loving the self loathing and self destructive urges lately

intrusive thoughts

suicidal

guess whose massive fucking depression just made comeback

been feeling really panicked and anxious and oh man is it fucking me up hoping to get pot today because until i get anxiety medication i need something to calm my nerves or im going to have a breakdown

i want to move on but you have to make it difficult as always

getting real fucking tired of your shit

never mind i know im getting worse

i think im getting worse

another monday gone by without getting help

i want to start over

bad day after bad day after bad day

i just thought there was more to life than this

it’s a stupid thing to think i know but nonetheless i srill feel as if im tricking people into liking me

miserable

im a little too detached from reality for my own comfort

i want to stop always feeling suicidal but it never fucking goes away it never fucking does it's always there