Notes from Armageddon

Rule 80: If you have a friend with a blond mustache, he wants to touch you.

Rule 79: There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow men. True nobility lies in being superior to your former self.

Rule 78: '"Don't worry about the bitches" - that could be a good motto, because you come across people like that throughout your life.

Rule 77: I have learned that the most useful thing when it comes to love is being good with words.

Rule 76: The hardest thing to do is to be true to yourself, especially when everybody is watching.

Rule #75: Falling in love and having a relationship are two different things.

Rule # 74: Sometimes I think that the one thing I love most about being an adult is the right to buy candy whenever and wherever I want.

Rule # 73: Last Wednesday, I stupidly dropped my iPhone in the bath, and my life has sort of spiraled almost out of control.

Rule # 72: Accept who you are. Unless you're a serial killer.

Rule # 71: Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.

Rule # 70: Don't worry about failure, because failure will take care of itself. Focus on success.

Rule # 69: The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel all alone.

Rule # 68: Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa.

Rule # 67: Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.

Rule # 66: Romance is thinking about your significant other, when you are supposed to be thinking about something else.

Rule # 65: Not to have a big head about it, but people love me.