Yes... That's Matt..

Thank you, I love you too. I’m hanging in, it’s better than hanging from a tree.

The feeling of isolation has become more real. Not having a routine has messed with my head and not having a continuous conversation with someone is more of downer than I thought. I do like being by myself but not for an extended period of time. All my insecurities become more debilitating Day by Day. The unholy thought has crossed my mind more than once but I pride myself on being strong and pushing through that idea. If not only for my two girls. They deserve a dad just like I deserved one. She benefits from this situation more than you could even imagine. Tax free money from me and her new 40 year old boy friend is a constant reminder that I wasn’t good enough. Why so soon. Was our marriage really that horrible that she clocked out months before telling me and how long has he been around. Who knows. Only her.

From sunrise to sunset the people stare into what is no more than a tracking device for their loved ones and the FBI. We are all guilty of it, I am and so are you. I try and put the screen down and pretend it’s 1962, having a cigarette and trying to talk to strangers. But that’s the problem. We call them strangers rather than neighbors, we are so wrapped up in what is happening to our secret crush that doesn’t know we exist or our favorite celebrity that lives in a hilltop mansion with more money than some local governments. I want to experience life and try to meet new people everyday. If you want to talk to me as a person not a stranger ask for my phone number. Collection agencies have so why can’t you.

For 4 years I gave you everything you asked from me, and now you’re taking everything from me with no remorse. Happy Mother’s Day you fucking cunt.