NonbinaryConfess

hello everyone! i want to apologize for leaving this blog suddenly; this past year i’ve been balancing life as a first-year college student as well as things related to my transition. i also wanted to announce that i’m no longer going to be a mod for this blog, and this is because for over a year now i have not identified as nonbinary and am simply a trans guy; i didn’t think it would be fair for me to continue to give advice to nb people when i am not nb. it would be wonderful to find some new mods to help run this blog, and hopefully i’ll get around to making a formal post about it soon so the blog can get up and running again soon. thanks for sticking with us all this time despite the inactivity - i’m very grateful for the time i was able to spend here as a mod, and if i’ve helped at least one person out there then that’s really all i could ask for. i will return soon with a form to fill out for anyone who would like to apply as a mod. until then, take care and thanks for everything!

yeah totally! i do the same thing, even though i’m moving away from the nb label more, but i still consider myself a nb trans guy at the moment. it’s 100% okay.

hmm i’m kind of in a similar position where i might have to explain being a guy to little kids if they ask. depending on how young they are, i think the best thing to do is just be straight forward about it and say “i’m actually [insert gender here] and you can call me [insert pronouns here].” if they’re really young kids, like 6 years old, you may need to do some analogies if you think they’re confused by what you’re saying. sometimes, depending on the way you present, you’ll be asked a question in a way that makes it easy to explain. i had a 7-year-old ask me recently if i was a boy, so that was really easy to just go “yes.” but i know things won’t always work themselves out that way, so i really just recommend being honest from the get-go and hopefully your camp sister will be understanding. (and from my experience, kids aren’t really touchy about that kind of thing and if anything will be pretty unaffected by it.) followers, feel free to give advice!

i’m not sure if this is what you’re in need of, but perhaps using breast forms or inserts would help you? here is a masterpost of resources; if you scroll down a little you’ll see info on breast forms, breast inserts, bras, and more. here’s another post about breast forms and another one about DIY breast forms. and here’s a resource of measuring bra size. i hope this helps!

yes, everyone can follow and ask questions :)

yeah the point of answering that ask was not “you can only use man-/woman-aligned and nothing else” and more “use the term that you want to and that you’re comfortable with”. i’m not denying or discrediting that those labels may be important to some people? i’m just not deep enough in that particular discussion to really say more about it. however, from what i’ve observed, i’ve noticed there is a certain fascination with people finding new ways to call things and experiences, and that isn’t a bad thing at all - i’m just saying that no one should feel bad about refraining from those labels or complying with them. that’s it, really.

we’re glad this blog has helped you! xx

you can come out to whoever you want to whenever you want to. you’re not obligated to come out to everybody and you don’t owe anyone anything - it’s about you and what you’re comfortable with :)

it’s a wonderful name! no one should be able to dictate what your name is and what you want to be called. it’s all up to you - don’t listen to them!

what a nice message! i’m so glad you’ve found this blog helpful, and hopefully you don’t feel so alone because you never are xx

this is exactly the way i feel, anon - it’s part of the reason why i’m so ready to be going off to college this fall haha. it doesn’t make you a bad person to not want to spend all your time with them. if people purposefully disrespect you by ignoring your pronouns, you do not owe them anything. i’m not insinuating to cut your family out of your life completely, but distancing yourself from them for your own comfort and well-being is much more important than forcing yourself to be around them just because you’re related to them.

i really can’t say, because i don’t know anything about your mom. sometimes people will say things that are homophobic/transphobic, but when someone they love or are friends with comes out as gay/trans, they do a little “flip around” and start respecting lgbt people. this happened with my mom, who used to say some sketchy stuff about trans people, but then i came out and all that ceased. ofc this doesn’t happen in every situation, but a good number of parents probably try to do their best to understand their kids. again, it’s a toss up and i can’t really say.

i know how you feel - pronouns are often very hard to enforce among close friends who have known you before you used your current ones. the best thing you can do is keep reminding them and let them know that it’s very important to you that they refer to you correctly. it takes time, and there will probably be some people who will never “get it” or will not comply, but at the end of the day you can choose who you want to associate with and those who do respect you are the ones who matter the most.

(Medical purposes continued) I am basically trying to say the terms male and female can be useful as long as they don’t hold gender in their meaning. (Sorry to bother you it’s just an idea that confuses me so I wanted to hash it out)

as utopian as that sounds, those terms already intrinsically have gender associated with them and there really is no way to separate them. there is no need to box people into specific categories based on what body parts they have. we don’t do the same thing for people with blond or red or dark hair. we don’t call them a specific name or categorize them like that. so why do we need to do the same thing with genitals? it’s important to think about these things so we can understand how these ideologies hurt people, mainly trans people.

if doctors really wanted to practice methods that is best for the health of their patients, they’d call body parts what they really are and treat people based on individual need. what makes someone “male” or “female”? an interesting question, and there is no real answer because it’s constructed and people have literally never agreed on it. if a trans man needed healthcare, there is no reason he would ever have to state that he is “female” or ever was “female”, because he isn’t, and he never was (but this part may vary by person, obviously). do the healthcare providers want to know if he has a vagina? then he can tell them that. do they want to know if he menstruates? he can tell them that too. the important thing to note here is that making assumptions about people’s bodies by one (1) aspect (namely genitals, which is literally all agab is based on) literally helps no one. assuming all people with vaginas have ovaries and produce estrogen is false and Bad. this applies across the board.

deconstructing these ideologies takes a lot of effort and obviously this isn’t something that everyone’s going to agree on. i don’t expect that to happen, and i don’t expect everyone in the medial profession to drop everything that society has taught them. i just find it interesting when we begin to question what that society has taught us and why we categorize people based on certain aspects, but not others. as i’ve said before, here’s a tag dedicated to this issue that contains way better explanations than mine.

(i’m not going to be answering any more asks about this topic bc i’ve been over it like 5 separate times on this blog so pls let me rest thx)

guys pls i don’t have the time for this. the characteristics we consider “male” and “female” in regards to bodies are socially constructed; that is, if an alien race came to earth they would literally have no idea why we call people with certain body parts certain things. it’s a social construct because it’s born of our society and does not exist without humans. animals do not call other animals male or female, as far as we know. these ideologies were created by humans. other examples and time and money; they are tangible, but the way in which we think about them and have conceptualized them is “fake”, so to say. i beg of you to do some research into this, it’s really not that difficult to find information on it and there are tons of people out there who could do better than i could.

you’re never too young to know your sexuality. society expects all kids to be straight by default, so if some kids know they’re straight at that age, others are old enough to know if they’re gay/bi/pan. your mom is regurgitating some pretty harmful and homophobic rhetoric that implies straight is the “natural” and the default, and that is not true. tl;dr, you’re not too young.