Hi, darling

So, last weekend was hardly like anything I thought it’d be. The only good day was Friday, and even then we had a grumpy moment. It’s not that Im scared of how things are going to be after we hit a year, Im scared of how I’ll handle it if anything were to go wrong by this point. This coming from the girl who seems to be self-sabotaging every step of the way. What I did was so stupid. I put everything on the line for something that would’ve just made me hate myself. You have no idea how much I hate myself for all of this already. 

Lately it feels like Im just making wrong decision after wrong decision. Im fighting with the person I can’t imagine my life without, I almost made the decision to hurt the boy who’s never hurt me. It feels like Im watching someone else living my life, and Im just standing by watching all these bad decisions be made. Im trying to get a grip of things again. I really have been feeling like such a mess ever since I’ve come back. I’m sorry I’ve let things get so bad. Im so sorry for letting things get so out of hand. I made a mistake, and Im so sorry for that stupid momentary lapse of judgement. Im trying to go back to the person you helped me become. The person who deserves you. The one who’d walk anywhere in the rain, hail or snow just to see you. The one who spent more time cuddling you instead of fighting with you. The one who only felt depressed when it was time to watch another episode of The Flash (kiddingg). 

What Im trying to say is I promise you won’t have to worry about a thing. Nothing is worth losing you over. Just please, don’t give up on me. You are the love of my life, my greatest accomplishment so far. I’ll give you all the time you need, all the love you need and more, and I’ll try so much harder to be better so you can forgive me. You have always fought for me, and I will fight for you. I want to keep exploring grocery stores with you, and saying “okay ah” to each other back and forth until we’re giggling like babies. I want a whole life-time of holding my arms out to you for a cuddle first thing every morning, and to see how excited you get when I burp around you. I just want you, Momo. Always.

You call me your princess, when you yourself are royalty in every way. Your roots have found home in my tourist heart and for that I am grateful.

Don’t forget you have a whole fan club, consisting of those little kiddos and I who love showering you with lots of kisses and hugs

Remember that you have provided so many people with amazing pictures for their instagrams, whether it’s from your camera or even just your phone. Not only are you a great photographer, you’re definitely the best looking one around

I can’t stop myself from smiling when I think of the way you haven’t given up trying to get me into The Flash. You’re such a persistent lil cutie. I’ll get into it eventually, just you wait. It’ll be like Battle of Bollywood again