fun while it lasted

✨💞🔮🧚🏻‍♀️ fairy spell 🎶🎤💗🖤🦄✨

I’ve actually been asked this question several times by other aspiring or “new” Hotwives or Hotwife-Hubbies – How do you find your dates?  When you’re in a marriage or relationship, it’s not always easy to figure out the best way to go about finding that “special Bull”, there are lots of options, but there is also a lot to consider.  When starting out in the journey, it seemed that D and I made just about every possible mistake in terms of me “finding the right guy”.  I have definitely learned a lot along the way, both about the type of guy that I like, what makes me feel safe, what makes me feel uncomfortable, what turns me on and exactly where to look to find the lucky man that gets the pleasure of being between my legs. 😊

One of the things that I learned early on is that I prefer getting to know a man a little bit before going to bed with him.  Yeah, the spontaneous encounter can be exciting, but as I’ve gotten older I’ve also gotten a little more “careful”, and I don’t really want to be raped by an axe murderer.  I also find that a chatting and a little mental stimulation is great foreplay…I’ve had some pretty sexy conversations with perspective Bulls and I can’t deny that just those conversations have led to some hot sex between D and I, as well as some great masturbation sessions!  Naturally, finding a man “online” seemed like the best choice for me, because I could see a few photos, ask questions, get a feel for if the guy seemed “real” or not, and go from there.  This leads me to some tips…  

Be Careful Using Regular Online Dating Sites

So, yeah, the first time around I used Tinder to find a guy.  It wasn’t the greatest of ideas for a few reasons.  As soon as I put up my “profile”, I immediately saw a few “matches” that I actually knew in person – small town and a little embarrassing. One of them actually turned out to be someone who I had some history with and who knew a lot of my friends – awkward.  I had to do some damage control.

 I did manage to meet a pretty nice guy – sexy, successful, a total gentleman.  He took me out to a really nice dinner at a pretty swanky little bistro in town and we had a very nice make-out session before saying goodnight.  The only problem…he didn’t know about my relationship because I thought advertising that online in a very public forum would seem odd and he really wanted to date me.  I really liked him too, he did everything right, and lying made me feel really bad.  He texted and tried to call me for weeks.  So…I learned that men needed to know about my “situation” up front and that it was safer to not use the more “public” dating sites that likely half of my town was on.

Dedicated Swinger or Lifestyle Sites Are the Best

I know, it’s not the most spontaneous or organic approach to put up a profile on an adult dating site saying that you’re a Hotwife looking for a Bull, but it does make a lot of sense and it works.  First…you will have TONS of men vying for your attention, because there is never a shortage of single men (or married men with open marriages) who are more than happy to bed a sexy Hotwife.  This gives you control over the situation, and it makes things a lot easier.  Think of looking for a man at a bar or nightclub like fishing in a lake filled with 25 different species of fish when you’re looking for just one and think of an adult dating site like fishing in a pond filled only with the same species of fish.  Everyone knows what they are there for and what they’re getting, they’re usually experienced, and they are ready to “get down”.  

Second…you can load your profile up with photos of yourself (eye candy, of course) and you can write up exactly what you’re looking for – whether it’s a gentleman for long term dating, a casual and quick encounter, a “drinks and then fuck in the backseat of the car”, whatever you like.  I also like the idea of letting a man see what I look like up front so that I know he’s into me, and I ask the same from him.  You set the terms and they’re out there for everyone to see, so there isn’t any explaining that needs to be done.  You can also see exactly what any perspective Bulls have to say about themselves, what they look like, what they’re into, etc.  This part is like window shopping…  For me, I tend to get TONS of messages, and I can “shop” through profiles to find a guy who is attractive, has a body that turns me on, and seems to “fit the bill” when it comes to what I’m looking for.

Third…you can talk a head of time.  This is good for a few reasons…it increases sexual tension and anticipation, and it also keeps everything out in the open.  The guy you’re talking to knows you’re a Hotwife, you know he’s a Bull, you’re able to tell him what you want, he’s able to tell you if he’s willing to give that to you, and if it doesn’t “gel” then you move on to the next one.  Be sure to be open and talk to your perspective Bull about all of your desires, likes, dislikes, turn-on’s and turn-off’s.  I tend to steer clear of the ones who “lead with a dick pic, because I just like things to begin a little more respectfully, although down the line it’s always nice to admire a beautiful cock that you may soon be enjoying.

Fourth…you are not likely to see your parent’s next-door neighbor on an adult site, and if you do, he’s not going to say anything, because, he’s on the site too!  It’s like being in a little club that’s a lot safer and more discreet than flirting with men at your local “corner bar” and worrying that your hairdresser is going to walk in with her boyfriend and see her married client cozying up to a young, hard-bodied stud.  

Fifth…it can happen FAST. This is one of the great things. If you’re looking for a date for next Saturday night, there are likely going to be at least a handful of eligible, attractive and excited men who will make themselves available on your schedule. Hop online, send a few messages and you’re probably going to have a date pretty quickly.  Most of these men are understanding of the “situation” too, and are willing to hang around as “friends” for future encounters.    

Meeting Guys Organically

Some women are very into this, and some Hotwife-Hubbies really think this is a huge turn on…to see their wife dress up like a sexy Vixen and go to a bar to pick up a man organically.  I’ll admit that the idea is sexy, and it’s likely to lead to a little more jealousy and pent up desire both for your encounter and for your man who is either watching or waiting at home and getting sexy text messages while you’re on the hunt.  In this case, though, you need to consider whether you’re willing to be “found out”. Are you a business professional? Do you have kids?  Would one of your fellow soccer moms lose her mind if she saw you out at a bar dressed like you’re ready to devour any man that approached you?  In my case, this would never work in my town because, 1. It’s small, 2. I’m a business owner with clients, and 3. I have family that lives in the same small town.

Also consider that meeting a man in this way allows for no vetting at all.  This can be dangerous in some cases…there are a lot of creeps out there who will hurt women physically.  You need to be safe and manage your situation at all times – don’t accept a drink from someone you don’t know, never leave a drink unattended, never go home with someone without your man knowing where you’re going, practice safe sex, etc.  

Finally, if you do want to meet a man organically or even do the “bar flirting” thing, this is a good excuse to take that mini-vacation to Las Vegas, or even drive a couple hours to the next big city, and make a weekend of it.  Get out of your home town and make sure that your man is either there with you, or you are in good contact with him.  D and I use a tracker app on our cell phones so that when I’m on a date, he can see exactly where I am, just in case something goes wrong.  

Choose Your Path and Have Fun

In the end, it’s all about being smart, safe and having a good time, right?  So, you need to figure out the best route for you and then go for it. There’s nothing worse than finally being ready to dive into being a Hotwife and then not knowing where to start to find that Bull you’re cravingI  I’ll be back on the hunt soon for my next Bull, and I’ll be going back to my comfortable little corner of the adult Internet to find him! Happy Hotwifing!