Old Days

dear alec,

where to begin…we’ve never been ones to focus our attention on something for too long, and i know you daydream a lot. you don’t grow out of that by the way, you just find a way to channel it into something you truly love doing (occasionally daydreaming while you do that too). but that’s okay, the right people will see and love you for it.

i’m sure you want to know a lot about who you will become. truthfully, i’m still figuring that out the same as you. in some ways you’ll grow up fast, so hold onto your hat. just make sure you enjoy it, feel it, be present for it. you’re going to lose some people you thought you would have in your life forever, and i know that’s a scary thought but trust me when i say it’s necessary. be patient with yourself, be kind to yourself. we’re bad at doing that, but you’re going to meet a handful of people who love you the way you should always have loved yourself. hold onto them.

don’t be embarrassed by your emotionality and sensitivity, and definitely don’t hide it away - it’s a strength, not a weakness. we’ve always been conservative of our energy and trust. sometimes that’s going to make you feel lonely, even if on the surface you’re good at meeting new people. you won’t realise for a while, but you’ve always needed a deeper connection with someone before you let yourself call them a friend. my advice - be the friend to others that you yourself seek. sometimes, all people need to connect is to notice that others are willing to as well. and stop trying to be a lads lad. we’re not into football and pints like that.

ask for help when you need it, remember you’re an autonomous person who can live their own life while being in a band, lose the skinny jeans, get your drivers license when you turn 17 because you won’t “get around to it”. call home - mum and dad really missed you in 2019.

and lastly: if this advice never reaches you, if you don’t give it even a glance, please know you’re going to be okay anyway. everything you do leads you to me, and for all of our mistakes and moments we’d rather forget, we’ve got it pretty good. and i love you.

from,

Dear young Nathan,

I still haven’t started a diary but I have faith that future us will give it a try one day. That being said this kinda feels like one so maybe this will be the start…

I sometimes wonder what you’d think of me if you and I met. I’m pretty sure we’d hit it off because I still don’t stop banging on about the Beatles (pun not intended). You’ll be happy to hear that you’re in a band full time and living in London like you always hoped.

Ok advice - Stop worrying so much. It’s your nature and you get it from dad but everything’s gonna be fine. Im in my mid 20s now and for the most part very happy. I have lots of lovely friends and I love what I do. I have ups and downs but in general I think im doing a pretty good job of figuring myself out.

Keep writing songs and make time for the people you love.

love ya idiot.

Hey little Ryan,

I’m sorry to tell you that you’re still little Ryan at 24 so you might want to eat those greens and not try squat twice your body weight at 16. No matter how juicy your ass gets. It’s not worth it. Actually maybe it is, that dumpy could get you in a pretty sick band….

All I can say is keep chasing your dreams and trusting your gut. I don’t regret working so hard but I also wouldn’t put myself under the pressure I did at times. Go easy on you.

Still try everything though. It’ll cross your mind that juggling 3 sports and 2 bands in your final year of school is ridiculous and it kind of is but because I did that I feel like I can do anything now, and if ever i’m scared of getting older I have the luxury of reminding myself how many things i’ve done and achieved through simply being up for a good time and a challenge.

If it sounds like i’m telling you to just say “yes” to everything it’s because I kinda am. However that doesn’t mean you forget that you CAN say no to people. You have to suit yourself sometimes and I still learn that the hard way now and again. Just never say no to concerts because you have football training. You end up regretting that one.

If you’re like me (i feel like you are) you’re going to want to travel the world and see more than that lovely little island we call home. So cherish your family and loved ones as much you can / as long as you can. You’re in a beautiful place right now and one day you’ll be so grateful for those people and you’ll never take them for granted because you gotta take a flight just to see em.

Try not to worry about how long it takes.. you’ll always find your voice. And when you do just keep singin’.

Little me oh where do I start 

Remember when we were little you wanted to become a doctor,you still do but music is your passion it helped you more than anything especially fine line by Harry styles

Sometimes your teenage years will not be the way you imagined you'll go through alot of crap and get hurt by people you least expect it you'll discover things that youll regret discovering and you'll meet people who you can lean on and ask for help no matter what 

High school will be fun but not fun it will not be like ‘high school musical’ it's way different and definitely more toxic also you'll go through a time in your life where you discover anxiety and depression but don't get scared people will help you along the way you'll go through alot of anxiety and panic attacks and see alot of therapists but don't worry you'll get help in the end and you'll be just fine

And remember chels well enjoy your time with her cause she's one of the people that will hurt you and you guys won't be friends anymore but don't worry you'll find others that will come to you some are weird but you'll like them

You'll stopping crushing on J and T and start crushing on somone that changes how you see yourself and loves you and treats you well but youll be too afraid to tell them how you feel sadly

And also another thing love yourself and your body cause you were created this way for a reason stop hating yourself because of other people's words but those words will convince our mom to get us braces but I doesn't always go the way you want it to go

Heyyoow shafa,

To Past Me,

Hey there, I know when i was your age I always wondered what I would be like as someone "grown-up". You thought I'd have it all figured out by now and be super confident in everything in life but that's not really the case. I realised at some point that no matter your age, nobody has it all worked out and that's ok and its something you need to stop stressing about. Everything will work out just great if you just follow your heart- well thats worked so far.. I'm still learning too. 

I know when I was your age i was always worried about fitting in and repressed sides of me but I think you'd be proud to know you chose to be happy rather than do what everyone else does. Everything made sense the moment we gave up the idea of "fitting in".

I think you'd be quite proud of who I've become. Probably a little upset I'm not tall. We're doing pretty alright :) 

Dear Cail,

This is to let you know that it gets better. I'm not saying that life is perfect right now but you have to trust me when i say you're happy. 

God, theres so much to tell you! I'm going to start by saying that you've found your people, most of them have been right there all along and one you find. They're the best, trust me. There's a lot coming your way, you lose people who were important to you but you keep them in your heart and learn as you go.

You're really loud now btw, you go out a lot and hangout with people! Oh and that One Direction phase you're going through? Yeah, it doesn't end. So far, I've checked a lot of off our to-do list for your teen years. Except leaving the country, you still don't have a passport. I'm proud to tell you that I think of you a lot and I'm trying my best to live the way you wanted me to. if I was asked who inspired me the most now, I'd say you. 

My advice to you — Share your feelings with people you trust, they can help! Take risks, make friends, have fun but don't ever try to change yourself for someone and DEFINITELY don't listen to people when they make comments about you, they're no one to talk. Like Taylor said, "Never be so polite you forget your power, Never weild such power you forget to be polite." You're so cool kid.

 I need you to remember this and trust when i say:

It's not your fault. It never was. 

I hope I live up to your (very high) expectations because you deserve nothing less.

All my love,