bloody valentine

I may have made them run around the field a few… dozen times in a week. And then told them they couldn’t take a break until they made a goal off of me.

Might as well have signed your own death certificate there, eh man?

I regret making this soccer camp year round. If one more lad or lass kicks the ball at my face on purpose well… a random ball might just fly right back at them out of the sky. 

Or you could ask why they seem to be aiming for your face... Did you make them run too much or something? Jesus fuck.

“if i have to listen to my mom talk about one of her ‘nightly adventures’ one more time, i swear to fuck, i’m going to projectile vomit all over everything she owns. it’s just - fucking disgusting. i can’t take it anymore.”

“Being her child means you consider gouging out your ears or worse daily. Fuck, she’s so gross. One of these days Xy is gonna tell her about herself even worse than usual and it’ll be fuckin’ a1.”