All Blogs Go To Heaven

In Jr. High, I met the love of my life.

I was talked into doing a play and two girls that I would be too afraid to approach introduced themselves.  One of them looked at me like no one had before.  At the time, she wasn't in love.  She was meeting someone new who was into the same things as her.  I knew better.

Flash forward three years and my awkward Jr High body has morphed into an even more awkward shape for the next four years.  Hormones and acne pulsed through me like an electrical current that left me laughing too loudly at the wrong things.  By this time, me and this girl had gone from being an introduction to knowing everything about one another.  I knew her favorite candy (Sour Patch Watermelons), her nickname from when she played softball (Ladybug), and her undying fear of skunks.  We had become inseparable.  As is obvious, I was madly in love.  In love with her laugh.  In love with her smile.  In love.  There was one major downside.

Her boyfriend.

She was seeing this guy for a while and they were happy.  He was a great guy and I had nothing against him.  I never really saw myself as a jealous guy, but this drove me insane.  But it didn't really matter much, because we spent every move of the clock together.  We had a snow day (which was about as rare as the news reporting on good things) and spent the entire day driving around, looking at the white blanket that was on our town.  That was the first day in my life my face hurt from smiling.

Then she went off to college.  When this happened, I was in a relationship just to move past her.  Before she left, she gave me a letter that is still in my desk to this day.  In it, it said that she had smiled at me the way I smiled at her.  She listened for my laugh in a crowd the same way I did hers.  It also said that she had to forget me, to move on.  

And I let her.

For a few years, I let myself be a ghost to her.  I toiled away not being happy, not being who I wanted to be.  I didn't see it at the time, but I knew.    I always knew.

Skip ahead and I'm in a college dorm.  I'm single and going through my things when I found that letter.  That's when I messaged her.  We talked back and forth for a few days.  Then, I worked up the nerve to ask her to dinner and she did the worst thing she could have done to me.

She said sure.

Instantly, I was transported back to that geeky high school kid who listened to angst filled music and never read a book longer than 300 words.  I fretted and worried up until the moment I saw her.  Suddenly, it was as if nothing had changed.  We laughed and talked and were just happy to be with each other.  Then I kissed her.

I was tired of waiting.  All I did was wait.  No matter what would have come from that moment, I know I made the right choice.

Fast forward to one year later and I am the happiest I've been.  I am madly in love with my best friend and we watch movies in our pj's.  We share pizza's and share sodas and smile.  The best part about it is I get to see her smile all the time now.

Hey, how's it going?  I know you think you know what's going on, but you have no idea.

College is going to suck.  You're going to be stressed beyond belief and wonder what you're doing.  Stick it out.  So far, it's turned out pretty well. Be prepared for what might be the shittiest haircut of your life.  Never, NEVER go to a place that is having a sale on haircuts.  Be smarter than that.

You think you're happy, but you aren't really.  You are slowly not becoming who you want to be.  You feel comfortable where you are and no one can blame you for that, but it's shitty.  You're being taken advantage of and you are having to dumb yourself down.  Don't do that.  Change isn't bad.  I promise.  It is going to suck, but it turns out amazing.  You end up with the girl you've always dreamed of and it is amazing.  She makes you feel the happiest you've ever been.

Tebow doesn't turn out good.  He'll get picked up by the Pat's, but don't get excited.  Yankees don't do anything big, and Florida ends up sucking.  Oh, and it is hard to be a Giants fan.  

Go ahead and start buying records, that isn't just a phase.  

I'm not too much older than you, but it feels like a lifetime ago.  You're going to suck at things, but you're going to turn out great.  You'll make friends, laugh, and fall in love (real love, like, I can't even explain it)

Most of all, focus on things that don't matter.  They do.

Love,