so, Iām laying here & this thought occurred to me
I canāt remember the last time I could stomach wasting time on some crummy netflix series. but most days itās all I can look forward to besides the little sleep I have been able to get
your name seems to pop up a lot lately, or maybe Iām just looking for it subconsciously..Iām sure other people even notice me hold my breath every time I hear it. Iām ashamed of my love for you. thatās the first time Iāve ever allowed that thought to come out so honestly
I donāt regret anything, but Iām so paralyzed that I couldnāt (canāt) accept how much it hurt me the way it all played out
Iāve given myself a grace period. I try skating through my days on the surface because Iām afraid of what lies beneath. what if it tears me apart? I donāt want to rebuild, I donāt want to start over
it always feels like Iām constantly in transition between pulling apart & coming together, but itās so difficult for me. I donāt think Iāve ever truly learned how to navigate this pain, itās reoccurring & each time I feel it I hear this childish scream from inside āwhy!ā āwhat could I have possibly done to deserve this!!ā
it takes more than I probably even understand to hold it all together day to day. some days I want the whole world to see my ugly, my pain..others I canāt even imagine what they might think seeing as I havenāt even been able to face it myself
germansingergirl
areudirty
romaincrisis
ellievsbear
theartofmadeline
baratheonpilled
2087
