Whatever

You got hallucinations and delusions of grandeur from ADHD?

We can't ibuprofen our way outta this one boys

Liver damage and high blood pressure

Look we can’t start doing whatever this is where we name the network or production studio to specify the piece of media. It’s always been year of release so let’s please stick with that.

I should be less worried about seeming annoying. plenty of people are annoying and they all seem to be doing fine

Are you doing fine tho?

I forgot that bitch existed lol

whenever i click the cc button on a youtube video that clearly has a high budget and is made by a fucking studio and i see “english - auto generated” i spit daggers from my eyes and mouth at whoever decided to not pay someone to make actual captions

consider also spitting them at youtube, who took away the ability for viewers to submit captions even though it was fucking free

Do you remember when people started putting their own content on other peoples videos in the form of commentary in the fan made cc?

Ant cereal gulgatha. It’s sacred to them

Why would people say that sex is what makes us human when art and music exist

All of you saying “what about bread” you are so valid

In 8,000 years they will say this about hot chips.

You should give this to your boss at the end of the day and then never come back.

Pretty sure that’s the whole point of Twitter.

If your cat is curious abt what you're eating always let em have a lil whiff. 9/10 times they don't even wanna eat it they just wanted to know what it was. it's cute

Dogs think that smells weird, I bet it tastes weird. I seem to be eating? Guess I better swallow.

imagine a family getting all settled in for a family movie night “everyone got their popcorn? I’ll get the movie set up” and then their mom opens up tumblr on the television and starts scrolling through the posts. “it’s gotta be around here somewhere, ah! there it is!” she clicks on the compressed Morbius GIF and they all sit happily and watch the entire thing.

In silence

They need to put a couple shots of whiskey in a tiny wooden barrel around their neck so that they can get you tipsy like a Saint Bernard while you wait for the crew to extricate you.

If you google my URL and the word tumblr, like 80% of the relevant results are of this post being reposted on every website imaginable

That’s part of your penance for popular post

when i go on the rollercoasters the employee measures my height and when they see that im shorter than 5'6 they shout MINOR CODED and a sniper from 150mt away shoots me dead

Militonnes?

can not pick this burrito up bc its heavy and im scared it’ll bust a fat burrito nut if i lift it so its positioned like a meat obelisk for me to deepthroat

So a burrito is a small version of a burro. They make tortillas in different sizes and the regular size tortillas that most people buy are only big enough to make burritos, but they make or you can make larger tortillas and if you fill them with food and roll them up they’re not called a burrito because they’re not mini. They’re called a burro. And I guess if you made one even bigger you’d probably call it a burrote

I miss the SNES

We need to go back to giant cartridges for our games these SD cards and downloads and CDs ain't it man

Yer dumb