Skullkidd

–– You quietly listen to what he has to tell you, figuring that was the answer. But when he says he was training… did he mean running? Was he lifting weights? Or…

 You furrow your brow, tilting your head a tiny bit as you try to read him better. But the guilt on his face could mean anything, and yelling or asking bluntly could just make him want to retract more.

And yet, knowing it’s the wrong option, you pick authenticity anyway.

“You thought I’d make fun of you?” You look to him for a moment, meeting his eyes and holding the contact for a few seconds. You don’t hide the hurt, or disbelief. You’re not sure what would be worse, if he’s lying to save face, or if that’s the honest truth. What did you do to make him feel like he couldn’t come to you – to feel like you weren’t a team? 

You think back to the night of the dance, how you rested your head on his shoulder on the bathroom floor. How he looked so in his own head back in the hallway. You replay the sleepover in your head, walking by his side with a bag of cheeseburgers. You thought things were okay. 

Maybe you don’t know anything. 

“I wouldn’t have,” you tell him, quietly. “I wanted to know why we weren’t talking.”

You fall quiet afterwards, the ticking of a clock from down the hall audible even from where you’re sitting. These walls are so thin. It’s not like Leblanc, where everything is thick and sturdy, covered in dust. But at least it smells like home, despite Ryuji feeling worlds away. 

“Was it something I did?”

The silence is suffocating, and he can’t help but wonder if he’s going to have messed this up irreparably. Between his fucked up headspace and inability to voice all the words choking him like too much sea water, he wouldn’t be surprised. But the thought of losing Akira...his best friend...it makes him want to puke. Without him, he’d be nothing, would have nothing left. He breathes, brow furrowed.

“No, never, that’s not what I-” he cuts himself off, trying to keep his nerves steady, to control the words that try to flow from his mouth, “damn it.” 

He takes another deep breath, twisting the sheets in his hands, “You didn’t do anything, dude, it’s...shit I ain’t good at talkin’ about this kinda stuff, I....” 

He has to be honest about something, Akira’s hurt expression like a punch to the gut, he can’t just lie to him. He’d be the worst kind of friend then. 

“I wanna be able to stand beside you...” he starts, voice suddenly small, “but I feel like...like I’m competing with myself...it’s stupid and I know you and the others would just tell me I’m fine the way I am...and maybe this is how Makoto and Yusuke are feeling but...I feel like...I’m gonna let you down.” 

Another breath, eyes glued on the hand on his knee, “I didn’t come talk to you cause I knew I’d end up spilling all this shit but...it’s hard, knowin’ that I’m missing somethin’, and I feel like I’m just gonna drag you guys down, I ain’t as powered up as you and...I don’t want you to leave me behind.” 

The words just keep coming, and his face is hot. 

“And once I got that idea in my head I just...I couldn’t shake it...It wouldn’t be the first time. And I know you wouldn’t, I do, I just...I got in my own head and needed to blow off some steam and before I knew it I’d overdone it and I just...didn’t want you thinkin’ that I wasn’t someone you could depend on.”

She is lost in her own world, particularly fawning over the strawberry cake bits flavor, so it takes her a hot minute to notice Ryuji trying to get her attention. 

“Geez. I can’t just magically know all of your tastes.” He does have a point, though, and it’s not as if he’d have come here on his own, so she might as well help him enjoy it. 

“Let’s see… I’m guessing you’re not into the super sweet stuff?” She browses the selection, concentrating on each flavor and mix of toppings. 

“Ooh, the trail mix looks pretty good! It’s regular vanilla, but it’s got like pretzels and peanuts and stuff mixed in.”

“This is all my treat, of course.” 

“We’re teammates, and you don’t even know my tastes!?” He tries to hold a serious face, but ends up breaking into a small laugh, grinning.

“That actually don’t sound half bad, yeah, I think that’ll do just fine.” 

nomoruleskidd‌:

She collapses onto the stool and leans her elbows on the counter. “You could say that,” she sighs. She’s tempted to just lay her head down (she’s sure Ryuji wouldn’t judge), but she doesn’t.

“Anyways. It seems like you’re enjoying your work,” she says, a hint of fondness in her voice. As unlikely as it had seemed a few months ago, she has grown to appreciate Ryuji’s company. She doesn’t have to worry if he thinks she’s smart or capable. No, that sounds mean – it’s not like that, really.

He’s comfortable to be around. 

Ryuji, humming attentively, spins to grab Makoto a water and a cup of green tea as well as a little plate of pickles to munch on while she waits. 

“Sounds rough, but I’m glad you could sneak out to grab some grub. Nothin’ like a fortifyin’ bowl of ramen to keep you goin’, you know?” He smiles, propping his chin in his hands. 

“That’s the spirit… Kind of.”

It really is too hot to rib him back, so she keeps up a brisk pace until they escape into the frigid blast of the store. Sure enough, the line of flavors expands from one end of the counter to another, carrying flavors both traditional, strange, to stuff she’s pretty sure don’t even exist in their original world. 

“Now, let’s see… What should I get?” She hums as she browses each flavor carefully as if she’s combing through an ancient tome for hidden secrets. 

The store is refreshing frigid, and Ryuji takes a second to bask in the cold before getting completely blown away by the selection laid out before him. He follows as Ann starts surveying, feeling a little bit like a lost puppy. Holy shit are there a lot of flavors. 

“What the hell even is lavender?” He mumbles.

There are a couple of simpler choices, and it really does look pretty good, if absolutely overwhelming. 

@nomoruleskidd

She’s gotten the brunt of another new case, and her eyes hurt from staring at screens trying to find some semblance of a pattern in the data. Her supervisor had left long before she did, but she finds she can no longer pretend to concentrate.

She always berated her sister for working late and not taking care of herself, but now, she’s no better.

It’s too late to cook, and she’s terribly hungry. She remembers Ryuji talking about a ramen shop that he works at (she thinks she recalls seeing him deliver a bowl to a pompadoured receptionist). Ramen may be more of a guy thing, but so is kissing girls allegedly, so that doesn’t faze her.

Sure enough, Ryuji is behind the counter, grinning and watching the broth under the direction of what appears to be quite a seasoned chef. She doesn’t want to interrupt, but when he meets her eyes and his grin widens, she smiles softly in return. “Hello, Ryuji. Could I have a bowl of shio ramen? Thanks so much.”

It’s just another day on the job, though the Boss is finally starting to let him get in on some of the actually ramen making. To say he was pumped about it would be an understatement. 

He’s totally zoned in when the bell above the door signals a new customer, so it takes him a second to get to them, but he’s delighted to see it’s Makoto. It’d been awhile since he’d seen her, even longer if that didn’t include phantom thief business. Walking over to the counter he can’t help the big grin on his face.

“Sup? Hell yeah you can, comin’ right up!”

He turns back to yell her order to the kitchen, then leans across the counter. 

“It’s been a hot minute, work keepin’ you busy?”

“Oh believe me, it is. They even got weir- I mean, more savory flavors. It’s not just sweet stuff. I’m pretty sure they’ve got bacon as a topping, too.” It takes all of her willpower not to outwardly grimace at the concept. 

“Point is, you’re gonna find something you’ll like.”

If he didn’t look dubious before he sure as hell does now. 

“It tastes good, though… You put a lot of extra toppings on your ramen, right? It’s the same thing.” 

“That’s it. I’m gonna take you to this great place that’s got a HUGE selection. You’re gonna love it, trust me.” 

She hooks her arms around his and starts dragging the poor boy to his inevitable fate of ice cream Armageddon. 

“Yeah, I guess, but that’s ramen, Ramen, totally different stuff.”

“I’m cool with just van-- o-okay I guess we’re goin’ then, man, this place better be good after you’ve hyped it up so damn much.” 

“Seriously? Yay!! You’re a big help!” 

“So there’s this frozen custard place that I’ve been dying to try. It’s supposed to have a lot of toppings to choose from. But I guess that can be pretty rich, huh? Ooh! What about that little parlor down the road? The lady working the counter will sometimes give an extra scoop if she’s in a good mood. Or maybe Chiil Rock? They’ve got a new, flavor, and-” 

“Happy to help I guess.”

“Aaaaaaa, why is it so hot oooooout? I can’t take it anymore!!!” 

“Someone get ice cream with me! I’ll feel guilty if I go alone!”

“ … ” 

You stare for a moment, completely quiet as you notice the look on his face, as well as the splint his leg is in. It’s a shock, and a lot of thoughts happen at once. You should have found him like this sooner. You should have known that something was up, with how distant things were with him lately, with how sparse your hangouts had been. Somehow, you should have known to reach out to him. He lives so close, too. How easy would it have been to just knock?

You bring the bowl of ramen to his bedside, and set it down in its delivery bag with everything needed to eat it inside. You don’t answer him. You just sit down at the edge of the bed, and you don’t yell, even if you think you know what happened. Ryuji overexerted himself running, something you can see him doing trying to relieve stress. And if that is the case, it was stress he felt he couldn’t bring to you. Possibly to anyone. 

You have to wonder why, and, if it’s something you’ve done… if anything will be any different if you try now?

“What happened?”

You have to try. You speak gently, and gingerly rest your hand on his bad leg for a moment, so there’s no denying what you mean. There’s a good chance that he’ll play it off, but you want to give Ryuji the chance to explain. You want him to know he can tell you what’s bothering him.

Your eyebrows furrow. Why can’t you just say that?

“You can tell me, Ryuji.”

Akira doesn’t answer right away, and Ryuji sits up, making room for him to sit on the edge of the bed. He knows the question is coming before Akira can ask it, can read the look on his face surprisingly easily, no longer drawn up in that stoic expression of mild indifference, and it makes his heart sink. How ‘effin’ stupid was he? He shoulda just told ‘em that he’d been a dumbass. Sure they woulda worried but...not like this. He hangs his head a little, reaching up to rub the back of his neck. That soft, concerned touch against his knee has his stomach lurching. 

“I was a dumbass and strained my old injury,” he laughs weakly. 

He wants to be honest and tell Akira what happened. Why it happened. But he can’t. Not without saying more than he’s willing to admit. Not without ruining everything. So he says the next best thing. 

“I’ve been training more and I pushed it too hard...and I was kinda...well I didn’t want to tell ya’ll and get made fun of for bein’ weak...or somethin’“ 

It wasn’t a lie, at least not outright. He had been training, and he really didn’t want the rest of the group to think he was a wuss. Not that he thought they would...but that didn’t stop the fear that they’d leave him behind from echoing every time he had to stand up and limp around his small apartment, uselessly. 

“I-uh-well...I’m sorry I didn’t tell you...” 

– You let yourself relax again as Ryuji assures you that he won’t tell anyone, but he also points out that regardless of if he did, you’d be in good company. You wonder if that’s true. At least, the way things are now, you don’t think everyone would be accepting of your eccentricities. But Ann… you think she would laugh, but you don’t think she would look down on you for it. 

“You might be right,” you say, but. There’s something special about it just being between you and him. You don’t want that to change, just yet. 

Resting in the warm atmosphere, you glance over as he thanks you. It’s… a relief to hear he had fun, even if for a portion of the night you weren’t at your best. Maybe that’s okay. 

You nod. 

“I had fun too,” you say, realizing it’s going to feel strange to not part ways after this. You’re walking to the same place, after all. “Let’s do this again.”

“That’s good to hear,” Ryuji smiles, still facing the window, chin resting in his hand. He’s still curious about whatever had happened to so change Akira’s mood earlier, but he pushes the questions down. If Akira said he wasn’t feeling well, then he wasn’t feeling well. At least he seems to be feeling better, which seems a bit of a conundrum considering the impossible amount of burger he just consumed. 

It’s a bit odd, he thinks, to share such a quiet moment with their leader. Usually they were training, doing thief business and the like, but it’s oddly nice to be sitting in the gentle thrum of the diner, the world outside dusted in the fading light of the slowly setting sun. 

He shifts, finally turning to look at Akira again, a soft smile spreading over his face, crinkling into the corners of his eyes. 

“Hell yeah, We still gotta get our hands on a console of some kind,” He laughs, “The arcade can tide me over, but if I gotta go much longer without bein’ able to stay up till all hours of the mornin’ bingin’ dungeon crawlers I don’t think I’m gonna make it.” 

– You notice the falter in his step, and just figure you must have surprised him a little bit. It’s true, you’re usually not the first one to start hanging on him, but then again he’s not usually sleep drunk and insisting on staying awake. You almost chuckle as he starts challenging you, but you manage to not laugh at him directly. 

“I’m in trouble then…”

You don’t know any cool places yet. Okay, you know one or two. Your wanderlusting ass can’t be tamed, even by a forty hour work week. But …. you’re not sure if Ryuji would call what you’ve found ‘cool’. 

“I changed my mind. Have mercy, arcade king.”

“You bet you are!”

He lets out a scoff of a laugh, clapping his arm around Akira as they continue to walk. 

“No way man! You can’t back outta the challenge now, ‘sides, I wanna see what kinda cool places you’ve found,” He grins, thumbing his nose with his free hand. 

It was halfway through his shift at work that he realized that it was his birthday, and it had brought his work to a halt. A deep sinking feeling staring in his stomach. He’d done a good job distracting himself from the homesickness, but today it weighed heavy on him, knowing that he’d go home to his small apartment and his mom wouldn’t be waiting there for him. If they weren’t in this shit hole, would he have told the rest of the gang? Maybe brought them over for cake? His mom probably would have been happy to see him hanging out with friends again. 

The boss lets him leave early and he stops by Kiki’s bakery on his way home, buys himself a single slice of cake, and heads out. At home he grabs a fork and sits on the floor as he takes out the small pastry box. Every bite makes tears well in his eyes. Worst birthday ever. He thinks with a bitter smile. But at least his mom didn’t have to see him like this, dealing with bullshit crushes, injuring himself, not going to school. She’d be so disappointed. 

He lays back on the floor with a deep sigh, neck twisting when he notes a gift wrapped package beside his front door. He groans loudly. Not this bullshit again. The stupid ‘effin high council with their shitty gifts at it again. He leaves it a while before giving into curiosity. At least he knows it’s gonna be awful.

– You watch Ryuji fall apart at your joke, eyes a bit wide at how loud he does so for a moment, before allowing yourself to fall into a warm, easy smile. He’s just warm, and good, hanging on your every word like you were actually going to tell him the secret of eating a dumb amount of hamburger. 

He calls you a doofus, and it doesn’t feel like an insult. It feels the same as being told you’re something amazing, with how he says it. You rest your head on the back of the booth, even if you’d rather fall a few inches to the side and take the space on his shoulder. He’s actually red from laughing, and it’s hard to not think he’s cute. You don’t resist that thought. You’re allowed to admire him. You’re allowed that much.

“Guess you’ve figured me out,” you say, looking up to him for a few more seconds before closing your eyes for a few seconds. You’re so full. 

“Promise you won’t tell anyone? They might not trust my leading skills.” 

You smile at him. “I’m trusting you.”

Ryuji leans back, folding his hands behind his head as he finds his breath again. His ribs hurt he’d laughed so hard. 

“Dude I ain’t gonna tell nobody, ‘sides I don’t think they’d believe me unless they saw it themselves...still I don’t think they’d question ya, have you seen Ann eat sweets? Girls a maniac. You’re our leader, insane burger eatin’ and all,” He grins, “But I got your back, It’ll be our secret.” 

It feels a bit incredible to be told that: I’m trusting you he lets it echo in his mind, holding on to the words. He shuts his eyes a moment. Strange how just a few words have him feeling so incredibly warm and wanted. He finds himself thinking again that he’s glad Akira is here. 

“Hey, say, Akria...” he trails off, stretching his arms before leaning over the table to slurp loudly from his soda, “Thanks...for invitin’ me to hang today.” 

– You can’t help but smile a tiny bit, as stoking the flames of Ryuji’s competitive side not only works, but in spades. His walking is a little off though, which makes you think he might be a little more tired than he’s letting on. You hesitate, briefly, but decide to wrap your arm around his shoulders. It’s completely within the lines of a bromantic gesture, so it should be fine. 

“Loser pays for ramen… for a month,” you say, pausing not because you needed time to think about how long, but because you almost said ramen dates. Close call, but you nail it. 

“Also, you have to take me somewhere cool.”

You just want to see what he comes up with. 

Ryuji’s steps falter for a moment at the warm arm that wraps around his shoulders loosely. His heart thuds in his chest, but he keeps walking, face warm. It’s not like he can just shrug Akira’s arm off, and, if he’s being honest with himself, it’s nice. Not because it’s Akira and it’s warm and they’re so close, but because it keeps his tired steps steady. Yeah. That’s why it’s nice. Honest my ass. He ignores the gentle flush creeping up his neck, and the hammering of his heart. Tomorrow. Tomorrow he’s pulling back. So today he’s just gonna let it happen. 

“You’re on man!” He jumps in, perhaps too quickly, “You mean you’re gonna have to take me somewhere cool! Cause there’s no way in hell I’m losin’ dude!” 

Akechi hadn’t told Ryuji about his birthday. But he did have a very active social media presence that Ryuji wasn’t not following, and so, while scrolling through instagram at work he happened upon several, if not MANY birthday wishes. It kind of stung that all these randos knew and he didn’t. But he doesn’t let that get to him as he swings by the little bakery after work. 

That weird kid that says she’s some kinda witch is working and refuses to take his money when she finds out the cake is for Akechi’s birthday (she also quickly draws up a voucher for free pancakes as a birthday present, which Ryuji promises to deliver).

It occurs to him that he should maybe also get him a present but...what would he even get him? Akechi has stupid expensive taste anyways, he probably couldn’t even afford something he’d like, he thinks with a sigh. He makes another stop to pick up snacks and party favors (hats, candles, etc), and nothing catches his eye. He think about copying Kiki’s idea but decides against it. He had to come up with something on his own...maybe it’ll hit him on the walk.

Bag of snacks in one hand and cake in the other, he finds himself outside of Akechi’s apartment without any clue what kinda birthday present to get him. Too little too late he sighs, hanging his head. Maybe this was all a bad idea. Maybe Akechi didn’t wanna celebrate. Maybe there was a reason he hadn’t told them all.