Niramie

To date him is like a dream come true. He looks close enough to a human that you can just pretend that he is, and not a man-eating monster. He's a perfect gentleman and is so eager and sweet, albeit clumsy and stilted at times because of the culture clash.

But even when you claimed to love and accept him when he showed you his true appearance, he would still remain awkward and distant at times for seemingly no reason. But why? You said that you don't care about him being a killer or a monster! You like that he's a monster, human men are disgusting anyways and monsters are way sexier.

You also like that he's a virgin. He's saved himself for you. All he'll know is you and your touch. He'll have nobody else to compare to. He's so strong and handsome, and hung too. You want to have primal sex with him, where he marks you up with bites and scratches and ruts into you like an animal.

He says he doesn't want to hurt you. He feels uncomfortable. He'd rather take it slow and gentle. You reassure him that you're not that fragile. You know that he has darker urges after all. You've heard his ramblings. It doesn't matter that those are only intrusive thoughts, he should give into them because you like it. And clearly he likes it too, why else would he say those things if he didn't mean it?

You notice that he has no boundaries. He's a doormat emotionally and will let you trample all over him. He'll blame himself or everyone else if anything goes wrong, even if it's your fault. You find it odd but don't really think about it too much. It's just a part of his devotion.

You ask him questions about himself, but he's being dodgy and keeps trying to turn the topic back to you. It doesn't matter what he likes, he insists. He wants to please you. It's endearing at first, but it's becoming annoying. Is he trying to hide things from you? Doesn't he trust you? It was upsetting, to say the least.

You point it out the next day, how it was hurtful that he kept things from you. Panicking, he tells you everything you want to know. You learn about his past and his trauma. You now know why he wants so desperately to keep you safe.

But one name stood out to you.

"Who was Columbina to you?" Taken aback, he stutters out that she was just somebody he cared about a very long time ago. Oh. He wasn't as inexperienced as you thought. He liked somebody else before you. You wonder if he sees his dead girlfriend in you.

It makes you feel insecure. Wasn't he supposed to be devoted to you? How can he claim to have moved on if he still fights with Harlequin over what he did to her and the other troupe members keep telling the story of her demise? You start to see traces of her influence everywhere in the circus. Columbina had made Pierrot into what he was today. She had convinced them to trust the ring leader. What a bitch.

You were better than her. You had him tell you that too, which he does.

Things go back to normal after that. You both avoid mentioning her. Pierrot is still as dedicated and devoted as ever, though he keeps seeking reassurance that you love him still and won't abandon him.

"Where else am I supposed to get a monster boyfriend?" You joke and his smile lightly wavers before fixing itself. In a small voice, he points out what the name of his species is, but you can't even hope to pronounce it or remember it, foreign as it was, so you ask if you can just keep calling him a monster. He nods silently.

He tells you a bit more about his heritage, about how he grew up in Brazil. It was confusing that he spoke Portuguese, you thought they spoke Brazilian over there. Then again, you hadn't known the difference between Mexico and Brazil either. All these Spanish speaking countries were a jumbled mess in your brain. At least his accent was cute.

But you were starting to get bored. You were only human after all, and you needed to socialise with other beings. So you urge him to go on dates with you at various public locations. He couldn't speak during that time, but that's fine. You enjoyed his presence still and the fact that you got to talk uninterrupted without having to worry about engaging with him. You almost felt like a normal couple!

The other troupe members are still wary of your presence, even after all this time. Even Harlequin is getting snappier with you, as if you did something wrong. You chalk it up to him being jealous that you chose Pierrot over him. He was so gross. You wish he'd have been the one who got eaten instead. But then again, Columbina would be alive if that were the case....

Maybe he should've simply starved to death instead. A fate befitting of a sleazy sexual offender like him. What a manwhore. You can't believe the circus still keeps him around considering how awful he is. One could say that he put the freak in freak circus, and not in a good way.

You've noticed that all of the monsters are generally unpleasant to be around. All except for Pierrot. He was one of the good ones. Things were still perfect with you two. Err, well, except that Pierrot isn't as quick to demand your attention anymore. Sometimes, you had to initiate things, which was jarring. You were used to him doing everything. He seemed to be getting rather... sluggish? Lethargic? Was he feeling okay?

You urged him to go to the Doctor, who deduced that he had burnt himself out. Pierrot was mortified by the news. How could he have ever gotten tired of being with his love? He went into denial and kept pushing himself. He had to be perfect. He had to be. He was nothing without you.

The shift in dynamic presented by his burnt out state was hard to adjust to. You didn't know how to take it or what to even do. You wanted to help him, you just didn't know how. He was an emotional mess as he couldn't reconcile with the guilt and shame of his perceived failure.

Was his love not endless after all? Why did he not have more to give? Why was he so useless? He didn't deserve you. To look at you became painful, knowing his own weakness. So he avoided you at first, until you insisted that you two should talk.

You tell him to stop trying to do everything all the time by himself, that he can depend on you too. He says that he doesn't know how to stop. You ask him if he needs anything. He insists that he just needs your love. But no matter how affectionate you are, it doesn't cure his burnout.

Given Pierrot's recent depressive episodes, you were starting to fear for his mental health and asked if maybe you should take a break for his sake. The moment the word "break" leaves your lips, he pins you down with a wild look in his eye. "No. Not now, not ever. You are mine." The way he growled at you left you feeling hot and bothered and he recognises how affected you are by scent alone. So he finally gives you what you want and fucks you hard and fast. Your moans of encouragement spurs him on until you both hit your peak.

Good news, the rough sex was a decent way to let loose some built up tension for him. Seeing as it was working and how much you liked it, he keeps giving you what you want. Though it was getting less effective everytime. He'd have to find another solution soon.

He doesn't know how to feel about your compliments about his more monstrous features during sex. You were emphasising them a lot. Maybe to make him feel better? It was just a bit... intense.