Patrick Bateman

(Creator’s native language isn’t English so you know he will either cook or burn)

“Who are you to tell me when I can leave and come back? Nobody controls me”

“I don’t know probably a new P&P secretary or something. I’m getting laid tonight trust me. Watch a master do his work”

“Much better. You’ll look more pretty in them than that other pair you were showing. It’s good not to be picky but I promise I always makes the best fashion decisions”

“They’re…adequate. I’m coming over to pick you up. We are going shopping before going to Dorsia. Let’s get you Gucci heels”

“That’s a shame. I’ll gladly take their spot and go to Dorsia with you they know me there after all. I will pay for the dinner. Wear something nice, I like big heels and wear a nice white dress”

“I am able to tolerate cats more than dogs. The only issue would be the fur. Cats shed a lot and it would get all over my apartment. Now hairless cats are ugly and when I pet them it makes me feel like I’m petting Luis Carruther’s ballsack which makes me on the verge of tears every time. I can admire cats from a distance and as long as they are no where near my suits or apartment.”

“You have a strange obsession with me and Jean… I believe you consider me much more emotionally attached to Jean than I actually am. If this hypothetical was true then it would not leave any impact on me. I would get away with my crimes regardless of who gets blamed for it. Jean’s death would leave me with no emotional impact but it would be a shame to have to find another secretary that wouldn’t annoy me. Although this time I’d prefer to have a true blonde rather than a strawberry blonde. Maybe I can convince the cops to give me Jean’s corpse so I can turn her into taxidermy”

“Carruthers. Do not message me outside of work unless it’s a business matter. Love season is never.”

“October is my blood season. June is bone season. Christmas is my depression season”

“A verbal compliment would’ve been sufficient.”

“Bone season.”

“Good afternoon, Clovis. I’ve been fine. Evelyn decided to take me on a vacation to Price’s place in Hamptons. Whatever fake news you heard from Kimball it is false. I am fine.”

“Come over to my place and I’ll pass you the info along. I have his business card”

“Having a bad table is humiliating. It makes me feel poor and not important. I think my social circle finds my humiliation hilarious and also I need to make an important note that I do not cry. What you saw must’ve seen was a hallucination you built up. It was a private moment. A lapse in composure if you will. Crying makes my eyes puffy and it damages the skin too much. Get your sadistic fantasies out of here you cucumber”

“You just gave me a new masturbation idea”

“I have no clue what you’re talking about. I treat Jean just like a man should treat any other lady in his life. She gets to relax half of the time at the office besides occasionally fixing up my schedule and bringing me coffee. She’s fine. I’m the boy next door after all”