I do what it takes...

Fascinating question! Let's go through this:

The golden core transfer was obviously non-consensual because JC was tricked about what exactly was happening

Ditto the eye transfer because Song Lan was unconscious, and it's pretty much guaranteed he would have refused if given the choice

LWJ did not ask WWX's permission to fight the elders, but I think this is a situation where WWX's consent is not per se required. LWJ made a decision for himself, and it was his right to do so.

In CQL canon, JGY explicitly asks LXC to stay and die with him, and LXC explicitly agrees. Consent kings!* However, in other versions it's more complicated. (In fact based on book canon I wouldn't really have put LXC here, but I'm a shameless xiyao girlie and I'm allowing it because in both CQL and the donghua he's shown actively choosing to die with JGY.)

Wen Ning and Wen Qing 100% did not have the consent of WWX or any of their relatives, and literally had to paralyze WWX to prevent him from stopping them. However, as with LWJ, I don't know that this scenario actually requires anyone else's consent. WN and WQ have the right to choose to give themselves up for what they believed would be the greater good, even if other people were unhappy with this decision. In fact, had WWX successfully stopped them, it would arguably have been violating their autonomy and right to make this choice.

the siege was led by the four major clans and attended by hundreds of other sects. this is clearly stated both in the narration and in the gossip right on the first page of the novel!

and then, we get this line, which i think is the real reason why everyone jumps to the conclusion that jiang cheng led the siege:

but like:

this is spoken by one of the gossipers rather than the narration which reduces its reliability immediately. first they say he killed him, then when someone else points out he was torn apart by his own ghosts, they correct to this.

it is followed by the discussion of wei wuxian annihilating 3k, then 5k cultivators in nightless city, numbers that are clearly exaggerated even just from the tone of this discussion (“5k is more believable” is a ridiculous thing to say) and then confirmed hyperbole later on in the novel, which again, immediately sets us up to question previous statements

the “don’t forget what he had in his clutches” (yin tiger tally) is shortly followed by “thankfully he had already destroyed the ytt” basically negating the previous claim that jiang cheng’s strategy was the thing that won the siege

they keep referring to jiang cheng as “the little jiang sect leader” which doesn’t exactly paint him as a powerful leader dude with agency, and TO ME suggests a kind of PR machine behind the scenes that’s setting him up as Just a Little Guy making his Big Debut. it just reeks of propaganda.

what weaknesses, exactly, was jiang cheng aware of that others weren’t? what chance did a lone wei wuxian, who has at this point destroyed the yin tiger tally (and his will to live), have against hundreds of sects with powerful cultivators?? did they really need a fancy strategy?? the only weaknesses that jiang cheng could use against wei wuxian were emotional ones! he could barge in there yelling “it’s your fault that jiejie is dead” and maybe he did! and if he did, can you blame him??

not to mention that imo all the evidence strongly suggests that wei wuxian commanded the ghosts/spirits to destroy him, basically killing himself. his death was absolutely inevitable after nightless city. even lan wangji knew that when he left him there (i will die on that hill, much like wei wuxian did).

but then you look at jiang cheng's actions instead, and it turns out this guy's actually busting his ass really hard for his loved ones? wei wuxian gets beaten by gusu lan, and jiang cheng carries him back. wei wuxian and lan wangji get trapped in the murder turtle cave, and jiang cheng runs for seven days without rest to rescue them. jiang cheng and jiang yanli secretly visit wei wuxian in yiling. helicopter-parent jiang cheng goes charging up dafan mountain the moment jin ling sends a distress signal flare. jiang cheng goes running after jin ling whenever he gets into trouble. when jin ling cries, he cries to jiang cheng. and - of course - jiang cheng only got his core melted in the first place because he led the wen patrol away to save wei wuxian.

what's interesting is that, whenever jiang cheng is saying or doing something cruel, the narration always adds a few extra sentences describing how cruel jiang cheng is being. an aside about sect leader jiang's infamous ruthlessness, wei wuxian's snarky commentary about how jiang cheng can never let a grievance go, or just a description of the vicious sneer twisting jiang cheng's face - the narration never just lets jiang cheng's actions or words stand on their own.

The band is at the base of the condom. It’s latex is made thicker here than the shaft and is, therefore, less elastic. The band keeps the condom secure so it does not come off mid-insertion and so penial fluids do not leak from the condom. To do this, the band has to keep a very tight grip on the base of the penis. This is the main complaint from people using condoms too small for them. The shaft’s plastic can stretch comfortably, but the band is not so lenient and uncomfortably or painfully squeezes the base of the penis.

Condoms in use experience a lot of friction. For a condom’s shaft or band to be stretched farther than it was intended weakens the latex. The band and shaft are then at risk of being broken from the friction. It fitting does not mean it is sustainable.

One of the many failures of sex ed in this country is the notion that there’s only two types of condom, “fits everyone except those elephant-trunk-cock freaks” and “for elephant-trunk-cock freaks or lying braggarts” (and yes, there’s implicit shame in the idea of people needing non-”regular”-sized condoms and the genesis for such is pretty likely rooted in some really nasty viewpoints about certain groups of people but I’m digressing).

But penises come in a LOT of dimensions, and not all of them fit right in a “normal” condom. You don’t need to have a monster down there for a condom to be legitimately painful and/or break mid-act. This can leave a lot of people legitimately unawares that it doesn’t have to be like this. (I was, early on.)

Condom too tight? That’s a real problem for the reasons pointed out above. But it’s a solvable one at most drug stores, which generally have a broader (ha ha) selection than your Walmarts or Targets. Or suck it up (ha ha) and go to an “adult boutique” (a proper one) where they’re likely to have even more options and let’s be real here the people working at these aren’t gonna give you Looks over condom selection. Or shop at said boutiques online if you REALLY need to avoid the in-person thing.

And if you think you’re gonna be doing things requiring condoms, HAVE YOUR OWN. Yes, even if you personally don’t have a penis. Buy a box of large-size as well just in case.

https://www.verywellhealth.com/condom-size-chart-906776

Adding lubricant inside increases pleasure and safety, it will blow your mind. Please do it.

Also! Most people suffer from a very low grade allergy to latex and one of the coolest things on this earth is polyisoprene condoms. They’re 100% less smelly, just as safe, and feel way better. Our preferred brand was Skyn but there’s other brands worth trying.

Like, by no means am I trying to weigh up the MXTX love interests' separation periods (as I like to think of them), but Hua Cheng had hope that he would find Xie Lian - he had so much hope that he actively searched for eight hundred years for him before he found him. Luo Binghe was able to bring Shen Qingqiu back, was in the midst of doing so when the mushroom body situation happen and then (while it wasn't Luo Binghe who did it) did bring him back.

Wei Wuxian died. Like straight up, no coming back, impossible to see him again, died. And I sometimes feel like saying that Lan Wangji was waiting kind of undermines the fact that this was a soul-crushing thing, and this was just going to be the rest of his life. There literally was no fucking shot of Wei Wuxian coming back in anyone's even remote comprehension, and the fact that he did come back was a fucking miracle in and of itself.

Lan Wangji mourned for those thirteen years. Hua Cheng searched, Luo Binghe (it's been a while so call me out if I'm wrong) was almost in denial over Shen Qingqiu's death even though he comprehended the sacrifice so he planned, but Lan Wangji mourned, and was going to mourn for the rest of his life. He just had to get used to the fact that he would never, ever get to see the love of his life again. There wasn't even a body to bury. It was just the memories and the gradual, slow descent of those memories disappearing with aging.

ALSO now that I'm thinking about it, the fact that he couldn't even talk to anyone else about it. Obviously, there's this whole thing of memories being kept alive through like sharing and talking about them, but Wei Wuxian cemented himself as basically a taboo subject. A monster who is only talked about to scare people or to curse out his name. Those who remember him can't or won't talk about him for one reason or another, and that means that Lan Wangji is left all alone, mourning someone who nobody even cares to talk about, and that will be the rest of his life. He has come to terms with the fact that he will die with the faint memory of Wei Wuxian's smile and that's all.

And, once again, this isn't trying to make a competition out of the separation periods, I could just as easily talk about how Hua Cheng's despair of not being able to find Xie Lian but knowing that he is alive somewhere (or is he? Has he gone? Faded away? Is Hua Cheng just looking for a memory?). I could talk about that desperation that Luo Binghe felt at losing the only person he had ever loved and been loved by, who had sacrificed himself to save him when he needed him most, who gave so many mixed signals, and then needing to get him back by any means necessary. But this post was borne of me being tired of the 'waiting' label being applied to Lan Wangji's mourning period.

The random person I have tied to a chair in my basement: "Mmf mmf mmf!"