Not Evil Phineas

How come apples are the standard for how fruits and vegetables are eaten? What makes the apple eating experience so ubiquitous? Why don't I ever hear anyone say "look at that psychopath, he's eating a raw apple like a potato, probably has a little girl locked in the trunk of that beat up old car huehuehuehuehue"????

What's the deal with evil laughs? Like I get that it makes the person seem cruel that they enjoy whatever evil scheme they're cooking up, but is it really all that funny? You never see people doing good deeds do a "do-gooder" laugh, even if it is making them feel good. Seems unrealistic, villains should dread their jobs like the rest of us.

Flo Rida seems far too insistent in trying to convince us that this is, in fact, his house and that we are welcome to it. It sounds like something someone trying to convince us to walk right into a trap would say. Play that music too loud? Why, to alert guards, perhaps? Hmmmmmm.....

Eve of course is the one who caused the human race to descend to live on Earth, but let's not forget her equally responsible partner, WALL-E.

Y'know people think it's funny that "Naruto" is the word for a fish cake, but the U.S. names their main characters things like "Monk", "Bones", and "House". So really I think that TV is just weird and we gotta name stuff funny words to remember them easier.

In LMFAO's hit 2011 song "Sorry for Party Rocking" the band repeatedly expresses their remorse for bothering others during their party rocking. However, they still continue to party rock, which implies that they aren't really sorry at all. What other lies might the band have told us, and what lies will they try to feed us next?

Can we talk about how the original Scooby Doo theme legit says "here are you" and pretends like that's a totally normal thing someone who wasn't very stoned or very extra-terrestrial would say

I like to wrap shredded cheese into two tortillas and then eat it like an uncooked quesadilla. I assume this is ubiquitous and #relatable and will accept no evidence to how this might be unhealthy.

I find the idea of skeletons to be super funny. Like vampires suck blood, zombies eat brains, and ghosts scare and possess people. Those things are pretty scary. But skeletons? They're just bones. If you're scared of skeletons I've got bad news. They're already inside you my guy. One of them has already infiltrated the stronghold. And inside man, if you will.

It’s kinda crazy how only peppers developed the evolutionary trait for being spicy. I feel like it’d work for just about everything. Like for plants it seems like it’d work for “eat me but not too much so I have some seeds for someone else” and for animals it’d work like “you can have a lick but you won’t like it I taste like spicy Indian curry.” Peppers out here hogging all the good evolution to themselves