the winter without.

Since I was thirteen I’ve dealt with manic depression and I had a difficult time comprehending the things that I wanted to be and I lived a very happy life and I was turning eighteen and I was doing everything I could to try to make myself feel better but I felt an absence, I felt like I needed to die. I felt like nothing existed and I felt that I wasn’t worthwhile breathing the same air as the ones I loved and my family, and then it came to the point where I started losing friends. People who had the same fucking ideas as myself but I have to be strong and I have to live my life as a continuation of theirs lost and I have to do everything in my fucking power to be the person that I can be and live my life the best way I fucking can and some days it’s so hard to fucking stand.