no state of mind

Maybe we’ll meet again, when we are slightly older and our minds less hectic, and I’ll be right for you and you’ll be right for me. But right now, I am chaos to your thoughts and you are poison to my heart.

it’s ok that i am too much for you; sometimes, i am too much for me too.

You tell me you are lost, a torn out page from a book found in busy streets, all lost words without a plot. But someone said they saw you dancing in your bedroom at 2:47 am, your dark chocolate hair a silk curtain, that smile of yours a flickering light. You left the neighborhood wearing red, some think it was blood, others think it was love. You left flowers on stranger’s doorsteps, you had always said you hated seeing empty houses because sometimes your mind felt like one. Someone said they saw you at a lover’s apartment, your fingers were gently combing out all the tangles in their mind while you were choking on a knot of answers for questions you wish they had asked. You were all sweetness and warmth, a cup of tea in a small coffee shop with two extra cubes of sugar. Someone said they found you in an old library in Marseille, they swore that the warmth the books gave them was the same feeling you had given them, the type of ecstasy you experience when you find something rare. They said they got lost in all those books with torn pages and worn covers, you always loved fixing people that seemed like they may never be okay again and proving us all wrong. Someone said they saw your eyes in the water at Honopū Beach, and they swear you saved them, you pushed their body back out of the water when they tried to drown themselves, a second chance, a baptism in a new religion that your love had created. Someone said they saw you walking amongst strangers, the way you walked, a long coat and painting in every step, all museum walls in your arms, and they could see all the artists you carried in your heart. Someone said they bumped into you while they were rushing to work, their shoulder left a rip in your sweater and you apologized for all the thread, all those strings you could not sever just yet, and they laughed, unable to understand how you could be so kind in such a cruel town at 7:19 in the morning. You tell me you are lost, just a poster taped to an old tree in a quiet state, but I disagree. You are everything at once, the person everyone thinks they know, the lover who can love more than love itself, a dream with a meaning you spend your whole life searching for.