The world as I see it

Hi, hello, boy from room 501!

A month ago, I would’ve wanted to ask you a lot of things. To demand explanations. To ask for a decent closure. But right now, well...

I love you. I still do. But thank you for hurting me in a way that I have finally woken up. The love I had for you was killing me. Don’t get me wrong, love. I do not blame you. I made that choice of loving you too much and loving myself too little. 

Loving you was everything. Losing you made me feel like nothing. I was bitter. I was angry. I never liked being bitter and angry. Not at you anyway. So I gave myself time to be sad, angry, and everything that is there to feel. I have finally learned to let go of our past, of our present and of the future I had built for us. For 5 years or so, no one else was painted in my future. It was just you. Maybe that was what made me more bitter than ever. The thought and feeling of losing direction, of losing something to hope for. I am sorry for the time that I cursed your existence. :)

I will keep on praying for you. For you to be happy. For you to find yourself. I will always be here for you. No matter what. Keep your head high. All the best, Tim.

Love,

1.  Life has been messy for you. But you’re still here. You haven’t given up yet.

For that I am, proud of you.

2. Stop forgetting who you are. You are beautiful. No matter what they say. (pun intended)

3. Go home every once in awhile. You are already missing too much from the lives of people who actually matter in your life.

4. You’ll heal. Someday, One day, these wounds will no longer ache the way they do now. They’ll be lessons learned. 

5. Learn to appreciate everything. That includes your own self.

6. Take care of yourself. Stop waiting for people to take care of your. Drink lots of water, take Vitamins, sleep adequately and eat healthily.

7. Stop forgetting to check up on your family. They are the ones who are genuinely glad that you are alive. 

8. Never forget to pray. 

9. Do the things that make you happy. 

I have been so angry at you for so long. And that anger has slowly become home to me. It is making me difficult to let go of all of these. I am sorry for not being able to let my walls down. I am sorry for being incapable of letting you in again. I am trying dad. But the pain and the anger has been so familiar that it has become a part of who I am. 

I am in this point in my life where I am trying to find that little girl who used to never be afraid to brace the world because I was holding your hand.

I will find her, dad. And when that time comes, I hope you’re still waiting for me to come home.

I love you. Always and Forever.

There are a number of people we meet each day. Some of them become our friends, some of them are just passers by and some of them, a really really really few of them, stay in your life forever.

Supermarkets. Banks. LBC. Zamcelco. Water District. PLDT. Your House.

These are our date places. Because we were never the type of friends who plans things or do grandiose dates. HA! We run errands together. We do boring stuff together. We bully each other. We laugh at each other. With you, I never had to pretend. With you, I can be a plain boring person without the fear of losing you as a friend.

You are one of the most amazing and wonderful people I have ever met. You are the happiest sad person I know. HAHA. Please continue spreading your love to people because God knows it's an anchor that keeps us from giving up and just sailing away.

My love, I am deeply thankful for having you. You are the most genuine friend I have. You are my best friend. You are my person.

I am here and will always be here for you.

I am so proud of you. Always.

I love you, @katharsi

I miss you.