oli 🌿

He said I think am in love with you ❤️

Not my best work, but I didn't wanna stress over every little detail and I enjoyed myself

Just two silly boys in a silly Polaroid 💕

Disclaimer: You can headcanon this all you want I just disagree!

Noel doesn't want to be A girl, he wants to be THAT fucked up girl. He invented a character that he romanticised and wanted to be. His monologue was about how he wanted 'bad love', quoting that those who have 'never felt the ecstasy of betrayal know nothing of ecstasy at all'. He wants to hurt, just to feel something.

Noel was bored, poor, and lonely. He longed for love. I think people miss the idea that Noel is a commentary on what under representation/misrepresentation of marginalised communities does to the people in those communities. He says that he was the only gay man in his school. Gay men are not properly represented in media, so the ones he saw in film/TV were probably oversexualised and sidelined. He believed that he had to move to another country to achieve his dreams of love (though he never explicitly states that as being why he was saving up to move to France, but given that he is 'the most romantic boy in town' and is very fixated on romance we can only assume).

To me, it seems like he internalised the idea that straight people get to have relationships whilst he stood by and watched, playing into the twink persona to be more digestible to the small town people that surrounded him. So, he wanted to be the girl that all the boys wanted. He wanted to be something more than the guy who works at the Taco Bell. He submerged himself in this world where he was fuckable (because he was a ruthlessly horny teenager) and attractive to men, and, to him, that was a woman whom they could use (a further implication towards Noel being intensely influenced by the media he consumed, since his monologue is, like, 50% about a movie he likes). He doesn't want to be a woman, he wants to be Monique Gibeau.