Recovery Warrior

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"remember how far you've come, not just how far you have to go. You are not where you want to be, nor are you where you use to be". I relate to this quote so much and the times I feel like I'm not getting anywhere in my recovery. I think of this quote and it reminds me that yes I'm not where I want to be, but I have come a long way from where I use to be. The old me would always say no to going out to eat, or If I did go out to eat the anxiety and guilt consumed me to the point of tears. I would binge on everything until my stomach was so full it hurt, then heavily restrict/ over exercise the next day. A year ago I never thought I would get to where I am today, eating what I want, going out to eat two-three times a week. With no guilt, no second guessing, and no worrying. Exercising because I want to, not because I feel like I have to, and noticing when things are becoming bad for my mental health. Yes I still have my bad days, but I have more good ones witch help me push through the bad ones🔆

Yesterday was a roller coaster my friends, one second I was feeling good then the next I was sobbing on my floor. Sometimes the stress, anxiety, and the overthinking of it all is too much. Lately I have been feeling really ashamed of my recovery, feeling like I'm not doing as good as I should be. But lucky I was able to turn my night around and let me tell you, last night was one of those nights that reminded me why I choose recovery. That feeling of being able to relax, to go out and enjoy food. No overthinking. No guild, and no second guessing myself. Just pure enjoyment!! it literally brings me to tears because I felt "normal" and as if earlier never happened. Remember that things are as bad as your brain makes them out to be. We deserve recovery and we deserve to enjoy ourselves. Is it going to be uncomfortable? HELL FUCKING YA, but we can do it!!💜

Choosing to eat intuitively was probably was one of the best things I have done for myself in a long time. No counting, no weighting food, and no stressing over going out to eat. Escaping the numbers are possible, I promise you!!!! It is not only freeing, but it has helped me to learn, listen, love and accept my changing body.

I do a lot of Whitney Simmons YouTube workouts!

#2secondtransformation to show you that 1. Instagram is not real life and 2. Bloating happens!! It's all about lighting, angles, flexing, and literally contorting your body until you can not breathe. Today I woke up HELLA bloated to the point where trying to suck in hurt, BUT hey it happens and that's OKAY! Sometimes what you see on social media isn't always the full story, so don't beat yourself up for simply being human. You are beautiful no matter what!!! take some deep breathes and remind yourself that is this just temporary, and that tomorrow is a whole new day💕

This shirt speaks for itself👌🏻 I am a tell you that there was a time when I would never even think twice about eating avocados because they are a fatty fruit. I was so terrified of eating fats and what I thought they would do to me if I did eat them. it took me a long time throughout my recovery to realize that fat does not make you fat. When I started to introduce fat back into my daily consumption, I started to feel more clear minded and my mood increased. Then when I started to eat lots of fats throughout my day everyday, not only did I noticed that my hair and nails got stronger, but my body didn't change like I use to think it would from eating fats. I'm so happy that I have come to this place where I can eat a whole load of fats throughout my day and still feel good about myself because isn't that what life's about, feeling good?? There is more to life then obsessing over the food you eat or didn't eat. Stop letting it control you! Don't miss out on 95% of your life, just so you can weigh 5% less.

Loving and accepting your changing body is so important and frankly is something we should all celebrate! don't feel bad or let anyone els make you feel bad for loving yourself and your body. Happy and healthy looks different on everyone, no two are the same. So screw the scale, screw restricting and punishing yourself. You have done nothing wrong! You are allowed to feel good in your own skin and think you look like a bad ass bitch. Don't let a little number or something someone once said make you feel any less than the queen that you are.

A recovered body doesn't mean a recovered mind. Just because you are at a healthy weight doesn't mean that your struggles will instantly disappear. The mental part is the hardest part in recovery in my opinion and is still something I struggle with. Making the conscious decisions to get out of bed in the morning, to eat the burger instead of the salad, rest and continue to choose recovery. Sometimes overthinking things more than I would like, leaving me extremely exhausted. But nothing's easy and you need to go through the uncomfortable in order to ever be comfortable. Stopping calorie counting, body checking, comparing myself to others, and stop living a life I was miserable in. These things aren't easy, yet here I am. I no longer look in the mirror and despise what I see. I don't scroll through my feed wishing I looked like this person or that person. If we all looked the same and had the "ideal" body's none of us would be special!!! We are all beautifully unique in our own way, we don't need to change. Not one bit.

It sure is a beautiful day to be alive my friends❤️ I'm standing here more than 40 pounds heavier than the day I choose to recovery. I still can't believe I have come this far, I never thought in a million years I would stand infrount of a mirror feeling so good about myself and not instantly pick myself apart. I promise you that you are gaining more than weight! You are gaining your happiness and your life back! I know it's hard, but I know that you can do it. Don't sell yourself short!

Omg you are so sweet! I'm so proud of you! I know you can do it💕

The naam!!! It's amazing 👌🏻

Today we concord not giving a rats ass what size of pants we wear! Recovery wins don't always happen with food or the gym. Why is it anyways that we care so much about what size we are? Going up in a size doesn't MATTER because no matter what size you are, you are still going to look bomb as fuck in whatever you wear💕