Every happy memory with my ex that creeps on me and makes me miss him is always followed by a really fucked up memory which reminds me of why I left him. It's like I'm saving myself from myself. A personal favorite was of how I never met his daughter during the 7 months we were together. He would tell me he was ready at least once a month and cancel last minute because he wasn't ready. Once he even kicked me out of his house because his mom was on her way home with his daughter and he didn't want her to meet me. His mom hated his ex because she didn't like his daughter and he still stayed with her, besides the point. So on the last couple of days of us being together, his mom opened up to me about all of this shit he had done and how he acted so I made it clear to her that the only reason I hadn't met his daughter was because he didn't want me to, not because I didn't want to. So she straight up tells me to just show up at their house one day when I knew he had her. That's when I realized that I didn't have to put myself through that. Yes I did love him and yes I do miss him at times but our relationship was filled with situations like these. Never once brought me around his friends and only brought me around cousins once. And he still tells me he wants me to take him back because of the issues I've had with low self esteem not realizing that he was the reason behind them. I couldn't admit it to him or myself at the time but I have now, to the both of us.
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