You Only Nobu Forever

Oh how delightful, there seemed to be a ruckus going on outside. Fortunately for everyone involved the Boss has seemed to taken interest in whatever may be going on. A big part of that is due to the ever-so recognizable sound of a BB gun being fired. Ah, memories. He can recall using one at an early age when his mother began showing him firearms. If it wasn’t for her he wouldn’t be the skilled marksman he is today. Though he certainly still has plenty to learn.

But enough nostalgia, there’s a commotion that needs to be investigated. And oh boy is it sure something. Running about the area seemed to be miniature versions of that odd girl who claimed to be Oda Nobunaga. In addition to that was someone who strangely resembled her. Twins? Doubtful. He can’t remember anything from what a certain eye patch-wearing weirdo told him of the historical figure. As far as he was aware Nobunaga had no twin.

But he, or rather she did have many brothers.

“ Oi! The fuck is goin’ on out here? If you’re gonna start doing target practice then take it somewhere else. ”

“Wait! Waitwaitwaitwaitwait—!”

The noodle-shaped lad in the unimpressive hat ran to intervene, but several of the Nobus were already scattering.

“No! Come back!” But he could only go so many directions at once (one, to be exact). While he was able to corral a few, plenty got away, their escape paths marked by the sounds of nobunobu and the occasional BB gun going off in the distance.

Hopefully they’d be back by dinnertime.

Nobukatsu looked at the (much cooler than him, was that a neck tattoo?) man who’d come to investigate.

“Ah–Nobukatsu, well met.” How long has it been since they’ve seen one another? He can never seem to keep track of time in this city. Regardless, it’s good to see him so chipper compared to last time when he was being talked down to. “Is that so? I’m glad to hear it. I told you that you’d make a fine leader in place of your sister, after all. I truly meant it.”

Before he has any time to properly react or even show interest, a pamphlet is forced into his hands. Curious, he looks at it. That Nobukatsu is so well that he can hand out things like this to people…how amazing. As Nobukatsu explains just how the business is run, the smile on Gawain’s face slowly begins to fade. This…does not bode well.

“…Nobukatsu. Did you come up with this plan by yourself? Or was it someone else’s idea and you thought that it would benefit both of you, so you agreed?”

“Mhm! I started it a while ago, when my Sister got Nobuzon going and I thought ‘a delivery business should have something to deliver!’ And then, ‘wouldn’t it be great if I could get recruits to recruit more recruits?’ But I’ve only really started trying to make it a name since I took over…”

Not everyone was as excited about essential oils as Nobukatsu was, and he was barely excited by them at all. But that hardly mattered when Gawain’s point was sailing right over his head.

“You’d be one of the first to sign up, which means you’d definitely be making a big profit. With this kind of thing you really have to get in on the ground floor.”

He tried to turn his smile up a little harder since Gawain’s seemed to be falling.

A bullet whizzed by his head, clipping one of Nobukatsu’s long locks of hair.

“The Nobus got into something a little... funky! And... and they’re just... they’re working it out of their system! Some of them are feeling, um... a little... paranoid...”

nobunobu

“Gawain-san!” Nobukatsu waved excitedly from the other side of the street.

The look of excitement didn’t even leave his face as he crossed traffic to get to the shining knight, despite the cars honking at him.

“I’ve been hoping we’d meet again. Things have gone so great since I took became head of the Oda… this time, anyway. I thought I’d thank you with the opportunity to join OdaBoe.”

The pamphlet was thrust into Gawain’s hands before anyone could say ‘no.’

Ah, there it was. Nobunaga couldn’t even say she was that surprised. Even if she oddly hadn’t expected the response, she’d already subconsciously braced for the near tackle from her younger brother’s hug. She gave him a bit of an awkward pat on the back, a chuckle escaping her from Nobukatsu’s pestering.

“I was only just summoned today. I must say that whoever did it did a terrible job of it, too.” she replied, unaware that she wasn’t exactly summoned.

At the very least the apartment came with those new ‘washing machines’. So many tears. 

“Only today?”

The question took him off guard enough that he relaxed his grip on his older sister.

“I’ve been here for… a year? Two years? It’s fuzzy… I remember being here for a year or two, but I also remember living in your room in Chaldea...”

He rubbed his hands on his face to try and wipe away the rest of the tears as they finally slowed. His eyes were still rather red, as well as the rest of his face, but at least he wasn’t actively crying, only leaking.

@nobunagastan

“Oh, you’re here too?” 

She had masked the inklings of rage she still had for her brother here. She had to be nice, considering how she was summoned to this ‘Spirale’ seemingly without a Master. This required not making enemies all willy-nilly-like. She had to gain allies, first. What better ally than your own family, right? So she kept that useless BB rifle strapped to her side, brow raised with arms crossed. The last she remembered, he had at least helped with the last one… Right? That pandemonium was rather hazy in her mind. Did she hit her head? Probably. 

“Did you get summoned recently, too?”

His eyes started watering as soon as he saw her.

“SISTERRRRRRRR!!!!!”

While ordinarily all caps and any more than two exclamation points was excessive, it was the only way to capture the energy of Nobukatsu running full tilt at his older sister and slamming into her with glee.

"No."

“This isn’t a trap, is it...?”

“Does that mean... I shouldn’t wear the mascot costume?”

“What in the worlds is Pla-ic?“

“They always see yee haw, but will they ever ask me…..Haw yee doin pardner?“

“Why is it always yee haw but never yaw hee...”

“Incominnnnnnng!”

Right after his spiel, a flash of red dashed to the counter, grabbed one of the toothpicks, and used it as a pole vault to launch herself in the air in a flurry of ruffles and skirts. Or she would’ve, if the wood didn’t snap mid-jump.

“W-whuu–wahhh—”

“–aaAHHHH—–SPLAT.”

“…….”

Five seconds later, Mary Sue picks herself off the ground and the broken remains of one (1) oversized cash grab to pick beef with the seller.

“Hey, what’s with this shoddy merchandise?”

“I demand a refund!” 

Not that she’d paid him yet, but free money was free money!

At first he’d been mad, then, as she’d fallen on her face, he’d laughed along with the Nobus.

But when she demanded a refund, he snapped back into business mode.

“H, hey! That was stolen properly that you just broke! You should be refunding me! Or… I mean, paying for it in the first place!”

“You were just going to run off with it if it hadn’t broken, anyway!” He picked up one of the novelty toothpicks to point at her dramatically, like a saber (lowercase, not class Saber).

“Are you having a hard time popping balloons? Maybe they’re just out of reach sometimes and your arms are too short? OdaBoe has an easier way for you!”

Today’s sale: