noneofthisisreal

this shirt

He has no family and found himself homeless after allegedly losing both his job and his houseboat around 2017 - but told the Daily Mail last year he lost his job as a botanist in 2023.  

The Swede, who dresses in blazers and waistcoats, said he has never claimed benefits and has never been dependent on alcohol.  Fernstedt now seemingly lives the high life, spending his hours working out on gym bars he found in the street and showering for free in nearby Victoria - and is a stone's throw from the Royal Albert Hall.  He also immerses himself in novels by historian William Dalrymple and economists, and attends a nearby church as a practising Russian Orthodox Christian.  

 He uses the nearby church as his en-suite to the mansion, which was formerly owned by former Saudi Arabian crown prince Sultan bin Abdulaziz until his death in 2011.  Fernstedt is also showered by donations including free clothes, food and even an iPhone from his neighbours, who he claims enjoy him sharing the sought after area.  He is the only person sleeping rough outside the terraced houses of 2-8a Rutland Gate, as he believes his neighbours think 'one is none, but two is a Calais camp'. 

Behind him sits a house worth more than some small island economies. In front of him lies the pavement. Between the two is a front door. That is the joke, if you have a taste for very bleak comedy.