when you can't say "that makes sense" I'm case they take it like "that explains what I've been thinking" when you really mean it like "I understand" bc you couldn't say "I understand" in case they took it like "I understand how you're feeling" instead of "I understand what you're saying"

crying over fake scenarios to avoid crying over the real ones >>>>

this is the longest and most dysphoric I've been in quite a while. not enjoying that too much.

me when I'm having a breakdown for the second time today bc I did something Nice and I'm Embarrassed about it ????? bc it was impulsive and unexpected ??????? and therefore my brain thinks I did it Wrong ?????? aren't you supposed to feel good when you do unexpected nice things impulsively 😭

how to have normal proportionate reactions to events

having teachers use your correct name is Such an affirming feeling like getting to put it on assignments and all that makes it feel like an actual official thing BUT absolutely Nothing can compare to having a teacher who actually USES THE CORRECT PRONOUNS TOO

kind of sad to realize I still body check habitually. I went to the bathroom today and casually checked how visible my ribs were without a second thought. it took me far too long to realize what I was even doing and why. and there are way too many other little things like that in my life. it really never goes away

y'know what fuck it I am going to post all my essay length rants about not being able to communicate. I've got too many of them they're clogging up my drafts

LMFAOO THAT ONE BODY VISUALIZER WEBSITE DOESN'T SHOW BODIES WITH A BMI UNDER 17 ANYMORE

genuinely I need jaw surgery wtf. why do I look like that

being the stray friend to a bunch of separate people who each have huge groups of close friends that you'll never meet is. a dynamic.

it's kinda funny how causal it still is after so long. just hits you like a craving the same way you'd crave cereal for breakfast. as if it's that normal still.

I literally don't have time for this. I cannot lose motivation now. I do not have time to feel like shit all day. this is some of the worst timing for this to happen again

learning what masking means has answered. a lot of questions

screaming crying ripping out my hair crawling on the ceiling foaming at the mouth clawing at the walls