking. He has no time for chit chat or hero worship. Focus, listen, learn, and do exactly what he says and you will be good. Fail to do what he says and you will shame your entire bloodline.

spaghettitoesdad

NOT THE CRABS WE EXPECTED BUT STILL SOME CRABS WE DESERVE!!!

“What’s the game?” Lin asked.

“Yes, what's the game?” Bumi seconded, focusing back in as he poured them all shots. “What’s it called? How’s it work? How drunk will it get Lin and if not at all can we rig it to ensure as much?”

“This brand of sake is centuries old and the game is too." Sorik answered them. "It's an old sailors' game.”

“Which means it’s raunchy.” Kya surmised, amused.

“Pass.” Lin droned flatly.

“No passing!" Bumi refuted.

“Game goes by the same name — Sea Princess." Sorik went on. "All the players take turns slinging shots of sea prune sake. One for each ‘Sea Princess’ they’ve had…encounters with. Last one left drinking is the winner. Whoever hasn’t run out of Sea Princesses to cite, essentially."

“Oh…" Bumi turned to Kya, wide eyed. "We're done for, sister.”

"You think!?" Kya said, extremely exasperated.