I'm not dead, I only dress this way.

something about Toy Story toys is so strange to me. versions of animated characters based on real world toys, turned back into toys that are slightly different than the actual toys. slinky dog with a rubber spiral instead of a classic metal slinky. the porcelain bo peep and cloth woody turned into jointed plastic action figures. when toy story 4 came out and i saw a $30 talking action figure of forky, a character made out of a spork and a pipe cleaner, i stood in the walmart toy aisle staring at it like cameron from ferris bueller's day off staring at that painting in the art museum

I didn’t realise this had to be said until I came across a reel of someone in hospital but dear GOD if you’re in London during this heatwave do not swim in the fucking Thames PLEASE do not even touch the Thames I can name like five different ways you will be violently killed just off the top of my head STAY AWAY FROM THE THAMES and for that matter stay away from lakes/rivers in general and stick to safe, supervised areas of water such as swimming pools because the heat isn’t worth the risk of drowning, strong currents, harmful microbes, cardiac arrest with no help in sight etc. etc. PLEASE stay safe in this weather, especially if you’re not used to it!!

I love how humans are all like "NO we polluted our water! Do not swim in nature, swim in the approved chemical containers"

The undercurrent from the Thames is so strong it will literally drown you get your annoying ass tags off my post

Also, a lot of people have misunderstood this post as me saying that all lakes and rivers are bad to swim in, as opposed to the fact that there is currently a heatwave in a country that is not used to high heat and the risk of getting into complications or having a cardiac arrest while swimming with no lifeguard around is a huge cause of heat-related deaths in the UK. Seven people have already drowned in the past week. I’m not interested in “wow people in the UK are so soft everyone should swim in lakes” tags anymore because you’re missing the point.

To quote the most memorable college guest speaker I ever had, "If you're waist deep in a sea of shit and you can't see shore, try to find a sandbar where its only up to your ankles".

While "the enemy was defeated by a blorbo from man's own poetry" is the funniest way a problem was solved in tlt, I do think a good runner up is "vital information is learned because the protagonist's friend, a 12 year old drug dealer, was stealing stuff in the tunnels below the city"

this fetish stuff is getting out of hand what the fuck is word play

public defenders get behind me. i’ll defend you this time

“so you like criminals?” I LIKE THE RIGHT TO A FAIR TRIAL.