one of the drunks

paris: anytime, babe!

paris: i overheard it from a few gals at the bar and nearly lost it

paris: which would have been awful given i was making drinks

noah: i swear to god the things you hear while working

noah: which i'm glad you texted me

noah: I'll see you tonight, babe.

noah: i'm closing with ya

paris: bc

paris: they were stuck up cunts!

noah: OH

noah: 🤣🤣

paris: i got a joke for you

paris: 3 tampons walk by and don't say hi

paris: why?

noah: uh.............

hearing noah say he couldn’t even remember when he took a shower last brought a frown to the woman’s face. she felt so bad for him, but there was really nothing she could do to bring him out of his funk but sit there with him and offer a shoulder for him to cry on if he needed it. but regardless she was willing to be here with noah until he kicked her out or until paris at least felt like he was alright enough to be alone. paris put on a hard front and acted like she didn’t care how people felt but the truth was, she was a giver and she did take care of and gave to the people she cared for the most. and who knew that someone she’d never even met before until she got to san amore would be one of those people. paris let noah get in bed as she set the basket on the bedside table for him and then she got in the bed beside him. “i didn’t exactly give you much of a choice to see me, did i?” paris asked and smiled softly. “look, you don’t gotta apologize for anything, noah. i mean that. i just wanted to come by and bring you some stuff to make things a little easier if possible.” she said softly. “and i didn’t tell you i was coming by, and trust me. my brother isn’t even sad and your house is like, shangri la.” she said and giggled a little. leaning down, paris pressed a kiss to noah’s cheek. “and i wanted to be sure you were okay, you know? i don’t like knowing my best friend is dealing with this all on his own.”

“I’m not mad that you’re here either--for coming over,” Noah reassured her with a small smile as he turned over in his bed to face her. Noah hadn't taken his medication in maybe a week and he finally started to take it again yesterday when he remembered and had the energy to. He knew he’d be better once his medication started to get into his system. Hey-- he got up to answer the door for her. Literally little accomplishments like this made him know that he was starting to feel like himself again. It was just a process. “I appreciate the basket I really do. I probably won’t get to it today but I’ll get to it soon. Or whenever my appetite comes back,” he said assuring her. “Your brother’s river right? I met him briefly down by the lake in the park. I told him we were just good friends. It was awkward,” he managed to tell her. A smile then appeared on his face as she placed a kiss on his cheek. “I’m not as okay as I want to be but slowly but surely I’ll get there,” he mumbled as he sunk into his pillow again.

“no need to apologize, babe.” paris assured him as she came inside. and it was a bit of a mess, but paris had to say she was just glad that it wasn’t worse. “and it’s not even that bad. i fully expected to walk into a hoarding situation upon arrival so this is way better.” she said playfully. “i got snacks and i worked hard on this killer basket, so you have to say it looks a little cute.” though said basket was just a storage bin with a big bow on it. but the thought was what counted. she wiggled it his way and then asked, “i wanna put these where they’re at least in arm’s reach, so show me where you’re hiding out.” she said softly. paris hadn’t ever been depressed, incredibly sad and hurt, sure. but she always had energy to get up and do what she needed done, but this wasn’t the case for noah. and paris was just trying to make him feel as normal as he could in this situation. “i also didn’t know if you were showering, and if you aren’t you will be before i leave today. but, i can’t stay here all the time so i did bring some dry shampoos, those little breath strips, some gum, deodorant all that stuff.” she rambled on. even if they weren’t fucking, paris still wanted to take care of her best friend because that’s what friends do. and if the shoe were on the other foot, she knew noah would be there for her too. 

When Noah saw the basket Paris had made he smiled a little bit--as much as he wanted to be thankful she was here, his mind wouldn’t let him. “It’s cute. Thank you.” He managed to tell her with a smile. This is why they were close friends. She still managed to make her way here even when he told her not to. “Well, that would be the bedroom.” As they walked over to his bedroom he listened to her go on about self-care and what not. “I’m not even going to lie when I tell you I’ve completely forgotten about showering.” It’s funny because as gross as it was--showering was the least of his worries.  He wasn’t leaving the house--he didn’t even get out of bed to go to his appointment with his psychiatrist in the morning, and he never misses an appointment. Noah was not going to work or socialize with anybody--except Paris of course, which was not planned at all. He kind of felt guilty in a way because he should have had the place cleaned up or he should have showered. He plopped back onto his bed once they walked into his room and wrapped himself into his blanket. “Sorry, you have to see me like this,” he mumbled into his pillow. 

“well, that makes me feel alot better. it’s still kinda scary to think about though, especially because you never know how people aregonna respond with alcohol, you know?” she asked and shrugged her shoulders some. “but i trust you, and i can’t let fear hold me back from going into something that could be good for me, right?” she asked and shrugged her shoulder as she finished up her wings. they were so good and paris was definitely happy she stopped in for lunch. hearing the comment about the couch, paris laughed and said, “noah, you’re already irresistible, you keep teasing me with comments like that i dunno if i’ll be able to be around you without wanting to jump you behind the bar.” she said in a dramatic little tone before she giggled. maybe she was exaggerating a bit but regardless noah definitely was a great lay. “yeah?” she asked, beaming as she hopped off the bar stool and made her way behind the bar. paris had never properly bartended before, but this could be exciting. and she was nervous, but in a good way because she was excited to learn. “honestly, i’ve got no clue what i’m doing. when i bartended parties with my mates and all back home it was pouring half a cup of vodka or gin into a cup and then a lil bit of cranberry juice. so this is totally new for me.” she said and laughed some as she tucked her hair behind her ear. “what’s the most difficult drink you’ve ever had to make?”

“no, totally. I sometimes see the nicest people come in and then they just turn into complete fucking assholes and I’m just like...what the fuck just happened? It’ll grow overtime--you’ll stop giving a fuck when you see people acting like pricks and assholes because you know you have more power over them when you’re the one working.” Noah truly had high hopes that Paris was going to do well in this place with him. He gasped and held his hands over his heart, “Me? Irresistible??? Baby you’re making me blush,” he said, joking with her. He gave her a smile as he watched her walk over to him behind the bar. “Okay here’s my first advice. You’re not going to know half the fucking drinks people come at you with. Some people like to be as creative as fuck. Especially girls who come in with their friends and they’re just like ‘okay mix alcohol A, B, C, and D together--and then can you mix it with sprite and then add a lime’ something along those lines. Half of the time you’re going to be like ‘what the fuck’ in your head and that is totally normal, babe.” Noah actually had fun teaching. He was in his element and that’s what made him happy the most--and of course, Paris made it much more fun. “Which brings me to your next question-- the hardest drink I ever made.. was trying to recreate this drink that this guy wanted. It was a mixture of 8 different types of alcohol mixed with soda water. I had to get the ratio correctly. The first time I gave it to him when he asked I completely fucked up. I got it on the second try but that was out of complete luck.”

“Yeah, seemed pretty nice when I met her. Got me to try vegan scones. Wasn’t bad at all” he nodded at the description, flashing a smile. He chugged, listening to him.  “But, I mean. She probably knows how you are…knows it’s not personal” he reasoned, closing his arms over his chest, looking at Noah seriously. “Mm, you’re pretty shit sometimes, but you’re a good dude. Bad people aren’t that self-aware. Maybe an apology and some flowers will go a long way”.

“Ugh--her scones are my favorite--along with the cupcakes she makes. To die for.” Noah took a sip of his beer as he nodded in agreement to Johnny, “she knows how I get and that’s the worst part--she’s always helped me. She helped me more than I ever helped myself. I told her I need to learn how to help myself, but, I don’t know. I tried getting her flowers to tell her that we could start being friends but she took as if I’m seeing some other girl--which isn’t true..somewhat.” He then sighed, “I had sex with my friend Kirby--which wasn’t planned but you know, my dick has a mind of it’s own all the fucking time, and we fucked,” he explained, “that’s when I fucking realized I’m a piece of shit that needs to get his life in order. I keep blaming myself for everything--and I really don’t want to drag her into that if I’m still doing that to myself you know? I came here to better myself and fuck--I’m nowhere near done with bettering myself.” That felt good to kind of get a little ranting session done. He took another sip of his beer, “Thanks for dealing with me dude. You’re a good dude too if you didn’t know that,” he replied giving his friend a smile. He then laughed, “what’s new with you, Johnny?” he asked, “I feel like I just ranted my entire month to you. It’s your turn.”

“ uh, well i’m a florist, so i get a whole different species of difficult customers; mostly brides or influencers that want shit for free.  —  i honestly wanted to go into the police though, maybe one day. ” she said, hopeful, but that was a far off dream that her current position wasn’t going to allow. “ thank you, is it inappropriate if i’d take a bow? ” she quipped, kinda chuckling at her own expense. “ well now, you’ve got big penis and it’ll either save you a lot of trouble or cause even more them. it’s kinda 50/50 honestly. ”

"Well damn, how is that breed of customers?” he asked her. “We had a bridal party in the brewery a few months back and they demanded to get many rounds of free shots and I was like ‘okay congratulations and all but like I need money’ - and they were so upset,” he explained with a chuckle. “Anything in particular that made you want to go into the police for? If you don’t mind me asking. My pop was in the police force. He always had the best stories to tell me growing up. Now he’s living his best life being retired and drinking all day.” Noah smiled and shook his head, “no not at all--bow all you want darlin’. It’s definitely going to be a 50/50 type of deal most definitely. You never know in the alcohol industry. People will surprise you. Especially the type of tolerances I see nowadays. ”

paris: oh, babe 🥺

paris: would you like some company?

paris: we don't have to talk or anything.

paris: but i know that i kind of feel better when i've got people around, even if it's just to sit in silence

noah: i don't want to drag you into this babe

noah: it's best i be by myself right now

noah: give me a few more days

paris: https://i.imgur.com/3nDhuXq.jpg

paris: what's wrong?

paris: did you dip into the boneless wings again? i told you don't do it

noah: just tired.

noah: I’m not myself right now.

paris: hey stranger!

paris: where are you hiding out when i need you the most?!

noah: [ read 11.50am ]

noah: [ sent 4:39pm ]

noah: hey sorry

noah: not feeling well

Boss: "You're not coming in /all week/? You okay?"

Noah: "Doctor's orders." (A lie)

“ thank you, thank you, i’m very proud that i had the self awareness to get out of bartending when i did, because truly i sucked at it and i’m honestly way too petty, ” she admitted, throwing her hands in the air as a gesture of that fact. “ like literally, how hard is it to know what you want!? bartenders are not fucking telepathic, and y’know it’s always the rudest customers. like it’s always the ones who come in huffing and puffing, just exclaiming; ‘ make me a drink. ’ and you’re like ‘ what drink..?’ then they scream at you ‘ just make me anything. ’ and my petty ass is like ‘ okay dickhead, big penis for you, enjoy getting thoroughly wasted. ’

“what do you do now, Nina? I don’t think I’ve ever asked,” he asked her curiously. Still to this day, Noah wonders if he wasn’t doing bartending--what would he be doing right now? It’s scary to think about. “You are truly a genius. Bless your soul,” he stated in reply to her with a chuckle. “I wish I was that creative. Literally, I make them something with tequila and call it a day.”

“ okay, i’ll tell you the origin story, ” she paused, letting out a little wheezing chuckle. “ so, i thing not many people know, i tried my hand at bartending when i first arrived in san amore. i despised it as a career choice for me, it’s probably very fun when you have a passion for it. i hated being hit on constantly by drunk dudes and most of all i absolutely hated when people said: ‘just make me anything’ and offered no further explanation of what their preferences are. that’s where big penis comes into play. it’s a shot; 1/3 sambuca, 1/3 tequila and 1/3 bacardi razz.  —  it’s truly malicious compliance at it’s finest. ”

Noah nodded his head as he enjoyed every second of this so-called ‘big penis’ origin story. “okay I have two things--one, proud of you for getting out of bartending. Two, I’m going to make that drink from now on when people tell me ‘just make me anything’ because it literally drives me the fuck crazy,” he agreed with her with a laugh, “like how hard is it? You’re the one who decided to come and drink. I don’t know what you’re in the mood for!”