i need to be shot

reading dnis is a great way to learn words that no one has ever used and might not even be real

saying "it's okay. I'm only human" before glancing at a nonexistent audience with a slight smirk and a twinkle in my eye (the twinkle is an asterisk) (when you go to read the footnote attached it just says "in the beautiful garden of his imagination he is also another thing as well")

If there's sexual abuse subtext no there isn't, if there's allusion to sexual abuse you're ruining it for everyone else by talking about it, if there's a metaphor for sexual abuse you're reading too far into it and it's actually a metaphor for anything more palatable, and if there's on-screen sexual abuse? Well that's exploitative torture porn, of course.

I’m soooooo embarrassed. My lord told me “good night,” but I thought he was calling me a good knight, and, well, you could hear it clink against my codpiece.

i wonder how many they'll need

i hesitate even to speculate

oh my god.

Hey guys you should totally get into this thing i like. Yeah it's mid at best. It also aged poorly. You'll get nothing out of it at all. You'll like the idea of it more than the actual thing. But at least only takes half your natural lifespan to finish it