i thought the āthis is the face that launched a thousand ships, although now it would maybe be five-hundred.ā line was just an internet joke but apparently that's a line Menelaus actually says in Nolan's Odyssey??
Not only that the language itself sounds straight out of a marvel forcibly funny haha moment, but Menelaus? The Menelaus who all thoughout human history, from Homer, to Sappho, to Euripides, to Virgil, to Shakespeare, to Brooke, to Barth; from Classical vases to Medieval poetry to Reinessance art, has been known as the man whose sword fell from his hands at the sight of his wife after 10 years apart?
"What joy for me to hold my wife" Menelaus?
"He flung the sword away, and kissed her feet" Menelaus?
"I believe all. I understand nothing. I love you" Menelaus?
"I have no fault to find; my wife, he daughter of Zeus and Leda, is mine again, she whom her brothers on their snow-white steeds, whilst torches blazed, made my happy bride, but gods removed her from my home." Menelaus?
The Menelaus who was picked out of the suitors by Helen herself? The Menelaus who couldn't kill a begging Trojan so his brother had to do it for him? The Menelaus who rescued Odysseus and got out Patroclus' body? The Menelaus who volounteered to fight Paris one on one so everybody could go home? Who kept expressing his guilt about himself being the cause of war through every assembly he spoke at in the Iliad? Who after 10 years away at Troy, took his wife through a 7-year long journey at sea back home, where he reinstated her as the queen of Sparta? Who wept like a child in front of Telemachus recalling the war and his brother and all the friends he lost and the only consolation being his wife' gentle hand on his?
You want me to believe that man scarred Helen's face and called her only worth half the ships because of it?
I'm actually physically sick just thinking about it.
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Enslaved under ottoman empire for 400 years, being heavily taxed unless they agreed to convey to Islam and also their resistance was responded with slaughters (Psarra slaughter being one of them or the Mesolloghi sage ending etc)
Their children being claimed by the Ottoman army to form a ruthless army that later on was sent against their own people because they never knew them
People in Europe didn't support them at first because "there is not a single drop of greek blood in Greeks anymore" and they did only after Greeks showed their determination in war plus they managed to attract allies in Europe so many bended their opinions after that
Greeks even now accused for "begging for money" when they forget that Greeks alongside with other southern countries like Spain gave loans to Germany which they were later given away for free
Greeks were met with racism in the US in states such as Chicago they were treated the same way as any other minority in US and in fact racist opinions of KKK are heard to this day aka "Greeks are not white" which was the excuse used by racist groups in the US alongside with Italians for instance because they perpetuated that "modern Greeks and Italians are 'mixed' with African or Turkish DNA and therefore 'not white'" and so they used that as an excuse to abuse Greeks
In Chicago Greeks were constantly referred to as "dirty Greeks" as racial slur. In the 1900s they were bullied and pogromed beyond measure and even being pinned on the worst crimes even worse than black people and others such as rapes or murders. Also attacks happened to Greeks
The Greeks were made to sit at the back of the bus like other marginalized groups in America
They were pinned as the bad guys in novels for instance Britain or others and they were criticized as "barbaric people of barbaric language that have nothing to do with the ancient Greeks"
The KKK literally planned a whole attack against the Greeks and they were stopped in time because church in America cabled Greece and Greece reacted that "no one should touch a single Greek hair" through diplomacy (here's an article about the general climate with the Klan by the way)
In 1920s they suffered a great genocide of like half million people that is still not recognized to this day
They suffered a great loss of life under the Nazi regime where entire villages were slaughtered
They suffered pogroms in Turkey later even after the signature of the peace treaty and the exchange of populations in areas that were supposed to be excluded such as Constantinopole and the islands Imbros and Tenedos (and yes they are recognized as ethnic minority not religious minority). Constantinopole has only a few thousand Greeks left and Imbros and Tenedos (before Imbros had over 7000 Greeks and Tenedos 2500 which was over 90% of the island populations. These days they are approximately 800 and 30 respectably)
Even recently there were anti-Greek waves to the general area
Can we please shut up if we do not know the Greek history? Can they please leave us the fuck alone anymore?!
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ā ļø venezuela was struck by two devastating 7.5 and 7.2 magnitude earthquakes. there are currently over 50.000+ and counting people missing and the country is severely underprepared for natural disasters.
- https://caritasvenezuela.org/donaciones/
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IF YOU WANT TO HELP VENEZUELANS DURING THE CURRENT TRAGEDY, DONATE TO THE LINKS ABOVE. š»šŖ do not donate to the corrupt venezuelan red cross.
Apparently in the Wuthering Heights movie, Nelly has a creepy crush on Catherineā¦ nevermind that in the book there was a significant age gap between the two and Nelly was a teenager raising Catherine, nevermind that Nelly made it no secret she was didnāt like Catherine at all and was even relieved when she died.
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I'm sorry I have to say this but I think this is what double standards looks like in Greek mythos talk;
Them: Clytemnestra did nothing wrong! Ever!
Me: You mean...apart from cheating, murder, coup and child abuse?
Them: Shut up misogynist! She was a grieving mother and any mother would do that for her child and men cheat too and Agamemnon is a piece of trash and had it coming!
Me: And Cassandra too, I presume...and her other children
Them: You do not understand! She was traumatized and she has been through a lot! She was forced to marry Agamemnon even if he killed her husband and child so of course she would turn like this! They made her do that!
Me: So...if trauma excuses any horrible behavior shouldn't that also apply for the Atreides too?
Them: Fuck no! They are men! They can never have it as hard as Clytemnestra!
Meanwhile the Atreides: Their mother was sold to a relative by her own father to drown because she was having a fling with a slave and then she was married to Atreus whom she proceeded on cheating on him with his brother Thyestes. Thyestes being a man wishing to do anything for power even to cheat on his own brother thus using his lover to collaborate with him. Atreus arguably being one of the scariest figures of myth takes revenge for adultery to the sickest level by killing his nephews and feeding them to their own father and taunting him for it. Thyestes raping his own daughter so he can have his revenge. Atreus raising Aegisthus under his own roof. They becoming exiles when their father got killed and Aegisthus did the full coup after arguably facing the most traumatic childhood a child of myth could go through and had to claw themselves back to their original place...
Me: ...
Me: Yeah they had "La Vie en Rose" playing at the background of their childhood alright. Trauma definitely doesn't apply to them...
Just to be clear I am NOT saying that Clytemnestra had it easy or that her emotions are not valid but if one always uses the trauma as an excuse rather than an explanation for someone's bad deeds in myth then I have to say that the Atreides had all the reasons to become villains and they chose not to and I believe we do not appreciate that enough
And no Agamemnon did NOT want to sacrifice Iphigenia. It was a dictation of the gods and he had no way of refusing that.
And this is going to make a lot of people very angry to hear.
But a lot of y'all on this website are truly deeply genuinely never going to be capable of any kind of real narrative analysis--and I don't mean 'being right all the time' I mean 'meaningfully engaging with the text in any way'--
Because you are, fundamentally, incapable of comprehending that writers usually do things on purpose.
The match cuts were meticulously designed and put there to communicate something.
The VA's delivery of a line was being directed. Inflection and tone change the meaning of dialogue. This is intentional. There are entire teams of people shaping those choices and deciding which take to use based on what works best for the story.
Information is being revealed in a specific order, on purpose, to craft an emotional arc and guide the audience's understanding.
A character's romantic preferences are only, and SHOULD only be, their primary motivation if the genre is romance. That is why there is a genre called that. Most stories are other genres.
Creators who dislike a character generally give them LESS attention, MORE boring storylines, and LESS screentime.
Sometimes curtains are just blue. But if the shot composition or written narration takes time to HIGHLIGHT, especially more than once, that the curtains are blue, then the blueness of the curtains is by definition narratively important.
"Cite your sources" is not a witch's curse that banishes People With Different Opinions to the shadowrealm of Being Wrong. Someone making points that challenge your perceptions, while including screenshots and explicit examples, cannot be dismissed with "cite your sources" because they are literally doing that. Don't @ me on this one I've seen shit in the wars, y'all.
Failing to understand these things WILL bar you from ever really engaging with or understanding any narrative more complicated than Paw Patrol for the rest of your life.
ā¦ Summary - You get sacrificed to the god of the forest, who happens to be less bestial then you initially thought
ā” Semi-feral Halsin x reader
ā¦ Content - AU where Halsin basically stayed in wild shape for so long he accidentally became a local god, this one is kinda long oops - Warnings - MDNI, slight mention of death (if you squint), youāre the sacrifice, virgin reader, age gap, oral (r receiving), smut p-in-v, fingering, unprotected sex
This week it was the eldest lad from the one of the loggers, last week the youngest of the alderman. āBad luckā some called it but the elderly women whispered of misfortune, of having upset the good will of our god. We had been greedy, offered too little. Now our god, who had been watching over our hunts and our loggers was upset with us. Thatās why the children got sickly, why the finest trees meant for cutting now suddenly grew rot and why the only animals our hunters caught barely had any meat on their bones.
This time no bread, fruits nor beer could satisfy as offerings. Something grander had to be brought to the old stone circle in the forest.
The eldest women all gathered at the aldermanās house for an entire day and night. In the morning a decision was made. Like had been done numerous decades before, when the oldest woman was still a girl clinging to her motherās skirts, theyād send a gift that would certainly please the god of the forest. A gift that would ensure more bountiful hunts and drive the sickness from our trees and children.
The next morning they stepped back out and as the village awaited their decision they appointed you. As your breath caught it was as if the others let out a joined sigh of relief, their loved ones would be safe. You knew why you were chosen, no father and a mother who barely looked at you. A roast pig would be a lousy offering as it could feed the entire village for days. One less mouth to feed wouldnāt be a bother to anyone, especially since you mostly kept to yourself. You wouldnāt be missed, not truly, and that is why you were a perfect choice.
The preparations were made swiftly as everyone felt like they couldnāt spare much more time, not after the death of the aldermanās youngest.
One of the elderly ladies, the one who taught the younger women midwifery, came to your home to speak with your mother. She asked about your virtue, the god of the forest would prefer a wife unspoiled. Your mother confirmed you had not been promised to any of the boys yet. You yourself knew that meant little, girls around your age whispered about sneaking off all the time. Luckily the older woman believed it when you explained that truly none of the village boys had cared to chase after your skirts yet.
That evening youāre dressed in a simple white dress, it was quite pretty, like the kind you got to wear during summer feasts. A garland of flowers placed on your head in the same colors as the braid of cloth tied around your waist. Buttercups, poppies and cornflowers. You had never felt so special before and couldnāt help the smallest smile from forming before you were reminded of the situation.
The whole village had gathered by now and the gathering crowd murmured softly as you were led by hand to the stone trail leading away from the village, towards the deeper parts of the forest. You could hear your mother sniffling quietly. You could also hear the other girls your age giggle behind their hand, glad it wasnāt them walking out of the village on their bare feet.
You tried to look back over your shoulder but the old woman quietly tugged you along. You walked with her for a while as the setting sun colored the sky in hues of gold, orange and red. Eventually you two arrive at a broken circle of old stone. In the trees and bushes surrounding the circle were ribbons tied of the same colors as the cloth around your waist. Empty bowls sat on the small altar in the middle.
The old woman quietly moves some of the old bowls aside and gestures for you to sit, to which you oblige. āYouāre very good-ā she murmurs softly as she tucks some hair behind your ear ā-very pretty.ā A shy smile curls your lips as you lower your gaze. āAfter tonightā¦ when can I come back?ā You ask softly and the woman gives you a pitiful look before shaking her head. āYou must sit and stay, be very brave. Youāll be a good wife.ā She instructs before turning and shuffling away, leaving you alone as the sun slowly disappears behind the tree line. A wife? Her words ring through your head. You were to be a wife?
Crickets chirp in heaps and every now and then you have to swat away an annoying mosquito, you quietly kick your legs and wait while thinking over the word of the old woman again and again. Then you hear it.
Nothing
The crickets have stopped, you didnāt even notice when exactly they had stopped until you missed the comforting sound. Then a soft rustling in the bushes behind you, the sound of something large sniffing and pawing through the empty bowls scattered around the altar. It moves slowly, in a heavy yet strong way as the creature slowly makes its way around the altar to look at you.
You quietly curse your body and mind for freezing up instead of fleeing when your eyes meet with the largest bear youāve ever witnessed. Nothing you knew came even close to this beast. As you stare it observes you in turn. After a long moment of just staring at each other the snout of the beast comes closer and presses against your knee before taking a deep breath in. You look down in fear, wondering if this is where youād meet your end, in the jaws of some bear-god. However, the beast seems to care little about eating you. Instead he steps back and starts slowly moving away from the circle, only to look back with something almost like expectancy in its eyes. It catches you so off guard that you do not dare move, you mustāve imagined it.
When you stay very still the beast turns back and this time moves closer, his snout almost leaning into your lap. Your muscles finally unfreeze and you attempt to scramble back before its jaws close around one of the loose hanging ends of your colored cincture. The beast now gently moves back once more, dragging you off the altar by your cincture after which it once again starts walking away from the stone circle and into the forest. This time with you following, still slightly in a shocked state over how this bear just showed such a sign of clear intent or thought.
You follow quietly until you finally find yourself in front of a cave. The entrance quite low but the bear manages to fit and soon looks at you to follow. Inside it was more spacious. Furs draped on the floor made for a softer feeling beneath your feet, furs that had been tanned by human hands. Perhaps they too had been offerings? In the corner laid the actual bed, a pile of leaf litter, twigs, heaps of moss and other such materials. All of it covered with another one of the unusual pelts.
As you were still inspecting the den, the bear was rummaging through some more bowls and pots in another corner, very similar to the ones strewn about around the altar. After a moment he finds an apple and gently takes it into his mouth before returning and dropping it at your feet. āFor me?ā You whisper softly but the bear just stares expectantly. You slowly lean down, not wanting to make any sudden moves in case you had misinterpreted. When you pick up the apple the bear looks slightly satisfied, especially when you take a small bite.
After another bite you look at the bear again, the old womanās words ringing in your head without pause. āThank you, husband.ā You whisper and for a moment you almost imagine spotting a hint of surprise on the large bearās face.
By now the sun had set and darkness and cold slowly settled into the cave. The bear was more than happy to chomp down on your apple core once you finished eating, after which he sauntered to the large bed and laid down with a tired groan. The branches crunched beneath his weight and after a moment he rolled over onto his side. With a paw he patted the space beside him on the pelts. At this rate you could no longer tell yourself you imagined it and you obey, laying down onto the furs beside him.
You lay still for a moment until the large paws slowly curl around you and youāre pulled into his large, furry chest. His snout nestles into the crook of your neck where he lets out something between a sigh and a groan. Soon his breathing evens out and heās fallen asleep. For a while longer you listen to the sounds of the forest at night, the soft breathing against your back like a bellow. Sleep finds you too eventually and despite your situation it feels safe.
. Żā ā¹ . ŻĖ . Ż Ż. Ė Ż. ā¹ā Ż.
Most of the following days are spent learning his routine. In the morning you both stroll to the river where you can bathe and he can drink. Then you go on the long stroll that makes up most of the morning and noon. Patrolling the forest and foraging for food. Luckily it was blackberry season so you both get a sweet treat. The patrol always ends at the old, stone circle. It every second day some offerings are laid out, bread, some beer, apples. Your favorite is when thereās something special baked, like the savory meat pies that are left on rare occasions.
Your new life, though unusual, wasnāt bad by any means. Your husband was good to you, gentle in his own way. During long walks you had figured out that he wished you to ride on his back so your feet would not get tired, in turn youād make sure no ticks or bramble thorns got nestled into his skin. You both looked out for each other in the ways you could.
However, during the latest nights you had noticed unusual things about your new husband. There were times at which you had thought to have heard whispers from him. Once in your sleep addled mind you had imagined a hand upon your waist instead of the usual warm paw. Though usually you brushed it off, you had lived so long among people, and this in itself was such an unusual situation, you could image your mind trying to make sense of it all.
This night, unlike many others, sleep did not find you easily. The more you tried the harder it became to sink into a slumber like usual. You keep your eyes closed and mind your breathing, behind you your husband shifts and letās out a soft groan. He could not sleep either it seemed. The bed below you rustles as he tries to part from you as quietly as a bear of his size was capable of. It wasnāt unusual for him to wake late to relieve himself, what was unusual on the other hand was the quiet way something else snuck back into the den moments later.
Your husband was large and you did not need to open your eyes to hear him move about. What met your ears now were quiet footsteps, in an instant your eyes are wide open as you look for the intruder. A man with a large build was walking right towards you. Still in the bed you were cornered, you realize now. Dear gods he was completely bare, when he steps closer to the bed you quickly scramble up and press back against the cold walls of the den.
The manās eyes widen just as much as yours. He looks genuinely surprised and raises his hands in a peaceful gesture. āWife, it is me.ā He mutters after a moment of thinking, his voice gravelly and rough.
You quickly shake your head. āI donāt know you-!ā You blurt out as you press back more against the cold wall. The manāor rather, elfā you notice now, has a slightly worried look in his eyes perhaps even a hint of pain which he tries to conceal behind a calm facade. He carefully kneels on the furs before you. āYou know me, wifeā¦ā He tries again, letting the words linger while making no attempt to move closer.
You study him in the dark of the den and after a moment you squint and lean closer. The thin scars on the side of his face are familiar to you, you noticed them on your husband while removing a tick from his ear once. āBut thatās impossible-?ā You whisper softly and the elf smiles. āIs it? On the first night I gave you an apple, you called me husband then. I thought that was impossible then too. That something so soft could be a wife to a beast.ā He murmurs with a small smile.
It was only something he could know, this elf and the bear were one of the same. While youāre still wondering how your hand slowly reaches out to touch the scar. His hand slowly comes up to take yours and his thumb brushes your knuckles. āI thought a quiet entrance would let you remain asleep, I did not mean to frighten you.ā He explains softly.
Meanwhile your eyes are still darting over his body. He was large, truly a bear of a man, despite the irony no other words would do justice. Strong too, his build was more than impressive. āLet me look at you, in the light, I mean.ā You whisper as you grasp his hand in turn and lead him closer to the entrance of the den. The little amount of moonlight let through illuminates his face a little more. A strong jaw and a serious face but with gentle eyes. A warm brown that has not changed. Of note is the tattoo on the side of his face, red swirls and arches that seem to follow down his neck as well. Heās actually very handsome now that you get a close look at him.
āDoes it suffice-?ā He jokes softly in an attempt to break the tension. You canāt help but smile a little. āWell, until moments ago I had no idea there was more to you than the bear-ā you murmur in turn. āWhy not tell me?ā
He turns away and looks almostā¦ ashamed? āIt has beenā¦ very long since I last walked on two feet. Decades perhaps. After a while you forget how. To be one with nature is a blessingā¦ but then you.ā He explains. āYou spoke to me, called me husband. Spoke with me, felt the need to bathe and clean out the den every once in a while. So very human in many ways that I had forgotten. I did not yearn to walk around as a man again but my body remembered, changed without my will when I dreamt of you.ā
You listen as he talks. In a way it made sense. This life you had been living with him so far was peaceful, simple even. You hadnāt felt so unburdened in a long time. There was one thing that still irked you though. āWhat of the offerings? Did they work?ā
He raises a brow. āWork for what?ā He asks now with a confused look. āTheā¦ god of the forest? You knowā¦ you look after the village?ā
He looks even more confused now. āThose offerings were for me?ā¦ I just did not want to let them go to waste. Thought Iād better bring you back too before youād catch a cold.ā He admits before looking you over. āThat explains a lot.ā Now it is your turn to look confused. āSo there is no forest god?ā He shakes his head. āI do care for the forest, every now and then I lead a hunter back to the pathā¦ but I am no god-ā
āI see-ā you whisper as you let it sink in. Youāre being hit by one twist after another. Your husband is a bear, except not truly since he is an elf and he is also not the god you thought existed all your life.
āAre you alright?ā He asks after a moment, his hand hesitantly reaching out to tuck some hair behind your ear. You nod quietly before looking at him again. āDo you have a name?ā You ask now while realizing how silly that must sound. He smiles however, a warm smile. āRight, yes. It is Halsin. So far youāve only even called me āhusbandā, though I liked the sound of that too.ā Halsin says. He knew your name already, you had told him once during the evening. While whispering soft rambles into his fur, up to then you had also only ever been āwifeā to him so you thought it would make sense heād at least know your name.
āHalsin.ā You repeat it to yourself to get a feel of it. He nods with a growing smile. āIt sounds good when you say it.ā He admits.
You smile in turn before a small shiver runs up your spine. Being without his warmth makes the chill of the night ever present as it seeps right through your light dress. āAre you cold? We could return to bed.ā Halsin offers and you nod. āYes, that sounds good right now.ā
You allow him to lead you back to bed. Heās still bare but you canāt find it in yourself to mind. āCan you stay like this for a while? I like seeing you, speaking with you.ā You whisper while laying down with him and pulling yourself closer to his chest. It was both familiar and new. Most importantly he was still so warm, almost unnaturally so. Halsin nods. āVery well, I shall.ā He agrees while his arms wrap around you.
He soon drifts off and you attempt to do the same but you concur that sleep has completely vanished from you tonight. Instead your mind is preoccupied with your husband in his newest form. Your hand quietly trails through the hair on his chest while you shamelessly stare at every inch of him. A soft fluttering awakens within your belly, one thatās slowly replaced with a blossoming heat which makes your thighs clench ever so slightly. A heat that only grows the more you look over his impressive physique.
Halsin, nearly drifting into a deep sleep, is once again wide awake when the scent hits him. Arousal, sweet and warm. He doubted you even knew how good you smelled, or how quickly it affected him. He swallows hard before whispering your name. āCanāt sleep?ā He whispers and you shake your head.
A small smile forms on his lips as your hand still trails over his chest. His own slowly making its way up and down your back. His head slowly dips down until heās inhaling your scent with deep breaths. His lips brushing against your shoulder. āThis formā¦ it gives me more freedom to hold you, to touch you.ā He murmurs against your skin. A shaky exhale escapes you before you reply. āThatās goodā¦ I want you to.ā
A soft groan vibrates against your skin and his large hand grasps your hip. Something twitches between you both and you can feel his need for you against your thigh.
āHalsin-?ā You gasp softly as he slowly rolls you onto your back. āI fear a greatly desire you.ā He murmurs before leaning down to kiss your lips. You quickly melt into the kiss and you part your thighs for him. Instead of just taking he kisses your neck, your collar bones, down to the valley of your breasts. His hands sliding under the white fabric of your dress. He looks up at you for permission and you quickly sit up to help take off the garment.
He gives you little time to feel exposed as he guides you back down to continue the kisses down your body. His hand gently cups a breast but he pays them little mind, clearly another goal in mind entirely. āLet me taste you-?ā He groans softly as your thighs part once more. The scent hits his nose in full now, it makes him almost dizzy as he licks the slight wetness from your inner thigh. His breath ghosts over your core, after which he presses a rough kiss to the curls just above your mound.
Both of his large hands hold your thighs open as he dips his head once more, a long lick through your folds draws a whimper from your lips. Your hand quickly tangling in his hair as it doesnāt stay at just one lick. Instead he buries himself like a man starved. Tongue lapping as his teeth graze your bud. He had almost forgotten the taste of a woman but now that he had found it once more he was hooked.
You whine and squirm in his grip, gone too long without knowing how good it could feel. A rough digit slides between your folds and pushes in, soon followed by another as youāre stretched deliciously. You whimper his name like a prayer, over and over again while you maintain a tight grip on his hair.
Finally he manages to tear himself away, a third finger roughly bullying your hole as he looks up at your face. His chin still glistens and his fingers donāt seem to slow down as he observes how sweet you look.
āI need you-ā He groans softly with a hint of desperation and when you manage to look down you can see just how hard he is, to a point where it looks almost painful. With a shaky movement you nod. āP-please.ā You manage to stutter as he finally withdraws his fingers. He quickly sucks them clean with a satisfied grumble before aligning himself with your entrance.
Heās big, really big, he realizes it himself as well. So he starts off by coating himself in your wetness slowly. Letting his length slide through your fold a few times before finally returning to your entrance. His head gently nudging at it before slowly pushing in the tip. Just with the tip he slowly rocks back and forth, pushing in just a little further with each movement. āYouāre doing wellā¦ Does it hurt?ā He asks softly. To your surprise it only ached ever so slightly, he was gentle which helped a lot. āOnly a little but not too badly.ā
āGood, I wouldnāt want you to be in pain.ā He says while studying every day minute detail on your face as he slowly rocks deeper until he is finally fully sheathed. The fullness is incredible, pressing deep against your womb while his balls rest against the curve of your ass. Halsinās body feels like a coiled spring and he does everything in his power to restrain himself. He needs this to be good, not fast. So he slowly moves, leaning over you all the while. His hand holds your hip while the other is planted beside your head. Your own having found purchase on his back where they dig into the solid muscle of his back.
Your body has adjusted and youāre starting to crave more of what he can give you. āF-faster-?ā You ask softly and he immediately complies. The den fills with the wet squelching noises and the moans that escape you both. Halsin sounds more like a feral creature, growls and grunts leave his lips at every thrust. His head dips lower until heās groaning against your shoulder. He grip on your hips tightening as he pulls you down on him faster and harder.
The way heās almost desperate to have you makes the feeling in your lower belly grow exponentially until your nails dig into his back and your eyes squeeze shut. Before you can voice what is happening a high pitched whine leaves you. Halsin feels your walls squeezing tightly around him and he ruts like a wild animal until he too finds his release. You can feel the spill inside you and he doesnāt pull out yet, instead keeping himself lodged within you snugly.
He turns onto his side and pulls you against his chest. As you both regain your breathing he rubs your back in soothing circles. āYou feel perfectā¦ in every way-ā He murmurs into your hair, causing you to smile. You snuggle closer to his chest, still sticky with sweat. āIām glad youāre more than a bearā¦ you should have me like this more often.ā You murmur with a blissful look. Halsin chuckles. āWell of course, you really didnāt think I was done with you already?ā
ā” Notes - I had to do research on bears because they donāt really live where Iām from AND BEARS MAKE BEDS?? šš SO CUTE
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So itās no secret that I am very autistic about Andromeda hence why Iām upset with this book bc I think itās an insult to Andromeda and her mythology, Iāve ranted about how bad the premise is for months and Iāve ranted about bits and pieces of the plot that I found out through reviews, so Iāll try not to repeat myself too much.
Also the author insists that haters should read her book before they judge it soā¦ thatās what Iām doing! So I donāt wanna hear anyone say ādonāt like donāt readā. Also, also I wonāt mind other ppl hate reading this too so we can make fun of it together lol
Some ground rules and the like:
1. We Stan a black Andromeda in this house (just donāt ship her with anyone other than her man) so no racism allowed.
2. We can have harsh criticism in this blog but no harassing the author.
3. āItās just an interpretationā no it isnāt. Interpretations are supposed to be based on the text, so please: point to me exactly where it says or implies that Andromeda and Ceto were lovers. You canāt? Well I can name several sources that tell us that Andromeda loved Perseus so shipping her with the monster that wanted to eat her is an ass pull. At BEST.
4. Read the book yourself. Make your own opinionsā¦ also I donāt wanna suffer through this by myself lol so pls tell me what you think of the book as well.
5. Yes I am gatekeeping Andromeda, unironically. Iām sick of these retelling authors ruining stories they donāt understand.
6. I will be repeating myself, a lot. Iāve been complaining about this book for months and Iāll repeat those criticisms here bc I kinda have to.
7. This book also tackles Egyptian mythology, which Iām not knowledgeable about so if you are pls comment on whether or not the book does the Egyptian gods justiceā¦ it probably wonāt lol
The Prologue: Aphrodite and Athena
Aphrodite and Athena show up to baby Andromeda like fairy god mothers to give her gifts, now there is a connection between Aphrodite and Cassiopeia in archaeological evidence (which the book seems to acknowledge by making her Aphroditeās priestess) and thereās even Cononās narrations that suggests Andromeda is a priestess of Aphrodite too bc she regularly visits a shrine of Aphrodite. So Aphrodite being present and gifting Andromeda her beauty? Makes perfect sense.
Nowā¦
Why Athena the bus driver? Her only connection to Andromeda is through Perseus, otherwise thereās nothing going on between them. Iāve been pondering over why sheād be added when Aphrodite is more than enough for the story, if she was written right of course, unfortunately sheās written like this:
Oh my god why are they writing off Aphrodite as shallow? This is just really weird. The line that implies that Aphrodite only ever gifts ppl beauty is just factually wrong, she gifted Andromache a veil on her wedding day (Iliad) and there are other myths where she gifts ppl all sorts of things. Guess this book is gonna give us the ditsy bimbo Aphrodite that so many other insufferable retellings gave us. Fuck me for hoping that Aphrodite will be treated with respect and not get reduced to nothing more than the goddess of beauty.
Thereās also the fact that Cassiopeia is so nonchalant through all this whichā¦ huh? Even if she is a priestess sheād still be frightened at the presence of gods BC THEYRE GODS!
Anyway, Athenaās gift is Andromedaās name and a prophecy. I guess the prophecy is basically that sheāll get a cool husband or something? And thatās why Cassiopeia was so comfortable boasting about her daughterās beauty bc she expected Poseidon will be her husband from the prophecy? Bc again the only way Athena got involved with Andromeda is through her relationship with Perseus. Or is it justā¦ vaguely something about Andromeda becoming the ruler of men? Kinda dumb if thatās the case bc Andromeda is a princess and itās a given that sheāll be a queen when sheās older.
Personally I prefer to think that Cassiopeia named Andromeda that name bc she struggled to have children (specifically male heirs) thatās more interesting than giving Athena that credit. Or pull an Odysseus and have one of Andromedaās grandparents give her that name.
Chapter 1
Andromeda is six years old and fishing with her grandmother Achiroe, daughter of the Nile. Itās a cute scene, I like the concept of Andromeda being like a Disney princess that even animals are drawn to her I think it makes sense with that one story in Manilius Astronomica where the Halcyons shield Andromedaās body when she was chained up for sacrifice. Tho the prose are wordy and couldāve used a bit of sanding around the edges idk.
This scene is quickly ruined by the presence of Phineus:
Who was actually there the whole time and hanging out with them. Weāre also told heās only 10 years older than Andromeda and while we donāt get his age in mythology itās kinda absurd that anyone would imagine his age as anything other than middle aged man slightly younger than his brother, I canāt think of a reason for the author to write Phineus as younger for any other reason than to make stupid ppl view the eventual grooming as slightly less bad bc hey look Andromeda and Phineus grew up together! Nevermind that when Andromeda is 15 heāll be 25! And thatās fucking weird!
If youāre new here youād be thinking āsurely this is to show that groomers and abusers are usually family members and ppl the victim loved and trusted and thereās going to be a tragic reveal towards the end where Andromeda sees Phineus for who he truly is and what he wants from herā well congratulations, youāre smarter than the author but thatās not what happens, the author herself says she wonāt make Phineus a villain, in fact she even calls him husband material in a podcast š¤¢ . Which is ironic bc the rest of the chapter is dedicated to how Andromeda is objectified by everyone around her, yet not by her groomer for some reason.
Weāre told that sometimes Achiroe steals away Andromeda so they can play together which is cute but then ruined by this:
So, weāre using the ābeautiful women canāt have friends bc men lust after them and women feel threatened or are jealous of themā bullshit, mind you, in Euripides Andromeda, she did have friends, an entire chorus of them in fact and they stayed by her side as she was chained to be sacrificed so you know they were ride or die for her. So making her lonely is just needlessly cruel. Weāll see many more needlessly cruel writing choices throughout this book.
It also does the really stupid thing of implying that itās mainly beautiful women who are harmed by the violence of men, I thought it was feminism 101 that rape and abuse doesnāt happen to the victim bc theyāre beautiful but bc the abuser wants to exert power of them, rape is about power not attraction.
Achiroe then tells Andromeda about the REAL story of Medusa that THEY wonāt tell her about idk Achiroe maybe itās bc that version is asinine and not real and this is where I realize Achiroe wonāt bc a real character, but rather a mouthpiece for the nonsense the author is trying to push.
Ok thereās so much wrong going on here so Iāll break it up into points:
1. āSo brightly came an ideaā I cannot retrieve what has been taken but I can assure you that no man will ever so take again.ā Must go so hard if youāre stupid lmao If Athena was actually helping Medusa why did she help Perseus kill her? Athena is straight up lying to Medusa here yet itās supposed to be a girlboss moment? Sheās actually being a wise and just protector? Is Athenaās support for Perseus gonna be erased in this book? This reminds me of a video discussing smart characters written by ppl who are clearly not smart, I mean thereās so much emphasis on Athena being wise and just to Medusa so then why does she help Perseus kill her years later? Bc whatever explanation you might give will make Athena look stupid, weak, incompetent or indecisive.
2. Who benefits from turning the story into a punishment rather than a gift? How would the ābearded Bardsā benefit? How would patriarchy benefit? Why didnāt they erase the ātruth of what happenedā with Nyctaea or Cassandra? Why is it specifically Medusa when what happened to her isnāt unique?
3. This characterization of Athena directly contradicts what we are told about her in the prologue. In the prologue weāre told she always benefits men even if indirectly āAthena serves them in her turn. Her gifts are always for them - they are always the beneficiaries even if they are not the receivers.ā, how does this correlate with her girlboss depiction here? Where sheās supposed to be justice? Is this contradiction intentional? Will it be addressed? Is Athena actually forced to serve men? Or her actions always unintentionally help men? Perhaps in some sort of mental gymnastics to justify both characterizations at once? Or will it not be addressed at all? Going back to point 1 again, is this line: āAnd by then youāll have such sweet retribution that you shall dies fully satisfiedā supposed to mean that even when Athena āhelps womenā sheās still benefiting men in the long run? That she would still use Medusa to bring Perseus glory? If thatās the case then why is Athena framed as the good guy by Achiroe? Is Achiroe supposed to be wrong here?
4. Where the fuck are Stheno and Euryale? Where are they supposed to fit in all this? Where is Ceto (Medusaās mom not the nereid) supposed to fit in this?
5. Why is Achiroe talking about Medusa? They have nothing to do with her. It would make more sense to teach Andromeda about Io, who is not only a priestess wronged by the gods, but sheās also Andromedaās ancestor. The one and only reason theyāre talking about Medusa is for fan service, itās to jingle keys on the readers who donāt know better.
6. Medusa is not a fucking priestess, Ovid said no such thing, no Greek or Roman author said such thing, I could this scream from the rooftops and the author would say āhow loud the wolves are tonight!ā.
7. The whole āshe was raped for being beautiful so Athena made her ugly to protect herā bullshit. First of all equating beauty with being assaulted is wrong, rape isnāt about beauty itās about power, āuglyā women are just as likely to be raped as ābeautifulā woman, I thought this was common knowledge.
8. If Athena was so concerned with protecting Medusa, why didnāt she turn her into an owl? Why a gorgon?
9. āAthena is justiceā read the fucking Iliad and see how she talks about female slaves and how she ignores her Trojan worshippers then get back to me. And donāt pull the āit was written by menā excuse out of your ass bc Medusaās story would not exist if Ovid didnāt write it down only for it to be misinterpreted.
We arenāt even done with chapter one and I already have so much to say lmao Ceto hasnāt even been introduced yet.
Andromeda says she wished she was ugly like Medusa, Achiroe says itās dumb to ask for Medusaās fate (for obvious reasons) and they swim in the Nile till they reach the ocean, which freaks out Andromeda and we get this line: āThose of salt are freshwaterās foeā I really hope this isnāt forcing a fake ethnic/cultural divide between Ocean and River deities bc theyāre literally supposed to be siblings and cousins.
We also get this eye-rolling āparallelā between Andromeda and Medusa:
Again need I remind yāall MEDUSA WASNāT A PRIESTESS!!
Also remember a while back when I posted about this scene and I said that Andromeda was 9? I was mistaken she was actually ten. Which would make Phineus twenty years old. I fucking hate this bitchass groomer and this stupidass plotline, if youāre gonna retell a story through a feminist lens then do it with a feminist lens! Donāt whitewash the groomer of all his faults and make his relationship with his victim a cute little unrequited romance. Andromeda throws a tantrum to her parents in front of Cepheusās friends and advisors and they all laugh so Andromeda runs off, Cassiopeia finds her and tells her this:
So ig Cassiopeia had that stupid little āschemeā to get her daughter a better marriage in the back of her mind for years now.
We also learn that Achiroe is also a groomer! Yayyyyy it especially rubs me the wrong way considering that Achiroe tells of the modern misinterpretation of Medusa, so youād think sheād have modern views on other things but no, sheās perfectly fine with her son grooming and eventually raping her granddaughter as long as he ātakes care of herā. Again, if you thought this was actually commentary on how children are more often groomed and abused by family rather than strangers, I promise you thatās not what the book is going for. In fact Achiroe is supposed to be Andromedaās āsafe spaceā. Plus this exchange between Phineus and Andromeda makes me so damn uncomfortable.
Thereās also thisā¦ Yeah the grooming is taking affect š¤¢š¤®
Andromeda then goes to a banquet thingy and gets grouped by Cepheusās friends. Sighhh remember how the author said that she doesnāt want to portray black men as predatory so thatās why she portrayed Phineus as a good guy? Yeah itās all bullshit and sheās a fucking liar, bc all those men who attacked Andromeda were Ethiopian men so she traded portraying one black man as predator to portraying multiple black men as predators, but I guess itās fine bc theyāre unnamed characters!
Such asinine and pathetic carelessness, all in one chapter no less. Then Phineus swoops in and saves the day!
Donāt you see guys! Heās so handsome and protective over Andromeda! Heās so smart and non violent too! Pls ignore that heās ten years older than her! Pls ignore all the grooming! Achiroe avenging Andromeda is also very laughable bc if it was Phineus abusing Andromeda I know for a fact she wouldnāt do anything. God this is so fucking disgusting and the fact the author doesnāt realize it makes it worse.
And the āwestern godsā bs omg the divide between east and west as we know it today did not exist in antiquity so this feels awfully out of place. And has the author ever heard of religious syncretism? Ancient ppl merged the Egyptian and Greek gods together, they werenāt actually seen as separate beings.
Ok I think Iāll stop here, I have a bad headache but I will be coming back with more chapters.
Andromeda and Achiroe sit in the banks of the River Nile watching nymphs go to the sea to attend Poseidonās wedding. Achiroe is being unreasonably bitchy about it:
Oh my god what is it with this fake ass hostility and divide between sea and river gods? Theyāre literally part of the same family itās like separating H2O from water, and Doris was always a sea goddess and thereās nothing implying that she and Nereus had any issues (as far as Iām aware) most sources about them talk about how many babies they have so idk about you, but it seems to me that they like each other lol
And saying nymphsā powers are constrained by their fathers and āmastersā is also wrong. Saying the nereids are loyal to no one? Also bs, we hear of plenty of myths where they obey Poseidon and other Olympian gods. Nereus selling himself and his daughters to Poseidon? Also bs and Nereus was never King of the sea. If anything Poseidon gets along with most water gods fairly well so to write off as Poseidon only having power through sheer force is ridiculous and unrealistic, how does he keep power unless his allies actually like him?
Remember when we saw that retelling that makes the nereids Poseidonās slaves? Yeah it seems this retelling will take a similar approach. Bc fuck the nereids being happy amirite?
Achiroe calling her own kin slaves is nasty as hell, hate her already.
So Cassiopeia is justā¦ mean lol
Cepheus not respecting the Egyptian gods is also kinda ridiculous, did the author never hear of religious syncretism? If Cepheus worships Greek gods then he wouldnāt be rejecting Egyptian gods at all, heād just merge the two pantheons together (like the real cultural exchange between Greeks and Egyptians) some obvious examples is Io-Isis and Hermes-Anubis.
Why is Cassiopeia a priestess of Tawaret? Whatās the connection between the two? Why not Astarte since we already know of Cassiopeiaās connection to Aphrodite? Or is Aphrodite too much of a dumb bimbo to the author?
I made fun of the orange thing before bc itās historically inaccurate but idk, I kinda softened to it a bit, since it connects Cassiopeia to Jaffa, then it was ruined by turning Cassiopeia and Cepheusās marriage to rape š seriously why do pp, assume nearly every relationship in mythology is rape? Is it crazy to think that Cepheus and Cassiopeia actually liked each other?
Ig I like the little reference to the Iliad, in which the gods dine with Ethiopians, makes sense that Zeus and Cepheus met ig.
Cassiopeia orders Andromeda to clean up and wear some silver jewelry. Andromeda was wearing a wreath of flowers but Cassiopeia removed it and stomped on it. Womp womp
Chapter 3
This chapter is structured really weird, like itās supposed to be Andromeda going to her room to get dressed but her thoughts always go back to flashbacks that when we are brought back to the present I was like āwait she isnāt ready? She isnāt even in her room yet? WTF is she doing?ā. We are told Cassiopeia and Achiroe donāt like each other since Achiroe always spirits Andromeda away so they could play in the Nile, honestly I donāt blame Cassiopeia at all I hate Achiroe too lol
Thereās also thisā¦ if Zeus went to dine with Ethiopians why do they have a frieze of him eating his wife? Thatās just weirdly backhanded. Also Ethiopia doesnāt have slavery bc Achiroe is so woke she wonāt allow war and as we all know, you can only have slaves through war, thereās no other way to get slaves! And an ancient civilization that doesnāt have slavery and doesnāt engage in war? Itās a damn miracle they werenāt eaten alive by their neighbors yet lol
Andromeda overhears a conversation between her parents, Cassiopeia brought over suitors without Cepheusās knowledge, he berates her for this bc itās already been decided that Andromeda will marry Phineus but Cassiopeia insists they should give the suitors a shot, she also doesnāt want Andromeda to marry Phineus bc heās not good enough for her. Thereās also some more tiresome Phineus glazing and Achiroe being a bad mom to Cepheus:
lol wow Achiroe is such a man hating girlboss that she did nothing when her son raped his wife and her other son is grooming her granddaughter.
Whatever Andromeda gets ready and she says something about makeup being frowned upon by Athiopians bc its viewed as ādeceptionā š thereās also some Aphrodite slander:
āI have heard much of how the goddess of beauty is jealous with her gifts. She is unsatisfied by gratitude ā she fears it as evidence that her own overgenerosity might create a mortal capable of outshining her ā and resentful of thanklessness, as all gods are.ā
Why make one of Andromedaās patronās so vapid and pathetic?
Chapter 4
So they throw a banquet for the arriving suitors and they each meet with Andromeda. But this chapter is mainly about how Phineus is sooooo much better than all of them! Heās so much cooler, stronger and handsomer than all of them! Andromeda is 16, Phineus.
āAt sixteen and twenty-six we are still child and man in my eyes, a chasm apart. But most would not see us as such and one day, one day in not so long, as my mother reminds me, I will bleed and become a woman. Will it come overnight, my woman-ness, rushing like the blood between my legs? Will I long for Phineus the way I hear other girls long for their lovers? The noblesā daughters whisper of him; I hear them when we are thrust together for dinners and dances. Their feverish voices rise to a peak as they praise his strength, his sharp jaw, his kind eyes. They giggle hungrily of the things his big, quick hands might accomplish.ā
Letās all die of cringe together.
Thereās also a scene where Phineus and Andromeda dance together and it reminds of a similar scene in āThe Shadow of Perseusā
Guys I need to know, is this suitor/dancing ritual a real thing? Like is it based on a real practice? Or did two different writers decide on the same story beats for the same characters? Pls Iām genuinely curious lol
Anyway Cassiopeia sees that bitchass groomer with her daughter and this is where she says her iconic boast, thereās a reaction almost immediately, Achiroe breaks in and asks Cassiopeia wtf she said, a storm and earthquake happen to andā¦
āA second later the world beneath me quakes. I feel a weight on top of me, warm, reassuring, and turn my head just enough to note that Phineus covers my body with his.ā
THIS IS LITERALLY THE SCENE IN THE OG CLASH OF THE TITANS! In the movie Cassiopeia boasts that Andromeda is prettier than Thetis to which Thetis sends and earthquake AND ITS PERSEUS WHO SHIELDS AND PROTECTS ANDROMEDA NOT SOME BITCHASS GROOMER STOLEN VALOR STOLEN VALOR!!!!
Istg youād think itās McLeod who has a crush on Phineus, not Andromeda herself.
Chapter 5
Poseidon shows up, heās gigantic and Amphitrite and *gags* Ceto are there with him. They confront Cassiopeia over what she said, Achiroe tries to involve herself but they shut her down and thereās this exchange:
Wonderful seeing a myth where Poseidon respects the nereids and turn it toā¦ this
And Poseidon agrees to give Cassiopeia and Andromeda a chance with ZERO pressure, utterly absurd! Why is Poseidon practically rewarding Cassiopeia for her hubris? How am I supposed to take him seriously as an antagonist if he falls for something so stupid? Why would he throw away having an immortal goddess when his wedding is already set for the of chance a mortal is prettier than her? Why the fuck would Poseidon think having sons is so important? Gods donāt have heirs (at least they donāt want to) and Poseidon is supposed to have Triton with Amphitrite. Triton himself was around when Poseidon was thirsting after Amymone, which is centuries before the events of this book.
Poseidon swears by his blood which is so corny and unnecessary bc the river Styx IS RIGHT THERE! Sheās the goddess of oaths! This is just try hard and edgy I canāt take it seriously.
Andromeda goes to her room and cries over this stupid situation.
I wanna add more to my criticism of the chapter bc omg thereās so much going on that I didnāt get into bc I wanted to go to bed lol
First of all, Cassiopeia is an idiot and a terrible mother in this, she was both of those things in mythology but when myth Cassiopeia made her boast she was being careless she didnāt know it would lead to terrible consequences. But this stupid ass Cassiopeia WANTED the terrible consequences, the author wants me to think Cassiopeia is playing 4D chess but she isnāt, sheās being a moron! How did she know Poseidon will react the way she wanted? How did she she know that Poseidon would actually personally show up? How did she know Poseidon wonāt just send a flood without a second thought? The answer to all these questions is that she had no fucking clue, she was willing to risk the lives of her people, guests and her family on a fucking hunch. Cassiopeia thought of doing this stupid stunt when Poseidon was having his wedding no less.
Iāve also said it a million times but if Poseidon actually was interested in Andromeda he wouldāve just kidnapped her, he wouldnāt bother to make a stupid wager with her mom. The wager itself is also stupid it deviates from the myths so much it might as well be an original story, in mythology itās Andromedaās life on the line not Cassiopeia and thatās important, Poseidon and the nereids wanted to punish Cassiopeia but they understood that taking her life would be too easy so they will take her daughter instead, to flip that around is just dumb and goes against the theme of children being punished for what their parents did. The only reason for this change is bc the author didnāt want Andromeda to be a damsel in distress, or itās bc if itās Andromedaās life on the line, the āromanceā between her and Ceto wonāt really work bc Ceto would be a bitch to a girl that will die if she loses.
Speaking of Ceto, god what an ass pull of a reason to have her involved, thereās no such thing as edgy blood oaths in mythology and the nereids werenāt Poseidonās slaves. McLeod had to ruin the world building of mythology just so she can have her little OC in the story. What even is the point of having Ceto guard Andromeda? Who cares if Andromeda uses cosmetics? Poseidon would be able to tell. Who cares if Cassiopeia tried to escape? Theyāre gods theyād be able to find and punish her. Why canāt Poseidon just chose for himself? Is he so reliant on his slaves he canāt make his own opinions? The king of the sea is too stupid to chose who he wants to marry? Again, how am I supposed to take him seriously?
This whole plot is stupid and it makes everyone involved look stupid and itās all just to accommodate this fuckass monsterās existence and its fake ass romance with Andromeda.
Chapter 6
Weāre told Cassiopeia taught Andromeda sex education and marriage and all that, thereās a Danaus and Egyptus reference, thereās some Hera slander bc of course:
āof what some men do to women, the vows they break and somehow are not punished for. Horkos, it seems, does not care to uphold all oaths and Hera, it seems, does not care for all wivesā
Is Hera supposed to micromanage everything? Arghhh
And Cassiopeia doubles down on her stupidity:
āāI do not know why you look so worried. There is only abundance in your future. You will marry Phineus and sit on my throne, or you will marry the Lord Poseidon and be Queen of the Sea.āā
So sheās just stupid and doesnāt care for her own life, what makes her think that bc Poseidon agrees to let her live, then he might plan to assault her later down the line anyway? God this is infuriating. And Cepheus agrees with Cassiopeia bc heās a spineless idiot.
So Andromeda and Ceto finally meet, Ceto is bitchy and Andromeda is a spoiled brat.
Iām sorry but is this supposed to be banter? Theyāre so fucking annoying, Ceto has no right to insult Andromeda when her motherās life is on the line and Andromeda in turn has no right to insult a goddess this way, the way it actually excites her is actually insane. I feel like the only reason the blood oath thing was added is bc if Ceto had an inkling of agency she would just kill Andromeda. Thereās also the fact Ceto mixes up the Graiai with the Fates when THEYāRE SUPPOSED TO BE DIFFERENT GROUPS OF WOMEN! Istg was her only research the Disney Hercules movie? The larping is so obvious. And Andromeda hating other girls her age bc theyāre mean and envy her? Hmmmmm that sounds familiar!
Ceto says this:
āāIt is a kind of assertion, a reiteration. He wants your family to know that he is always watching. That they may have the protection of a couple of small freshwater gods, but as all rivers return to the sea, so must you all turn to him.āā
Which is bullshit, gods donāt need their servants to personally watch over their favored mortals, they can do that just fine on their own, and why does Ceto even need to be visible to Andromeda? Why would she need to talk to her? Why not invisibly watch over her like what an actual god would do? She bitches about having to spend time with Andromeda yet she literally doesnāt have to.
Then she mocks Andromeda for having a āsmallā life bc she *checks notes* has a simple happy life? The fuck? This is middle school bullying! Secretly soft my ass. If she was secretly soft sheād simply be cold and distant not outright cruel.
Andromeda cries to Achiroe about this and of course, Ceto follows her. Manā¦ if only Andromeda had her period then and Perseus shows up and kills this fuckass monster, bet Andromeda would actually be grateful.
Speaking of Achiroe, she mentions sheāll go to Nikiās and Athena for help, at first I rolled my eyes at the Athena mention then I remembered that Athena helped Danaus (Achiroeās son) and his daughters escape from Aegyptus, so whatever Iām fine with Achiroe and Athena being connected here.
Oh and I almost forgot, Andromeda has a crush on some random girl but she doesnāt realize what she feels is attraction or whatever. This is such a nothing detail lol we donāt even meet or hear from the ājasmine scentedā girl and I bet sheād be a better partner than that fuckass monster.
Chapter 7
Andromeda turns 17 and still hasnāt got her period, she mentions that her fatherās men are starting to look at her hungrily but not the writerās favorite of course! Phineus is a good guy!
Anyways, Ceto complains about being forced to hang out with Andromeda (completely self afflicted btw), Ceto and Andromeda continue to rage bait each other and itās supposed to be fun āØenemies to lovers āØ banter but itās so fucking childish and annoying. Andromeda finally grows a spine and attacks Ceto:
They stop bc it started to rain, which ig took them off guard, the rain was apparently sent by Zeus as a sort of congrats to Poseidon for that dumbass wager. The harvest is plentiful that year bc of the rain, the news of Andromedaās engagement reaches far and wide so obviously ppl want to make alliances with Ethiopia since their princess will become queen of the sea, Cepheus rejects all of it which makes Cassiopeia mad.
I said in a separate post how dumb it is that Cassiopeia wants Andromeda to marry a foreign king and well, she explains why:
The slaves thing is really dumb and painfully modern. Could it not be that Ethiopia is so prosperous that even slaves practically live in luxury or something like that? Whatever this book is painfully modern in some ways so it makes the writing with Phineus even more absurd and gross.
Speaking of Phineus, heās seeing another girl oh no! (Thank god)
My knee jerk reaction is to be happy but then I realized that if Andromeda lost the wager, she wonāt be able to marry Phineus and so sheāll be forced to leave Ethiopia and marry a foreign king. So yeah fuck Phineus for this honestly.
Then we get the fakes conflict that Andromeda is so lonely bc all the girls are mean and jealous of her š„ŗ itās so comical that Andromeda even has an āIām not like other girlsā monologue:
āI say nothing still. I cannot bear her to know the truth of how I tried, desperately, in my girlhood, to get the others to like me. I wanted to be like them, but I, of course, am not. I was too eager, too willing, and it made them uncomfortable. It was unseemly; I am a princess, I should have ordered them around, let them seek and follow, but I did not. Any jealous coveting could have turned to awe, but I did not cut such an impressive figure up close. I was too strange, running back from the river tangled in reeds.ā
Andromeda snaps back at Cetoās comment and reminds her that sheās also lonely bc her sisters are scared and disgusted by her being a monster (which is dumb bc Thetis is also a shapeshifter) and this is when I realized that all of Cetoās bullying is just projection, like a typical bully. This dynamic is so juvenile and insufferable that even the moment where theyāre supposed to soften and relate to each other is annoying, I hope they both lose.
Ceto and Andromeda do some more back and forth then Ceto points out that even if Andromeda does marry Poseidon, the nereids will make her miserable and she has a point, whoās to say that Amphitrite wouldnāt want revenge after being horribly insulted like this? Again, Cassiopeia is an idiot for not considering any of this.
Chapter 8
We get further confirmation that the Ethiopians donāt worship Egyptian gods which is dumb, it also reminds us that Cassiopeia resents the fact they prefer the Greek gods which is also dumb be sheās trying to get her daughter married to one.
Thereās also a mention of Andromeda wearing a white dress (yay Ovid reference) but she says itās her least favorite (boooooo) is Andromeda not allowed to have anything? Is she not allowed to feel cute in white?Thereās also also a festival for the Nile flood and also Andromedaās birthdayā¦ which makes Poseidon nervous lol
Ceto calls Andromeda āvapid, myopic and boringā which perfectly describes the book lol
But I also canāt help but feel that this insult is McLeod projecting what she feels about Myth Andromeda, whom she always calls ānothing but a pretty faceā now that I think about it I think all of Cetoās insults towards Andromeda are actually aimed towards her mythical counterpart for being too soft and feminine and not a girlboss. Then she randomly compliments Andromeda, itās so out of nowhere oh my god this has to be one of the dumbest enemies to lovers Iāve ever seen.
Hey remember how the author said that portraying Phineus as a predator is racist? Yeah turns out sheās ok with depicting the vast majority of Aethiopian men as abusers. Yay anti racism!
Then thereās the most hilariously fanficy part of the book.
These two have a back and forth, Andromeda feels bad for what she said but she says but she really shouldnāt, Ceto lashes out and with zero buildup gives Andromeda a little carved hippo and calls her Meda *hurls*. Oh I failed to mention this but the night of the Poseiodon episode, Phineus gave Androneda a carved hippo. How cute that the fuckass monster and the bitchass groomer have parallels!
After that thereās a party with drinking and dancing and Andromeda is harassed by some boys, Ceto swoops in and saves the day (even does the āwho did this to you š”ā trope) and cuts off the hands of one of the boys lol would she do the same with Phineus? Nah I donāt think so heās the authorās favorite.
This whole sequence of events is so rushed and shallow, all Ceto and Andromeda did throughout the book is rage bait and fight each other (something Andromeda admits she enjoys bc the author thought it would be cool to make her a masochist) and the first time Ceto says something nice to her itās completely out of left field, she even calls her her queen unironically at one point, I was given no reason to think Ceto is falling for Andromeda and vis versa, theyāre both insufferable and annoying and I am not convinced of their romance at all. This author just shoved random tropes into these characters with no rhyme or reason.
Andromeda and Achiroe eat figs by the Nile and Ceto joins them, I now realize this is the first interaction between Achiroe and Ceto (that we see at least) and itās ridiculous bc I know the only reason they didnāt interacted years ago is bc Achiroe wouldāve threatened Ceto into being nicer to Andromeda, but if that happens then we wonāt have all that cute annoying banter!
They mention the boy who harassed Andromeda andā¦ Iām ashamed to admit it but this actually made me feel bad for him, idk why ig he reminds me of Melanthius and how he had his hands chopped off and we werenāt even told if he died or not. This just sound horrible and needlessly cruel, and to write that moment as the catalyst for Ceto and Andromeda falling in love also makes me uncomfortable. Why couldnāt Ceto just beat this guy up? Thatās such wouldāve sent the message loud and clear not to mess with Andromeda without permanently disabling someone in a world that is unkind to disabled ppl.
Ceto mentions that sheās named after her aunt (Ceto mother of Medusa) which is cute and probably the only thing I like about this character and we also learn that there are 2 Beluses, not the way I wouldāve went about it but itās not bad either (the way weāre told about this is very exposition-y and unnatural tho), guess Achiroe has a type lol but the fact she mentions the Danaidsā¦ Iām so fucking scared that McLeod would make a retelling about them.
Anyways, after that Andromeda and Ceto go to the Nileās lake (which is super far away) so that Andromeda could look at a clear reflection of herself in the water, which makes sense bc bronze mirrors donāt tell a fully accurate picture. Ceto turns into a sea serpent and they swim for a while, then she flies bc she needs to steal Perseusās nachos, itās all cutesy and romantic and blah blah I canāt wait for this fuckass monster to die.
Andromeda sees the clearest reflection of herself appearance for the first time and freaks out:
Ceto tells Andromeda she canāt marry Poseidon bc heās horrible, Andromeda brings up sheās favored by Athena and doesnāt mention Aphrodite lol
I really hate the concept that Poseidon enslaved everyone around him including other important sea gods, why do they only obey him bc theyāre scared of going to Tartarus? Thatās such a flimsy way to keep ppl under control. Ceto also mentions that she canāt disobey Poseidon bc Horkos will punish her for beating her oath, this is when I realize that Styx probably isnāt the one to deal out the punishment (deals between gods is literally her domain) bc sheās a woman and a woman oppressing another woman is just impossible lol
They almost kiss, thankfully they donāt, but ig theyāll now try to figure out a loophole so that Andromeda doesnāt marry Poseidon but also how to save Cassiopeia.
Chapter 10
Ceto and Andromeda return to the palace and Cassiopeia questions them, they tell her they were just hanging out in the river which is half true so she doesnāt question them further. Andromeda laments that she isnāt close with her mother like she used to as a small child, Yeah too bad the author focused more on Andromedaās relationship with Ceto bc she couldāve focused on Cassiopeia instead.
Phineus is back and they lament over the fact that theyāll never get married but how they still care for each other (ew) thereās also mention that Phineus would inherit the throne, lol get the fuck outta here that throne belongs to Perses, honestly I hope Perses kills him and take whatās rightfully his. Phineus says that itās weird Andromeda doesnāt have her period yet (sheās 20) and he suspects that Ceto has something to do with it, and it makes sense why heād think that:
āAnd why would I do that?ā Ceto asks wryly.
āIt is thought that she acts in favour of her sister, Amphitrite. That she hopes to give her more time to find a way to sway the bargain in her favour.ā He answers as if I am the one who asked.ā
But thatās not what happened.
Ceto basically admits she doesnāt care if Cassiopeia lives or dies (Perseus would never) and Andromeda feels uncomfortable about that. At least Amphitrite likes Poseidon and matches his craziness ig?
Itās also revealed that Achiroe wasnāt being useless bc she did seek out Athena and they slowed down Andromedaās period, ig credit where itās due I understand why Achiroe didnāt share this plan with Andromeda bc Ceto will overhear them and report to Poseidon what theyāre planning. Thereās some more talk and they eventually agree that they need to find a way to stop Andromedaās period completely. Crazy how Amphitrite hasnāt tried to sabotage Andromeda for all these years.
Chapter 11
Turns out Amphitrite can do witchcraft (idk if thatās in mythology or not) and Ceto gets her to agree to meet with Andromeda so that Andromeda can convince her to give her a potion that will stop her period. Ceto herself canāt ask Amphitrite bc Poseidon can force Ceto to tell him if they were scheming something, so Andromeda is the one to ask Amphitrite for help and they have this exchange:
Donāt you see you guys? Poor poor Ceto getting abused by her sisters! Nevermind that the nereids in mythology were very close and helped each other raise their young or mourned for each otherās loses, you can really tell the author is a TSOA fan lol and a Circe book fan too:
āI nod. Even immortals are weakened by pharmaka ā it is why such witchcraft is so feared by the gods. It is seen as dirty, unjust and unsanctioned, a greedy clawing at unnatural power.ā
Yeah bro letās forget that the king of the gods honors and respects the goddess of witchcraft. Amphitrite agrees to help and gives Andromeda a concoction that she needs to take every month, then she leaves.
Andromeda confronts Ceto about the situation and we learn all this about Poseidon, arghhhhh
They kiss after thisā¦ yeah and Andromeda gets Ceto to agree to live with her from now on so that she doesnāt need to go back to her abusive sisters. I canāt even bring myself to be mad anymore this āromanceā is so ass I canāt find the words they literally only fall in love bc nearly everyone else abuses them.
Chapter 12
Andromeda is now almost 21 and everyone else is weirded out that Andromeda still doesnāt have her period yet, even Cassiopeia is embarrassed her dumbass plan didnāt work, ppl start thinking she might be cursed or have a āwandering wombā but Andromeda doesnāt mind bc sheās living her best life with that fuckass monster.
Cepheus and Cassiopeia bring in male physicians to examine Andromedaā¦ ON HER BIRTHDAY
First of all, itās ridiculous that they donāt have a female physician to examine Andromeda, ancient Egyptians had some of the earliest known female physician so it makes no sense that Ethiopia doesnāt have them, so this detail was only added to needlessly traumatize Andromeda bc we all know that the more a female character suffers the more feminist the story is!
Also omg the fucking priestess thing, idk much about Egyptian priestesses but I donāt need to bc this book tells us time and again that the Ethiopians follow Greek customs and religion, so we all know that virginity wasnāt actually a requirement for priesthood and even if it was itās complicated but another requirement is āwholenessā and health and we were already told ppl think Andromeda is sick or cursed so thereās no way theyād allow her into a sacred place.
Second of all, WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS IS THE FIRST TIME CETO SAW YOU NAKED?? Iāve joked in a different post about how Andromeda seems to always swim with her clothes on but this is ridiculous, really? She never removed her clothes before swimming? Not to mention Iām pretty sure ancient Egyptians were pretty relaxed about nudity, at least between women. I mean we literally see so much art of women swimming or dancing naked or mostly naked but idk anyone whoās knowledgeable about ancient Egypt pls correct me.
So Andromeda is needlessly traumatized, she and Ceto go to a spring to cool off and they start playing and flirting and eventually have sex (the fact this happens the exact same day she was forced to undress in front of men is insane) and the sex scene is as cringe as youād expect, it doesnāt read like two inexperienced women having sex for the first time, its just a bad smut book, itās just Andromeda being a dom and Ceto being a whimpering sub itās so cringe. And Ceto even mentions Amphitrite teasing her for being attracted to women lmao they just found out that women can have relations with each other and they have sex like porn stars, hereās a small segment:
āMeda,ā her voice is a raw cry, āMeda.ā
I show her my teeth. I am feral for her.
āNow, now, worm,ā I purr, ābe a good girl, and ask nicely.ā
āPlease.ā
I joke about Andromeda dominating Perseus but even I donāt imagine the, having that dynamic the first few times they do it, thatās just not how relationships or sex works, especially between two virgins.
Wanna complain a bit more about the previous chapter - I 10000% believe that the only reason that Andromedaās period took so long is bc the author wanted Andromeda to be old enough to have this cringey ass sex scene, bc it literally adds nothing to story itās just self indulgent.
Chapter 13
Andromeda and Ceto hang out some more (thanks I hate it) and Andromeda laments how she and Ceto will not be remembered the correct way lol
Ceto is eating her out the very next scene lmao anyway a storm comes, everyone in Ethiopia thinks āhell yeah rainā but Achiroe, Ceto and Andromeda realize something is off, Achiroe leaves to talk to Nilus and the other 2 wait for her by the river banks and Amphitrite shows up and tells them to give her the anti period potion:
The gods are mad but they donāt know that Amphitrite helped bc Artemis covered for her, Iām actually kinda surprised that Artemisās characterization is t awful in this book. But I have a hard time believing that this Amphitrite would selflessly help anyone especially someone who was hated by the Queen of the gods at the time.
So Ceto and Andromeda are upset but thatās ok bc even if Poseidon marries Andromeda she and Ceto could still be together! Whatever. That night Andromeda gets visions of grey eyes and basically sleepwalks to the palace garden, where Phineus was also summoned by Athena, yet for some reason it isnāt Athena who shows up but Aphrodite and Artemis.
The way Aphrodite is described here is literally exactly how sheās described in the Percy Jackson book lol McLeod I know what you are. So yeah the characterization of Aphrodite here is buns (itās a shame that the implied connection she had with Andromeda in Cononās Narrations means nothing to the author), Artemis is slightly better and I actually really the idea of Artemis taking her brotherās arrows when she needs to kill a guy, btw she shoots Phineus:
LETS FUCKING GO YAYYYYYY weird how Aphrodite doesnāt realize that it isnāt Phineus thatās causing Andromeda to have second thoughts on marrying Poseidon but Ceto, isnāt she supposed to be the goddess of love? Shouldnāt she know if one of the Erotes shot Andromeda and Ceto with love arrows? Or is the love between the two girls too special to be caused by a love god?
I honestly donāt see the point of this scene, if the gods wanted to kill Phineus why not just kill him? Why do Aphrodite and Artemis need to physically show up? Just fan service? Just to punish Andromeda?
Chapter 14
Andromeda wakes up in bed beside Ceto, thinking what she experienced the previous night was a weird dream so they go about their day, then they hear that Phineus is badly sick (Cepheus and Cassiopeia are really nonchalant about this which is funny) and is being tended to by physicians, at first I was mad bc I thought he wasnāt gonna die lol but he does thankfully:
This book is trying so damn hard to make me feel bad for this bitchass groomer and I hate it, āI play wife to Phineusā YOU ARE A VICTIM!!! āIf only there were men such as Phineusā there are so many men who are just like him all over the world (even today) just not in the way you think.
I do not understand why sheās bending over backwards to make Phineus this saint like figure. Naunce my ass bc nothing about Phineus is complex or nuanced heās literally perfect in every way and itās insufferable.
Achiroe and Cassiopeia have an argument, I have no more fucks to give. Andromeda gets her period and it hurts real bad oh noooo
Chapter 15
Andromedaās cramps get so bad that Ceto takes her to a salt lagoon to soothe her pain. They argue over what to do next, Ceto doesnāt want Andromeda to marry big bad Poseidon and Andromeda doesnāt want Ceto to get punished for lying (also she doesnāt want her mom to die but thatās not her main reason somehow lol) thereās more back and forth and they have sex, I think this is the longest sex scene by far and I skipped all of it.
They travel to the Red Sea (you know what that means š Perseus about to show up) and Poseidon gifts them two white mares, the only in character thing heās done does in the entire book btw
The whole family goes to the Red Sea except for Achiroe and the reason is nonsense:
āBut for the first time in my life, I do not believe her. She cannot journey into the sea. She canāt stray too far from her fatherās river. Her godhood is a golden fetter about her neck; she is dazzling and lovely and kept here. I clutch her again.ā
There are plenty of stories where River gods travel around no problem, Mcleod just couldnāt have Achiroe around for what happens next, when the everyone else arrives at the coast, Cassiopeia prepares Andromeda to meet Poseidon, they have one last heart to heart where Cassiopeia says that her stupid plan was all for Andromeda who in turn says she understands and they hug it out.
We finally meet Poseidon aaaaand Ceto throws Cassiopeia under the bus, wonderful.
So remember that podcast where they joke that Poseidon in this book is hot and the author intended for Poseidon to be kinda sexy and entoxicating or whatever? Yeah the two times we meet him I do not see it, nothing he says or does is attractive, even the way heās described is unattractive, even in āI, Medusaā heās hotter than this, even the Phineus in this book is looks and acts more attractive. So what fucking gives? Will he be attractive later?
Ok I neglected to mention it in the previous chapter, but Andromeda and Ceto agree that they need to tell the truth and say Andromeda is the prettiest, which makes what happens next even more infuriating.
Chapter 16
Ceto has the audacity to be upset with Andromeda trying to save her mother BITCH THIS IS LITERALLY YOUR FAULT YOU PROMISED ANDROMEDA AND YOU BETRAYED HER NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND
Whatever Poseidon is mad as hell and wants to punish all of Aethiopia for Cassiopeiaās hubris and uses some dumb loophole to make it so Cepheus is responsible:
āPoseidon raging is terrible, but Poseidon smiling is a horror. He interrupts my fatherās blithering. āWell, you might make a sacrifice. Sacrifices please the gods, I hear.ā
āYes! Yes! Of course! I will call for an altar! I have a priest!ā
Poseidon points to the coast. āI take the cape as my altar but you may fetch your priest.ā
āOf course, my lord.ā My father is obsequious, sweating and scraping and pissing on his knees. āWhat would you have me sacrifice?ā
āIt is your decision. It must be worth your kingdom.ā
Ceto shifts beside me. Her breath is quick, she moves and stands before me, a reflex. My father flounders, stuttering, hands flailing in front of his face like an infant. āI ā I have nothing worth so much, Iāā
āNo? Nothing?ā
My father looks at me and he knows. He sees it in Poseidonās gleaming smile and hears it in the wing beats, surely he can hear the wing beats. Surely they all sense the great looming bird and her punitive rider lurking just out of sight.
My mother, suspended in the air above the ocean, still pinned to her throne, shrieks in rage, but she cannot compete with these friends of the Furies. āYou swore you would not hurt her! You swore it! You swore you would not harm my Andromeda!ā
āAnd I will not. I have ordered a sacrifice. It is her fatherās choice.ā
āThe deed will be yours! The blood on your hands!ā
He is awful in the blue-black half-light. He looks at his hands, blithely mocking. āI assure you my hands shall remain clean. I am no oath breaker. You seek to humiliate me, to manipulate me, to turn those loyal against me, and you shall not. You shall be humbled.ā
Then we get this gore fest:
Completely vile and unnecessary, ājustice for Cassiopeiaā my ass, this book treats her infinitely worse than ancient male writers ever could yet ppl have the audacity to call this book feminist.
Poseidon then goes to Ceto and tells her heās disappointed in her betrayal and as punishment he will force her eat Andromeda, which is oh so tragic and upsetting and Andromeda is so sad for her worm š„ŗ istg how is Andromeda not even angry at that fuckass monster? How does she even love her?
Andromeda is even angry at Cepheus bc he couldāve sacrificed his throne instead of her or something (as if Poseidon would ever accept that) and she even spits at him as he ties her up. So why is she not angry at that fuckass monster for betraying her? I was promised female rage and strong character development but Andromeda is still the spineless doormat she was at the beginning of the story.
This entire mess is Cetoās fault yet Iām expected to feel bad for her? I was right to call her a fuckass monster even before reading this book bc thatās what she is. Thatās ok tho, the GOAT has finally arrived and saved the day!
āAnd a man lands before me. His tunic is dirty but his sandals are bright gold with enormous wings. He is staggeringly handsome, broad and golden haired. He stands, looking down at me, with the head of the Gorgon in his hands and the pieces of my lover at his feet.ā
Letās hope Perseus saves Andromeda from fuckass monster hypnosis too.
Chapter 17
Andromeda tries to off herself.
And Perseus is an idiot, istg even a misogynist like Hesiod would guess that Andromeda is mourning for the monster yet Perseus canāt even realize the fucking obvious? My goat has been lobotomized chat. No one tells him the full story of wtf just happened and they quickly arrange a wedding for the two and Andromeda just quietly goes with the flow bc sheās a pathetic doormat that has all her ācharacter developmentā flushed down the toilet bc another terrible character died.
This book had the golden opportunity of a lifetime to have Perseus comfort Andromeda over Cassiopeiaās death yet they do thisā¦ but noooo that wouldāve gave him depth! That wouldāve made him smart and emotionally mature! That wouldāve made him an actual character! But no his only characterization is that heās horny for Nadromeda and also stupid. Cassiopeia doesnāt even get a funeral ppl just forgot and moved on from her yet Iām supposed to believe this book gave her just?
Later in the chapter Andromeda even thinks āAt least he loves his mother.ā š really?
Chapter 18
Perseus and Andromeda arrive on Seriphos and all that, the bards start singing praises and this is the big bad wrong version of the story that they made up bc they wanna hide the truth!
Several chapters ago, Ceto says she had no control over how sheās remembered and Andromeda feels upset about that yet when she has the opportunity to set things right and tell ppl the truth she doesnāt, sure she canāt tell ppl that she and Ceto were lovers but she can certainly tell them that Ceto was forced to eat Andromeda against her will, that wouldāve made for a more dramatic story than anything. Again, the Andromeda in this book is pathetic, spineless and (pretends to be shocked) voiceless. She had the opportunity to at least sway how ppl remember Ceto yet she doesnāt take it.
Also Perseus would NEVER call Poseidon a brute lmao I donāt think I need to explain why that is.
Also, also the Kraken and Pegasus thing were things that were added to the Perseus mythos much MUCH later, it wasnāt something ppl in antiquity wrote about, the Kraken thing is especially stupid bc thatās from an entirely different culture and mythology.
Chapter 19
Margins this margins that you didnāt add shit to the story so stop waxing poetic about it. So Andromeda has a second wedding in Seriphos, at least DanaĆ« is nice (Clymene not so much) ppl see that sheās sad but think sheās just being modest bc if theyāre all as dense as Perseus.
The bards sing some more songs, Perseus really likes the story of Acrisius and the box for some reason and it doesnāt make sense, even DanaĆ« was kinda weirded outā¦ anyway the celebrations continue until the newly weds go to their wedding bed.
Content warning: graphic rape scene
So Andromeda is raped by Perseusā¦ and itās needlessly graphicā¦ as you can clearly see, sheās visibly uncomfortable and scared yet Perseus doesnāt care, golden retriever my ass. But itās ok guys sheāll learn to love him later bc he loves his mom!
They go to Larissa and Andromeda gets ptsd from everything she sees lol
I donāt understand whatās the point of including Acrisiusās death, I feel like McLeod only added this here bc itās something that happened in the mythology without even bothering to have Andromeda actually doing anything there, in most sources Andromeda stays in Argos with DanaĆ« (and Cyclopes, more on that later) so it feels unnecessary to have them join Perseus in looking for Acrisius. It wouldāve been way better to have DanaĆ« and Andromeda spend some time together in Argos and getting to know each other, perhaps DanaĆ« herself can tell Andromeda her backstory rather than have some bard sing about it in an earlier chapter, thereās no reason for them to be in Larissa. Then when Perseus returns and is utterly heartbroken over killing Acrisius, Andromeda sees him vulnerable for the first time and starts to care for him more,
Anyways, the whole exchange of kingdoms between Megapenthes and Perseus happens off screen and they live in Tiryns now.
DanaĆ« is kinda a nice generic boy mom in this book, when Andromeda didnāt have a child for a weirdly long time, Perseus complained to DanaĆ« and he was being really gross and sexist about Andromedaās body but DanaĆ« keeps reassuring him that Andromeda is fine. Andromeda meanwhile goes to bathe in a spring in the forest every night she gets her period. Perseus wanted to cut down the forest to make their palace bigger, Andromeda isnāt too happy about this but keeps her mouth shut bc sheās a depressed doormat.
Then she meets a cyclops and steals Perseusās nachos lol
Ok first off, what Andromeda is doing here is basically slavery, these Cyclopes women would lose their home if they didnāt do what Andromeda asks of them, meanwhile in mythology, Perseus has some Seriphian Cyclopes join him on their trip to Argos and they build up his citiesā walls. We donāt know why the Cyclopes helped Perseus but considering they all lived in Seriphos then they must have been friends and they joined Perseus bc they wanted to help their bro out. Second of all its really dumb to act like the Cyclopes are some oppressed race hated and feared by humans, in fact, how the fuck did ppl centuries later know the city walls was built up by Cyclopes if it was supposed to be a secret? And why are the male and female Cyclopes treated like different species? This book is poorly thought out lol
Also Perseus would never be weirded out by Cyclopes bc he was the actual one to befriend them, not Andromeda. Also yeah the Cyclopes name is Autocthe, I donāt really care.
Chapter 21
Andromeda basically develops Stockholm syndrome for Perseus and itās justā¦. Not portrayed as a bad thing. Also sheās pregnant now and this wouldāve been a cute moment if the baby wasnāt conceived through rape.
Andromeda has what I assume is pregnancy psychosis and she has nightmares of every worse case scenario, then Perses is born. Itās really cute and all heās a rascal of a toddler but is super sweet with his mom, his first word is ānoā and I had to pause and do a quick search and apparently there wasnāt actually a word for ānoā in Ancient Greek. Someone pls confirm.
Andromeda gets pregnant again and weāre told she brought women from all over the world (theyāre slaves but the book doesnāt say it explicitly lol) and itās so fucking funny how Andromeda says she āloved womenā really? Then why was it so hard for her to love them in Aethiopia? Wasnāt she so weird that Ethiopian women were weirded out by her? Was every single Ethiopian woman there a mean girl? Yet women from other parts of the world are just fine? Does McLeod have any idea how racist this looks? Not to mention that it seems that Andromeda can only make female friends if she forces them to do something, again retelling Andromeda is pathetic, I know I sound like a Brocken record but thatās what she is.
Anyway, Andromeda gets a vision of Artemis and sneaks away into the forest to give birth in the spring water, the Cyclopes women help her and if this was some sort of divine feminine moment.
They ruined the naming of Gorgophone, why should I be surprised? lol The way the mythology was very unsubtle over why she was given that name:
Pausanias, Description of Greece 2. 21. 7 :
"In Argos, by the side of this monument of the Gorgon, is the grave of Gorgophone (Gorgon-kilIer), the daughter of Perseus. As soon as you hear the name you can understand the reason why it was given her.ā
Everything this book touches it ruins.
Chapter 22
Andromeda has 7 children (none of them are named except Perses and Gorgophone how lovely) she teaches them how to talk to birds and connect to nature and such bc of their ānaiad bloodā and Perseus is such a good dad you guys pls forget that his children only exist bc he raped their mother! Anyways Perses finds a mushroom and goes to tell his father it smells like water, Perseus takes this as a sign to name the city Mycenae. Andromedaās relationship with her children is so rushed and that becomes more infuriating to me bc Ceto and Andromeda spent waaaayyyyy to many chapters bantering at each other and it was so slow that this rushed pace for the characters who do actually matter to Andromedaā¦ itās frustrating.
Perseus and Andromeda have a really cringe sex scene and Andromeda goes on about how sheās so lucky that he became a better person after having kids and he was only a monster for some time but itās ok bc he got better :/
Then we get this, Perseus cheatingā¦ Andromeda is really fucking stupid to say she only ākeptā servants, does she give them a salary lmaoooo
And how the fuck does she know that Perseus is being honest about him treating his sex slaves well? He most certainly thought he treated her āwellā when he raped her at her wedding night??? is Andromeda so stupid to think he truly got better? And omg the Hera slander, if I didnāt know better if think this is rape apologia and patriarchal propaganda.
But you guys donāt get it their relationship got so much better that *gasp* Perseus is asking Andromeda how she feels! Such incredible character development! He notices that sheās sad during spring (ig bc Ceto died then) and he asks her whatās up but she doesnāt tell him anything.
An ambassador will arrive so they can talk about sending sending Perses to Ethiopia, Andromeda is worried bc heās such a sweet sensitive boy lol maāam, your son created an entirely new ethnicity that will become a rich and powerful empire centuries later, you donāt achieve that by being meek like you lol
Andromeda mentions that she doesnāt pray much (insane for a queen of this time period) and Perseus insists that she should go pray to Athena to ease her mind, and heās right itās crazy that she doesnāt honor the gods nearly as much as she should.
Andromeda goes to Mycenae with Perseus and apparently takes Medusaās head without his knowledge, but it isnāt explained why or how she got it, the book never focuses on important details.
Athena and Andromeda finally meet and boy Iām just as disappointed as Athena lol
The fact Athena straight up deflects Andromedaās accusation on not protecting Medusa is very telling of how McLeod really has no legs to stand on with her āfeminist rewriteā and she realizes this but instead of scrapping the idea she keeps it there bc she refuses to actually think it through and it results in Athena being stupid too. Also apparently Cassiopeia is suffering and only Andromeda can help:
This conversation must be sooooo deep if youāre stupid lmao, this is such a nothingburger aside from rescuing Cassiopeia from her hellish torture this doesnāt actually add to Andromedaās character at all and the fact that Athena pulls the ābut you didnāt askā card is even more annoying, but then again Andromeda herself admits she hardly prays to the gods so she reaps what she sows.
But I gotta ask, why did it take so long for Andromeda to learn all this? Whatās the point? Did Andromeda go through 10 years of rape and abuse for nothing? Bc I get the feeling that was only added bc McLeod realized āoh yeah sheās supposed to marry Perseus and have some important babiesā so she just completely stops the plot to do that bc apparently itās important that Andromeda gets raped before we go back to rescue Cassiopeia and the fuckass monster.
Chapter 24
You can tell Iām growing tired of this book and want to get this over with.
Autochthe helps Andromeda get to the ocean and Andromeda asks her about the lovers she mentions and the cyclops says yeah we keep that hidden bc homophobia and stuff dooooonttttt careeeee
Andromeda is taken to the ācoral kingdomā on Amphitriteās dolphin (mind you Amphitrite wanted her dead) and she gets an audience with Poseidonā¦
Donāt you see guys? The story given to us by Ancient Greeks thousands of years ago is actually FALSE they are WRONG about their OWN CULTURE and have no RIGHT to Andromedaās story! McLeod is here to reclaim whatās rightfully hers and THIS is what REALLY happened. Such arrogance lmao
Calling the nereids ācrabs in a bowlā damn the mischaracterization is everywhereā¦
Chapter 25
I just realized that Delphinus is genderbent in this book too lmaooooo
Amphitrite thanks Andromeda for saving Ceto and imma be honest with you, this book did a terrible job characterizing Amphitrite, it made her so bitchy and mean that the moments where sheās āniceā come out of nowhere rather than giving jerk with a heart of gold. Amphitrite also explains the weird rules about the Cetoās constellation and itās giving me a headache lol
The two lovebirds reunite yayyyyy some smut and purple prose later the book ends, in the epilogue Andromeda dies and she joins Ceto and Cassiopeia as constellations, how Cassiopeia isnāt angry at Ceto for throwing her under the bus and getting her tortured I do not know. Itās not gonna be so fun for them when Cepheus and Perseus join thatās for sure.
Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhh
I donāt have some angry passionate conclusion like I had with āI, Medusaā but donāt be fooled this book is worse, itās exhausting.
It fails at everything it sets out to do, even āI, Medusaā had a somewhat decent sisterhood theme, this book has fucking nothing going for it. The feminism is bad bc it romanticizes rape and grooming, the romance is bad and fails to make me care for the couple, the characters are bad with most of the female characters being bitchy and most of the male characters being predators, the plot is stupid you can poke so many wholes in it.
I am justā¦ so tired. How ppl like this book I do not know.
Well I can say now surely that I'm to old for fandoms. Watched good omens finale, felt very indifferent just because this story needed a whole season to wrap thing up nicely not an hour long movie. And this is why it was lacking the magic from previous two seasons. It felt too short, too fast, not enough. But at the same time a finish to this story. It's fine for me, it's bittersweet, kinda melancholic, but it worked for what it's worth. And yes, it's sucks that their story ended like that, after centuries of them not admitting their love and spending not that much time together, but they found each other again. That's enough for me.
So I'm to old for fandoms because I didn't expect to come here and see so much shit spilling out of "fans" (not talking about you lot who can like or dislike series endings with respect for others). The fucking irony is that this show is about humanity, about individuals, at the core of it about every connection that brings us together (and the ending solidified it once again). So to see all this shit spilling out of immature fans it's crazy. There will always be someone who takes it too far, but my god why such a big part of this community is rotten. Be sad, grieve but look at it for what it was - a love story with a beautifull representation of what it means to be a human. And a story that didn't need a kiss to solidify it. Don't take it too far, because you all represent your fandom, and hell you are making it look bad.
Really wanted to interact more, but I cannot even see edits of the finale without seeing someone whine about a kiss or a ship burried. Are you fucking for real. Look at the mirror, and think if it's really that important especially in our times when our world is experiencing Armageddon's everyday. Let the show be a escapes from reality and a remindes of what it can be, not another space to be spiteful and angry every fucking day.
Started to write some extra thoughts in the tags but quickly understood that I need to put them here for myself. Another thing. Getting back to my point (well this is a popular opinion, or a fact more.) this didn't work as a movie. What made good omens is the characters, and we cannot get good character arc without much more screen time. The magic of side characters makes good omens a fantastic show. Sad that it had to happen this way.
