Call Me Cherry

Maybe this could become your normal? You could help him with full moons, and then recover the next day. Felix could give you more tips, and maybe Chan would be open to it.

Felix seemed less inclined to include you, seemingly at Chan’s behest. But you had to find out sometime right? Maybe this was better. Just get it over with. You don’t know how you would’ve responded had Chan tried to tell you outright. You probably would’ve laughed in his face.

Flicking off the light, you step back into his bedroom to see Chan’s bleary eyes slowly opening.

“Hey, how you feeling?” You ask, smiling down at him.

All you hear is the sound of wood cracking and Chan is suddenly out of bed and across the room. He was practically hyperventilating, looking between you and the door and his bed. His hands grip his torn wrists, mostly healed but still raw looking.

“Chan, I—”

“N-no, you weren’t supposed to—you can’t—you can’t be here, Y/N! Why would you—Felix—did he—no, don’t get near me!” The second you take a step forward he scrambles backward, slamming hard against the wall of his bedroom. You pull back your hands, pressure building behind your eyes.

“Channie…” You didn’t know what to say, hopeless and heartbroken. He looked so betrayed, he’d never looked at you like that before.

“You can’t—Y/N, this isn’t how I… you can’t be here!”

“Chan, baby, just take a breath. I’m okay, nothing happened.”

“When what’s that?” He pointed a shaking finger towards your leg, the pale pink punctures still fresh on your skin.

You hesitate, “I… that wasn’t, you didn’t mean to—”

“I hurt you, Y/N! I did that.”

You couldn’t refute it, he had hurt you, knowingly or not. But you knew he wouldn’t hurt you now.

“This is why I didn’t…” His voice cracks, head falling forward as he stares at the floor. “Just go.”

“Chan, please.” You take another step forward, “Don’t do this. I was just—”

“GET AWAY FROM ME!” He whips his head up, eyes flashing yellow as his snarl ripped through the air. His teeth were noticeably sharper than normal, nails turned to half-formed claws.

A small scream escapes your lips as you stumble back towards the door, you almost trip, reaching out to the wall to keep yourself from falling to the ground. Fingers hook around something smooth and heavy, wrenching it from the wall.

CRASH

Mirror shards scrap across the wood floor, you step back, slipping on one of the pieces and landing hard on the floor. Catching yourself on your palm, you yelp as another piece of the mirror cuts into your palm. Ignoring the red dripping onto the floor, you open the door with your other hand and scramble out of the room.

Down the stairs, out the front door, the wind whipping your hair around your face as you quickly moved outside. The sun was high in the sky, though you hadn’t checked what time it was. You didn’t stop running until you got to your own front door. Chest heaving, you try to open the door but the tears start coming. Your legs give out under you and you crumple to the floor, sobs wracking your body.

You were scared of him, at least in the moment. You didn’t want to be scared of him. He was Channie. Your Channie. 

He’s a monster.

You stared down at the shallow pool of blood on your palm, it’d dripped onto your welcome mat.

No. Don’t say that.

He was just scared and hurt and confused. He’d never hurt you. Even in his… wolf form, he hadn’t hurt you. Not really.

He’d scared you though.

What were you supposed to do now? You could call Felix, explain what happened? Would he be upset with him too? Or would Chan want to call him as well? Surely Felix would pick his long time friend over you.

Once you pulled yourself together enough, you slipped back into your house and shut the door behind you. It felt so empty. Not that it shouldn’t be, you lived alone aside from Posey, but something about the dark house—curtains closed and lights off—filled you with dread.

The floorboards creaked as you made your way upstairs, finding Posey asleep on your bed. She’d had a long night, you weren’t shocked she was still asleep. You couldn’t help but feel bad you’d had to leave her for the night. You snuck past her and into the bathroom, running the tap over your palm and hissing at the sharp sting.

It wasn’t deep, but you’d always been a bleeder. You couldn’t help but recall the time you’d been playing badminton with Felix, Jisung, and Chan in his backyard and Jisung had accidentally hit you with his racket. You said over and over you were fine, despite the blood trickling down your temple. Chan had made such a fuss over it. 

You eyed the scar, hardly noticeable anymore and mostly hidden under your hair. You wanted to smile, willing yourself to find comfort in the memory. But it felt tainted now.

You quickly wrapped a bandage around your hand before slipping back out of the bathroom.

“Hi, baby.” You cooed, kneeling next to the bed and running your hand over Posey’s head and down her back. She perked up, giving you a soft yip and nuzzling into your hand. “Sorry I was gone so long. Let's get you some breakfast, yeah?”

As you prepped Posey’s food, you suddenly realized how hungry you were yourself. You hadn’t eaten since mid afternoon the day before and your stomach growled at the thought.

Setting Posey’s dish on the floor, you walked back into the kitchen and opened your fridge. There wasn’t much, you’d been eating a lot of take out, and leftovers were sparse, most of your nights were spent at Chan’s—at least for dinner.

Your mind continued to wander, reminding you how much red meat Chan served. You hadn’t thought anything about it until now. What did his diet look like? Did he have to change it after he turned? Has he ever eaten a… person?

Nope. No. Don’t go there.

You took a deep breath, moving to your cabinet to pull a cup of ramen from the shelf. Your heart was still pounding in your ears, it was hard to concentrate. You watched the kettle boil, the screeching steam hardly phasing you.

Pouring the water into the ramen cup, you almost spilled it on your hand when your phone pinged with a message. Covering the top, you put down the kettle and walked to your phone—still sitting on your counter from last night.

Lixie I’m so sorry! Please tell me everything is okay How are you? How’s Chan? Hyunjin is fine before you ask

…

Ring ring Ring ring Ring ring

“Channie?”

“Felix… I fucked up.”

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“I’m okay, I finally finished that stupid scene with Kara and Adrienne.”

“That’s great! Does that mean you’ll read it to me?” You couldn’t help but smile at the sing-songy tone in his face, you could practically picture the face he was making.

“No. Just because you’re my boyfriend doesn’t mean you get early access.”

“Come on!” He whines. “You read me the first chapter and I’m hooked! I wanna know what happens next. Do they figure out they’re soulmates? How does their family react? Are they doomed to live without each other!?”

“Sorry, lover boy. You’ll have to wait like everyone else.”

You could practically hear him pouting, but he soon changed the subject.

“So, we never settled on what we’re making when I get back. Blueberry cobbler or chocolate cake?”

“You already know what my vote is.”

“And you already know what my vote is.”

You think for a moment, “Should we flip a coin?”

“No, cause you’ll win.”

“What are you talking about? It’s random chance.”

“Not when it comes to you! You’re a witch I swear, casting hexes over the coins.”

“Keep going and I’ll cast a spell on you.”

“You already have. I am bound to you, love. And anyway you could just lie about the results.”

“What if I let you do it?”

There was a long pause.

“Let me find a quarter.”

Chocolate cake it was.

Chan decided to keep you on the line until he got back the his hotel, about the crash for the night. You peppered him with questions about the trip, wandering around your house—Posey at your ankles—as you talked. The sound of a car pulling up outside got your attention, though you thought nothing further of it.

“Well I’ll let you go, lover. You need your rest and it’s late enough as it is.”

“Oh I wouldn't worry about that, you know me.” 

“That I do,” you sigh. “But please try to get some sleep.”

“But I got so much sleep on the plane.”

“…what?”

“You can’t be mad at me for lying because… I’m home?”

It took you a second to process what he’d just said, the slight echo you’d noticed a few moments ago suddenly making sense as you ripped open your front door to reveal a blushing Chan, ladened with grocery bags.

“Channie!” You shriek, practically tackling him as you wrap your arms around his neck. “I missed you so much!”

“Ah! Oh my god, Y/N! I missed you too! But I’m going to drop all of this if you—”

You took a step back, pulling two bags out of his arms as you both caught your breath. You quietly apologized, helping him get into your house and setting all the bags on the kitchen counter.

“Okay, my arms are free, you can—ah!” You beat him to it, rushing into his arms as he laughed—pulling you in tight and squeezing. He squeezed back tighter, burying his face into your hair.

“I missed you so fucking much,” you mumbled into his shoulder.

“I missed you too, honey.”

It was hard to believe someone you’d met so recently could become such an important part of your life. He was your second home, he made you feel safe and wanted. He’d become your person, and you his.

Chan started talking a mile a minute when you finally broke apart, explaining how since Chan was just an assistant producer he didn’t have to stay until the end of the conference and could leave early if he wanted, and how it was Changbin’s idea to come and surprise you. You nodded along, the pair of you slowly putting away the groceries, leaving out what you would need for the chocolate cake.

“And god does Jackson snore, I don’t know how I’ve known him for so long and I never figured that out. I have enough trouble sleeping, you’d think he’d give a guy a heads up. I joked that next time we meet up I’m putting a clause in our contract that says we can’t be put in a hotel room together, and honestly I’m really considering it.”

“Did you have fun? Besides that anyway.” You asked, pulling a bowl from the drawers under the counter. “I know you were looking forward to it.”

“I did, it was really nice being around so many people who speak the language, you know? I think we got some really good results, and the company was happy. We may have gone a little overboard but that’s rarely a bad thing when it comes to writing music.”

“I’m glad to hear it.”

He beams at you, walking up behind you and resting his head on your shoulder, his arms snaking around your waist in a gentle but slightly possessive hold.

“I’ve missed you though,” he presses a feather light kiss to your bare shoulder.

“I’ve missed you too, Channie.”

“I missed falling asleep with you, I can’t hardly remember how it was before you were staying over all the time.”

“Mmm, yeah, I missed my personal heater,” you grin over your shoulder.

“Hey!” He laughs, releasing his hold on your waist to take a step back.

You giggle, turning around to peck his nose, “Now we have a cake to make.”

You weren’t sure how you managed to keep the pair of you clean, usually baking with Chan meant ending up covered in flour. But as you slid the finished cake into the oven, you were flour-free shutting the door and setting the timer.

You were about to make the suggestion to watch something while you waited, but Chan seemed to read your mind—pulling you by the hand into the living room. You let him lead you, dropping onto the couch with a dramatic sigh.

Chan pulls you against his side and you rest your head against his chest. You will never get enough of his smell; warm vanilla and slightly spiced, like tobacco and nutmeg. Burring your nose in his neck, you take a slow sniff. His chest shakes with quiet laughter as he looks down at you.

“What are you doing?”

“Mmm, you smell good.” You groan, eyes closed as you move impossibly closer.

“I don’t smell any different than normal…” He trails off.

“God, if I could bake you into something and eat it, I would.”

“Okay, now we’re broaching cannibal territory.” He gently places his hands on your shoulders and pushes, you don’t give.

“No, Channie—” You whine, holding onto him tighter.

He laughs, “Get off me you freak.”

“Noooo!” You basically crawl onto his lap, pressing teasing kisses along his neck and jaw as you settle with your legs either side of him. “Just be quiet and let me eat you like a good boyfriend.”

“Y/N!” He laughs louder when you nip at his neck. “Okay—”

Suddenly you’re laying back on the couch, Chan hovering over you.

“Hey wackjob, I’d like to keep my skin if it’s all the same to you. And I think you’d prefer it too, even if you don’t wanna admit it.”

You pout up at him, though it didn’t last. The way he was smiling down at you, the look of love in his eyes made you break. You giggled, sitting up enough to connect your lips. His high pitched giggle vibrated in the back of his throat as he quickly returned the kiss. Fingers tangled in soft hair, lips parted, tongues tentatively began exploring. You moaned softly when he slid a hand up your thigh and under your top, caressing soft skin. But when you hooked a leg around his hips, trying to pull him closer, he pulled back.

You blinked, looking up at him, “You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine I just… I don’t wanna get carried away.” He mumbles, almost looking ashamed.

“Oh, yeah, of course.” You sat up, adjusting yourself next to him on the couch.

“I’m sorry, I just—”

“Don’t apologize, Chan.” You shake your head, disparaging the thought. “I’m the one who keeps pushing. I’m sorry, I should’ve—.”

“I do want to,” he takes your hand in both of his, pressing a quick kiss to your knuckles. “Please believe that I do, it’s just…”

You tilt your head. You’ve been wanting an explanation for a while. He’d been denying you for months all the while expressing how much he wants to. He’d yet to give you a concrete reason, he’d either find some way to avoid it, make up an excuse, or say he wasn’t ready. And that would all be fine if any of it was true, but you could tell there was something else. You’d started to doubt his attraction to you after a while, but then you voiced it he was quick to dissuade the idea.

“I want it to go well, and I’m worried I’ll fuck it up.”

You smiled, trying not to laugh, “Fuck what up? Why are you putting so much pressure on yourself, Channie? It’s just me.”

He laughs, nodding. “I know, I know…”

“Chan,” you move closer to him, cupping his keep and forcing him to look at you. “I don’t mind waiting, truly I don’t. But I’m kinda getting mixed signals here. Just tell me what’s going on in that pretty head of yours.”

He takes a deep breath, nodding again.

“Good—” You squeal when he suddenly pushes you onto your back. You fall against the plush couch and Chan crawls on top of you, pressing kisses over your face and neck as he speaks.

“I want you to know how badly I want you—physically. You’re so beautiful, and amazing, and I want this for us. I want to take that next step.” He hovers over your face, “I’m just… not quite ready, yet. I can’t explain it, I just need more… time.”

You smile, reaching up to cup his cheek. “Then we’ll take as much time as you need. I can wait for you, Channie.”

“Soon. I promise.”

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He reached out his hand, “Chan, or Chris, whatever you prefer.” You went to shake it, but stopped when you noticed the black grease staining your hand.

“Uh…” You laughed nervously. “I’ll raincheck, but nice to meet you.”

He grinned, “Fair enough. Is this yours or are you fixing it for someone else?" Chan tilted his head, getting a better look at the car in your driveway.

You’d been working on your baby, a cherry red 1972 Bronco, for a few months now. You bought it as a birthday gift for yourself with plans to fix it up and get it running. The weather had been miserable the past few days so today was the first time you’d been able to get outside to work on it.

“It’s mine.” You reached towards the hood and took a rag to wipe your hands—though you still felt the grease on your fingers. The feeling had become so familiar, you’d been obsessed with cars since you were little. Much to your parent’s surprise considering neither of them knew much beyond the basics. Your brother on the other hand was thrilled, taking you to every car show within a reasonable distance of your small town and showing you everything he knew.

Chan’s voice pulled you from your thoughts, “It’s beautiful. I’ve never been into cars much myself… I love the color.” Returning his attention to you, he took a step back, “But I’ll let you get back to it. I just wanted to introduce myself and I saw you outside.”

“Did you want to come in for a minute? I was going to take a break soon anyway.” You offered, gesturing to your front door.

“I don’t want to intrude.” He hesitated, though that charming smile remained on his face.

“No, please, intrude.” You laughed. “I could use the company.”

Chan relented, letting you lead him inside your house, rounding the counter into your kitchen and heading for the fridge. You set a pitcher on the counter before pulling two cups from your cabinet.

“Uh… are you a mechanic or do you just like cars?” Chan asked as you handed him a glass of lemonade, taking a seat at your counter.

“Just a car fan. I’m a writer professionally.” You shrugged, taking a sip from your own glass once you’d jumped up to sit on the counter. “What about you? What do you do?”

“I’m a music producer.” Chan began to explain the ins and outs of how he works. Mostly from his home studio though he would go into recording studios at different companies to help artists record and fine-tune his tracks with other producers when needed. 

“That’s amazing.” You said, it was clear how passionate he was about the work just by how he spoke. You hung out for over an hour, swapping stories and laughing like you’d known each other for years. It was nice to relax with someone for once. Especially after you struggled to find roots after moving.

Woof

Chan turned towards the noise, hearing the clack of nails on wood as a small shaggy white dog pads its way into the kitchen. You smiled, hopping off the counter and setting down your long empty cup before kneeling down and picking up the dog.

“Who’s this?” Chan asks, stepping closer and holding out a hand for her to sniff.

“This is Posey. She must have been sleeping pretty hard if it took her this long to greet someone new in the house.”

Chan laughed, scratching her under the chin, “What breed is she?” 

“She’s a Westie,” you smiled.  “Do you have any pets?”

“Not here, no. My folks take care of my dog Berry back in Australia.” You set her back down when Chan pulled his hand back, though she didn’t stray far, sniffing intently around Chan’s ankles.

“What breed is she? He?” You asked.

“She,” Chan grins, pulling his phone out of his pocket. “She’s a charles spaniel.”

“Aw, cute! They have the best ears,” you can’t help but continue to gush as he shows you a few photos. You ended up sitting on the couch with Posey between you as Chan showed you photos from trips back home, his family, his friends, other adventures he’s been on in the city. After a while, Posey moved to sit in Chan’s lap. You were a little shocked, it usually took a lot longer for her to get comfortable with new people. Though never with other dogs, it doesn't matter if they’re just passing on the street, the slightest attention and she’s all over them.

“This was when Felix almost fell over the side of a bridge while we were taking pictures for his instagram,” Chan flipped between two photos, one of the blonde sitting on top of the railing, looking composed and subtly sensual—the other of him leaning way too far back with a panicked expression on his face.

“Oh my god,” you said from behind your hands, trying not to laugh.

“He didn’t fall in, but only ‘cause Jisung rushed forward to grab him,” Chan said, finally clicking off his phone.

“Well I’m glad he was there to save the day,” you smiled. As you adjusted on the couch, pulling your legs under you, Posey got up from her spot in Chan’s lap, stretched, and hopped off the couch, making her way into the kitchen.

“Thanks for doing this,” you said, turning back to Chan. “I know I kinda dragged you in here but it’s been really nice getting to know you. I’ve uh… had a hard time making friends since the move.” You admitted, staring at your hands in your lap, twisting the ring on your middle finger.

“I’m glad you did, you let me forget about work for a few hours. And I’ve really liked hanging out with you too,” he bumped your shoulder playfully. You looked back up at him, the genuine grin etched on his face making you smile—how could you not? You had a feeling Chan had that effect on people.

The pair of you became fast friends, spending a lot of your free time together. Since you both worked from home, one of you would often pack up the basics and head over to the other’s house just to work in the same room. It was nice. Comfortable.

You eventually met Felix when you randomly knocked on Chan’s door one Friday night and Felix was already there.

“I wondered who the bike belonged to,” you mused, glancing back at the slick black Yamaha parked on the street.

“That’s mine,” Felix grinned. “You’re Y/N, right?”

You nodded, shaking his hand. The blonde had a far deeper voice than you would’ve guessed based on his angel-like features. 

“You wanna join us?” Chan asked, hoping over the back of his couch to stand behind Felix.

“Oh no, I don’t want to intrude on your hangout.” You shook your head.

Chan laughed, “No, please, intrude. Felix doesn't mind, do you?”

Felix shook his head, “Not at all. I’d love to get to know the girl Chan won’t shut up about—ow!” His blonde hair fell in front of his eyes as Chan smacked the back of his head.

You laughed, stepping through the doorway as Felix moved aside. The three of you quickly got comfortable on the couch with snacks and drinks ready for consumption on the coffee table. Chan had apparently chosen Deadpool, to which Felix loudly complained as they’d watched it not two weeks ago. But it was Chan’s week and that’s what he wanted. You didn’t mind, seeing how animated he got during each scene; quoting the funny lines (which was most of them) and smiling ear to ear through the fight scenes, was well worth it.

You paused it a little over half way through so Chan could run to the bathroom, and Felix again complained about pausing since he has seen it so many times but Chan ignored him. 

“So Chan’s told me a little but what do you do?” You ask, turning towards him on the couch.

“I’m kind of a jack of all trades at an entertainment company. Song writing, choreography, I’ll even step in as a backup dancer if they need one. I get around.” Felix shrugs.

“You model too right?”

Felix nods, “Gotta take advantage of the pretty face I was blessed with.”

Chan came back a few minutes later and you’d learned that not only did Felix and Chan frequently work together, but they’d been friends as teens in Australia. They moved to Korea at different times and ran into one another randomly at the entertainment company Felix still works for.

The three of you continued watching the movie and slowly your eyelids got heavy. Eventually your head wound up on Chan’s shoulder, cuddled into his side. You weren’t cognitive enough to notice how still he got, trying not to move as you fell deeper into sleep.

“You wake her up.”

“I’m not waking her up. She fell asleep on you, you do it!”

“I don’t want to! She looks so peaceful.”

“She’s gotta get home somehow.”

“I mean…”

“Don’t force her to sleep on the couch because you were too chicken to wake her up.”

You were jostled slightly and your eyes fluttered open.

“Hmm?” You groan, lifting your head, blinking rapidly as you readjust to the light.

“Hey sleepyhead.” Felix 

“How long was I out?” You grumbled, slowly sitting up. The realization that you were sleeping on Chan hit you abruptly, you turned to face him. He wasn’t looking at you, his ears were bright red.

“I’m so sorry,” you apologized quickly, laughing.

“N-no, it’s okay.” Chan shakes his head, laughing with you.

“I should get going.” Standing up from the couch, you grabbed your jacket from the front table and started to slip your shoes back on. “Thanks for inviting me in.”

“It was fun hanging out.” Felix said, following you to the door. “I’m glad to have finally met you.”

“You too, Felix.”

“I’ll see you around, yeah?” Chan asks as you open the front door.

“Of course.” You nodded vehemently. “See you later, Channie.”

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You don’t answer him, slipping the chains away from his wrists. They were red and raw from fighting the restraints. It hurt to see him like that; so desperate and full of rage and confusion. There was no way to comfort him, or calm him down, you just had to watch. You couldn’t help but focus on his eyes, glowing amber, a stark contrast from now—deep brown and painted with guilt and weariness. You grab the first aid kit and start dabbing ointment on the torn skin. Chan winces, sucking in a breath through his teeth, but he doesn’t pull away. He watches as you apply the soothing balm, then loosely wrap bandages around his wrists.

“Come on, let’s get you to bed.” You throw one of his arms over your shoulder, helping him stand on wobbly legs. He lets you take the lead, bringing him back upstairs and into his bedroom. You move him past his bed and into his bathroom, stripping away his shredded clothes, he didn’t seem at all shy. He lent against the wall as you turned on the hot shower. Steam slowly filled the room and you helped him into the shower.

You started out standing to the side, reaching in and rinsing him off, washing his hair. But at some point you’d gotten so wet that you slipped off your jeans and stepped into the shower. He was still so out of it that he could hardly open his eyes, the warm water rushing over his body and relaxing his muscles. You were able to more easily rinse the shampoo from his hair, the damp strands at the back of his head curling slightly, a subtle powdery fresh smell filling your nose—it was the shampoo Jeongin had gifted him. It reminded you of mornings waking up in his bed, his pillow case carrying the scent of him.

You finished cleaning the rest of him, making sure to be delicate when cleaning the self-inflicted wounds scattered across his skin. You were surprised he could still support himself, leaning heavily on the tiled wall of the shower. You dry yourself off quickly, then help Chan out and into the warm flannel. You towel him off, thankful he was conscious enough to pull on the pair of boxers you handed him before guiding him to sit on the closed toilet seat. Reaching over him, you pull an identical first aid kit out of the cabinet, repeating the same steps from before, soothing his irritated skin.

Once everything is rebandaged, you help him into his bed—pulling the covers up and watching him all but melt into the mattress. You can’t help but run your fingers over the comforter, plush and cool under your fingertips. Before you can move away Chan reaches out, gripping your wrist in his hand. It wasn’t rough, more urgent, pleading.

“Stay.” His voice was small.

You look back, eyes trailing from his hold on your wrist, up to his eyes, sleepy and somehow still full of warmth despite everything. Smiling softly, you crawl onto the bed and let him pull you on top of him. As you rest your head on his chest, Chan wraps his arms around your body, letting out a large sigh as he sinks into the plush mattress.

You couldn’t help but wonder how he’d react in the morning once he was more coherent. Felix had said he never wanted you to know about this, any of it, and now you’d seen the worst. Would he push you away? You didn't want to lose him. Chan had become such an important part of your life, long before you found out what he was. You didn’t want any of that to change.

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