northerntrash

He knocks the skeleton down the well, alerting the orcs. The ensuing battle alerts the Balrog. Gandalf dies fighting the Balrog, which allows him to return as Gandalf the White. That allows Gandalf the power to rid Theoden of Saruman’s spell. That ensures that the Rohirrim march to help Gondor, including going past the Paths of the Dead so Aragorn can summon the uber-useful Dead Men of Dunharrow. That ensures ultimate victory at Pelennor Fields. That allows the army to live to march to Mordor and distract Sauron at the Battle of the Black Gate long enough that Frodo and Sam can destroy the Ring. In other words, total prat though he undoubtedly is, Pippin is the actual hero of LOTR. Or did I miss something?

certain dark things » luthien x thuringwethil for @tolkienrsb, collaboration with @northerntrash

Hephaestus: I don’t want to fuck a clone of myself because that would be gay sex and I am not gay.

Ares: I’m not gay, but I would actually totally fuck a clone of myself.

Artemis: I’m gay, but I still don’t want to fuck a clone of myself, that’s gross and weird.

Hermes: I don’t want to fuck my clone because my self-loathing is THAT strong.

Apollo: I’d totally fuck my clone because I want to know if I’m good in bed.

Aphrodite: I would totally fuck my clone because who would no better how to fuck ME than ME.

Hera: I’d totally do all sorts of weird things with my clone that I’d be too embarrassed to do with anyone else.

Zeus: To be honsent, fucking my clone has always been my fantasy.

Poseidon: It’s basically the same as masturbating right? So no big deal.

Hades: It’s not the same as masturbating, it’d be like having sex with your twin. Wrong and bad!

Demeter: I would not have sex with my clone because what if my clone is evil?

GIF MAKER POSITIVITY MEME ↻ day three → pastel | ineffable husbands

“I like to think none of this would have worked out if you weren’t, at heart, just a little bit a good person.”