an: part 2 hehe. hope you lovely people enjoy, been brainstorming some more fics for jermajesty but idk how yall view him, so i'm hesitant, idk how would y'all feel about a toxic jermajesty fic call 911. lmk lmk lmk. anyways, happy reading <3
You barely slept. Every time you closed your eyes, you found yourself back on the patio.
“You deserve somebody who chooses you.”
“You should probably go home.”
“Ask question you already know the answer to.”
The worst part was that you couldn’t stop thinking about Jermajesty. You hated yourself for it. With a groan, you rolled onto your back and stared at the ceiling.
The red numbers on your alarm clock mocked you. 6:43 AM. You'd gotten maybe three hours of sleep. Maybe.
Eventually, you gave up and dragged yourself out of bed. The apartment was quiet.
You shuffled into the kitchen and started a pot of coffee, hoping caffeine could somehow fix whatever was wrong with you. It couldn't. You wrapped your hands around a mug and stared blankly out the window. Lost in thought. So lost that you didn't hear your boyfriend enter the room.
He glanced at you as he crossed the kitchen.
"Didn't mean to scare you."
He grabbed a mug from the cabinet. You waited. For him to notice. The dark circles under your eyes. The fact that you looked exhausted. The fact that you'd barely said two words. Anything.
Instead, he poured himself coffee.
"Got an early meeting today."
"Probably gonna be another late night."
Something inside you sank.
Your boyfriend glanced at his watch. Already distracted. Already somewhere else.
"I'll try not to be too late."
Try. The same word he'd been using for months.
You stared down into your coffee.
He leaned over and pressed a quick kiss against your forehead. Then he was gone. Just like that. The house fell silent again. You listened to the sound of the front door closing. Then the sound of his car pulling away. And suddenly the place felt too big. Too empty.
Your phone buzzed against the counter. You looked down. A text message. Your stomach immediately twisted. Because somehow you already knew who it was.
Jer: You make it home okay?
The timestamp read 6:15 AM. You stared at the message. Then at the clock. Then back at the message. A laugh escaped you.
He'd sent it almost thirty minutes ago. Probably the moment he'd woken up. Just to make sure you'd gotten home safely.
Yet your chest tightened anyway.
Because it shouldn't have felt this significant.
It shouldn't have mattered.
You looked down at the screen again. At the concern tucked inside seven simple words. And before you could talk yourself out of it, your thumbs moved.
The typing bubble appeared almost immediately.
You couldn't help the smile that tugged at your lips.
Because apparently even through a phone screen, Jermajesty still knew exactly when something was wrong.
You stared at the message for a moment. Then shook your head. A smile pulling at your lips despite yourself.
The typing bubble appeared immediately.
A surprised laugh escaped you. You quickly typed back.
His response came almost instantly.
Jer: And you're deflecting.
The smile faded from your face. For a second, all you could do was stare at the screen. Because you knew what he was doing.
Making sure you were okay.
Something your boyfriend hadn't done once this morning.
The thought made guilt immediately crawl into your chest. You hated comparing them. But lately it seemed impossible not to.
Jer: Eat something today.
Jer: And don't tell me you already did because I know you didn't.
You: Why are you acting like my mom?
You shook your head. A genuine smile finally breaking through. Then another message appeared. This one slower. Like he'd thought about it first.
Jer: You got plans tonight?
You stared at the question. Then at the empty kitchen around you. The untouched coffee. The quiet house. The promise your boyfriend had made less than an hour ago.
"Probably gonna be another late night."
The typing bubble appeared. Disappeared. Appeared again. You could practically see him debating with himself.
Jer: Jafaar’s making everybody come over tonight.
Your eyes narrowed immediately.
You: Is Jafaar making everybody come over?
Several seconds passed. Longer than usual.
Jer: That's not the point.
Jermajesty wanted to see you. And judging by how terrible he was at pretending otherwise, he knew you knew it too.
For the first time all morning, the heaviness in your chest eased. Just a little.
Until your phone buzzed one last time.
Jer: Seriously though. Come by.
Your smile slowly faded. Because you wanted to. Way more than you should have. And that was becoming a problem.
You stared at the message. Thumb hovering over the screen. It would've been so easy to say yes. Too easy. That was what scared you.
A few weeks ago, there would've been no hesitation. Jermajesty was your friend. One of your closest friends. Going over to the Jackson estate wouldn't have meant anything.
Now every interaction felt loaded. Every text felt heavier than it should. Every conversation left you thinking about it hours later. You hated that. Because you had a boyfriend. And despite everything, you still loved him. Didn't you?
The question surfaced before you could stop it. You immediately shoved it away. Of course you did. You had to. Your phone buzzed again.
Jer: That sounded less desperate in my head.
A laugh escaped you despite yourself.
You: You're terrible at lying.
Your stomach twisted. Because there was something unusually honest about that answer.
Like he knew exactly what you were talking about.
Like he knew he wasn't hiding anything very well anymore.
You stared at the screen. Then locked your phone. Setting it face down on the counter. You needed space. Needed to think.
The response took longer this time. Long enough that you almost set your phone down again.
You knew immediately that was a lie. Jermajesty wasn't apologizing for inviting you over. He wasn't apologizing for texting you.
He was apologizing for making things complicated. For saying things he shouldn't have. For feelings neither of you had actually acknowledged. The realization sat heavily in your chest.
The typing bubble appeared instantly.
Jer: You don't even know what I'm apologizing for.
Your breath caught. Neither of you were talking about the invitation anymore. And you both knew it. You stared at the message.
Because for the first time since last night, it felt like the two of you were standing on the edge of something. One wrong word. One moment of weakness. And there would be no pretending anymore.
Your fingers hovered over the keyboard. But before you could decide what to say, your phone rang.
The sudden sound nearly made you jump. You glanced down at the screen. Your boyfriend's name flashed across it. The knot in your stomach immediately returned. And just like that, reality came crashing back. Your thumb hovered over the screen.
For a second, you considered letting it ring. Just long enough to collect yourself. Just long enough to push Jermajesty's messages out of your head.
Your boyfriend sounded distracted. Like he'd called in the middle of doing three other things. You closed your eyes.
"Listen, I'm probably gonna be even later than I thought."
Of course. It hadn’t even been an hour.
The disappointment hit before he even finished the sentence.
You hated that it wasn't surprising anymore.
"I know we talked this morning, but my meeting ran over and now they're asking me to stay for another project."
You leaned against the kitchen counter. Staring out the window.
The response came automatically. The same response you'd given a hundred times before.
You weren't sure what you'd expected.
Maybe some sign that he knew this mattered.
Instead, he sounded relieved. Like you'd solved the problem for him. The knot in your chest tightened.
"You know," you said quietly.
Then forced yourself to continue.
"I don't think you've been home for dinner once this week."
The silence on the other end stretched. Not long. Just long enough.
There it was. The answer you already knew was coming.
"Then why are we doing this again?"
The words hit harder than they should have. Because it was the exact same thing he'd said yesterday. Like your feelings were a repetitive conversation he'd already finished having. You pressed your lips together. Suddenly exhausted.
The thought remained trapped inside your head.
The words came automatically.
You waited for the familiar warmth that usually followed.
Instead, all you felt was guilt.
The line disconnected. You lowered the phone slowly. Staring at the dark screen. The house felt impossibly quiet.
For a long moment, you didn't move. Then your gaze drifted upward. To the notifications still sitting on your screen.
Jer: You don't even know what I'm apologizing for.
The message seemed different now.
Your boyfriend had called. Reality had come crashing back. And somehow it only made everything more obvious. You sank onto one of the kitchen stools. Phone still clutched in your hand.
Because for the first time, you found yourself wondering something you'd spent months refusing to ask. Not whether your boyfriend loved you. You knew he did. In his own way.
The question was whether love was supposed to feel this lonely. And once that thought entered your head, it refused to leave.
Hours later, after trying to distract yourself from the question that lingered in your head, your phone buzzed. As if on cue.
Your heart jumped before you could stop it. You already knew who it was.
Just straight to the point.
Your thumb hovered over the screen. You should say no. You knew that. You should stay home. Give yourself space. Figure out your relationship. Figure out your feelings.
Do literally anything except spend more time around the one person making those feelings harder to ignore. Instead, you started typing.
You: Is everybody there already?
The reply came immediately.
You: Answer the question.
Another message appeared.
Jer: But if you come, I promise I won't say anything dramatic.
You stared at the screen. Then looked around your empty apartment. The untouched dinner sitting in your fridge. The quiet. The loneliness. The feeling of waiting for someone who was never actually coming.
Your chest tightened. Because suddenly you realized something. You weren't choosing between your boyfriend and Jermajesty.
You were choosing between sitting alone with your thoughts all night...
Or spending a few hours with people who actually wanted you there.
That realization made the decision a little easier. You grabbed your keys. And before you could change your mind, you texted back.
You: I'll be there in twenty.
The typing bubble appeared instantly.
You stared at the message. A strange ache settling in your chest. Because it shouldn't have felt special. It was such a small thing. Three simple words.
Yet somehow they felt more genuine than every promise your boyfriend had made all week.
And that thought scared you more than anything else.
The drive over felt shorter than usual. Maybe because your mind wouldn't stop racing. Maybe because every red light gave you another chance to turn around. You considered it more than once.
The Jackson estate came into view far sooner than you would've liked. Warm lights glowed through the windows. Music drifted faintly from inside. The sight should've been comforting. Instead, it made your stomach twist. Because suddenly this felt like a terrible idea.
You sat in your parked car for a moment. Hands still on the steering wheel. Staring at the front door. You could still leave. Nobody would know.
Your phone buzzed. You didn't even have to look.
Jer: You been sitting in that driveway for three minutes.
Your eyes widened. Immediately looking toward the house. Sure enough, a figure was visible through one of the front windows. Watching.
You couldn't help the laugh that escaped you.
The response came instantly.
Despite yourself, the knot in your chest loosened.
The front door opened before you even reached it.
Jermajesty stepped aside to let you in.
The familiar scent of food and the sound of overlapping conversations immediately greeted you.
The exact opposite of the apartment you'd left behind. Something in your chest eased before you could stop it. Jermajesty noticed. Of course he did.
His gaze lingered on you for half a second.
A voice called from the living room.
Jafaar appeared around the corner holding a drink.
"Look who decided to stop ignoring us."
Jafaar pointed directly at Jermajesty.
The warning in Jermajesty's voice was immediate. Jafaar looked completely unbothered.
"He checked the driveway like six times."
Your jaw dropped. Jermajesty's face immediately twisted into annoyance.
The room erupted into laughter.
For the first time in what felt like weeks, the sound came easily.
And as the laughter settled around you, you caught Jermajesty watching.
Like hearing you happy was enough. The realization hit hard. Harder than it should have. So you looked away first. Pretending your heart hadn't just skipped a beat.
While everyone was hanging out, your phone started ringing. The sound barely registered at first over the noise of the room.
Jafaar was arguing with somebody over a card game. A few people were crowded around the kitchen island. Music hummed quietly from a speaker somewhere.
For the first time all week, you weren't thinking.
Your boyfriend's name flashed across the screen.
The small bubble of comfort you'd been sitting in all evening immediately cracked.
His eyes flickered toward your phone. Then back to your face. He didn't ask who it was. He already knew.
"Go ahead," he said quietly.
Stepping away from the group and slipping out onto the back patio. The cool air hit your skin immediately.
You answered on the third ring.
His voice sounded distant.
The same way it always did lately. You leaned against the railing.
"I just wanted to let you know I probably won't be home tonight."
Something in your chest sank.
Not because you were surprised. Because you weren't. Because it had become so normal.
"You don't sound shocked."
You stared out into the dark yard.
"I told you this project was important."
The question almost made you laugh. Not because it was funny. Because suddenly it felt ridiculous.
You'd tried to tell him what was wrong. More than once. He just hadn't wanted to hear it. Your grip tightened around your phone.
"Can we not do this right now?"
Your eyebrows pulled together.
His tone sharpened slightly.
"Every conversation lately feels like a problem."
The thing you'd been avoiding. The thing Jermajesty had been trying to tell you.
Not that your boyfriend didn't love you.
But that somewhere along the way, caring about your feelings had started feeling like a chore to him.
The realization hurt. More than you expected.
You looked down at your shoes.
At the cracks between the patio stones.
At anything except the tears threatening to gather in your eyes.
"When was the last time we had a conversation that wasn't about your job?"
The question slipped out before you could stop it.
Neither did you. That was the problem.
For a second, neither of you spoke.
The music from inside drifted faintly through the door.
Meanwhile, your relationship felt like it was hanging by a thread.
The words came out softer this time.
The response wasn't immediate.
And somehow that hurt most of all.
"I don't know what you want me to say."
Your eyes closed. Because that was it. That was the moment.
Pure, overwhelming exhaustion.
You'd spent months asking for the bare minimum. And he still looked at you like you were speaking another language.
A tear slipped down your cheek.
You wiped it away quickly.
"I think that's the problem."
"I don't think you see one."
The silence that followed was deafening. And for the first time, neither of you had an excuse left to hide behind. The silence stretched. Long enough that you wondered if the call had dropped.
Finally, your boyfriend spoke.
"What are you trying to say?"
Just tired. And somehow that made it worse. Because you were tired too. So unbelievably tired.
You stared out into the darkness beyond the patio railing.
Anything except the truth waiting in your throat.
For months you'd been convincing yourself things would get better. That work would slow down. That he'd have more time. That eventually you'd stop feeling lonely in your own relationship. But standing there now, you realized something.
You couldn't remember the last time you actually believed that.
"I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this."
The words came out barely above a whisper.
You laughed softly. A broken sound. Because of course he was asking now. Now.
After all the conversations. After all the nights you'd spent waiting. After all the times you'd tried to tell him.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
Disbelief flood through you.
The words escaped before you could stop them. Your boyfriend went quiet. And suddenly neither of you had anywhere left to hide.
"I told you when you missed my birthday."
"I told you when you stopped coming home for dinner."
"I told you yesterday when I said I missed you."
A shaky breath escaped you.
"And every time, you made me feel like I was asking for too much."
The tears came before you could stop them.
You wiped at them angrily.
Hating how relieved you felt just saying it out loud.
For the first time in months, you weren't protecting his feelings. You weren't minimizing your own. You were just being honest.
Your boyfriend sighed. And somehow you knew. Before he even spoke. You knew.
"I didn't realize it was this bad."
The words should have made you feel better. They didn't. Because that was the problem. It had been this bad for a long time. He just hadn't noticed. You squeezed your eyes shut. A fresh wave of sadness washing over you.
Not because you hated him.
Not because he was a bad person.
But because you loved him.
And that hadn't been enough.
Your voice was barely audible.
The question settled heavily between you. You looked back toward the house. Warm light spilled through the windows. You could hear laughter from inside. For a brief second, your gaze caught a familiar figure standing near the glass door.
He was deliberately looking somewhere else.
The sight made something ache in your chest. You looked away. Back toward the dark yard. Back toward the conversation that had been coming for months. Then you swallowed. And finally said the thing you'd been avoiding.
"I think we've been letting this end for a while."
The silence that followed felt endless.
No promises to suddenly become different.
And for the first time in a while, the two of you finally agreed on something.
Neither of you spoke. There wasn't really anything left to say.
Just two people standing on opposite ends of a phone call, finally admitting what they'd both been avoiding.
Your boyfriend exhaled softly.
The words were genuine. You knew they were. That almost made them harder to hear. Because they came too late.
Not because he didn't care.
Just because somewhere along the way, the relationship had stopped being enough for either of you. A tear slipped down your cheek. You didn't bother wiping it away this time.
The words sounded like goodbye.
The line stayed connected for another second.
Neither of you willing to be the one to hang up first.
You lowered the phone slowly. Staring at the dark screen. Waiting for some overwhelming feeling to hit.
Instead, all you felt was tired. So unbelievably tired. The kind of tired that settled deep in your bones. The kind that came from holding something together long after it had started falling apart.
You leaned against the patio railing and let out a shaky breath. The tears came quietly. Not because you regretted it. Because you were hurt.
You weren't sure how long you stood there. A few minutes. Maybe longer.
The patio door slid open behind you. You didn't turn around. You already knew who it was. The footsteps were familiar.
Jermajesty stopped beside you.
For a while, neither of you spoke. The silence wasn't uncomfortable. It never had been.
The question was simple. But unlike every other time someone had asked it, this time it felt like he genuinely wanted the answer.
A watery, exhausted sound.
Jermajesty nodded. Like that was exactly what he'd expected. Like he wasn't looking for you to pretend.
The night settled around the two of you again. You stared out into the darkness. Trying to process the fact that your relationship had just ended. Trying to process the fact that tomorrow would look different. That everything would.
Beside you, Jermajesty rested his forearms against the railing.
Not taking advantage of the moment.
And somehow that made your eyes burn all over again.
Because after everything that had happened. After all the arguments. All the late nights. All the excuses. All the loneliness.
The person who showed up was still him.
Jermajesty was already looking at you.
His expression softened immediately.
Like seeing tears in your eyes physically hurt him.
Your chest tightened. Because suddenly you understood what he'd been trying to tell you all along.
Not that he was better. Not that he had all the answers. Just that love wasn't supposed to feel lonely. And standing beside him now, it didn't.
The realization settled softly. Not all at once.
Suddenly everything felt a little too real.
The breakup. The tears still drying on your cheeks. Jermajesty standing beside you. The fact that tomorrow would be different.
His shoulder bumped yours lightly.
The gesture was familiar.
You smiled despite yourself.
The kind you'd been searching for without realizing it.
Jermajesty's gaze dropped briefly before returning to yours.
"You don't gotta figure everything out tonight."
Your chest tightened. Because of course that's what he would say.
The night air shifted around you. The laughter inside continued. Life moving forward. And for the first time in months, the future didn't feel like something to dread.
The patio had grown quieter.
Most of the tears had stopped.
The ache in your chest remained, but it felt different now.
Jermajesty hadn't left your side once.
The silence stretched comfortably between you. Until your phone buzzed. Both of your eyes dropped to it automatically.
The lockscreen lit up. A notification. Nothing important.
But when you reached for it, your fingers brushed Jermajesty's.
The contact lasted less than a second. Barely anything. Yet both of you froze. Your hand immediately pulled back.
You both spoke at the same time.
And for a moment neither of you could stop smiling.
"There you go," he muttered.
His gaze dropped briefly before returning to yours.
"Haven't heard it much lately."
The teasing tone was gone. Your smile faltered. Because somehow that hurt. Not in a bad way. In a truthful way.
Jermajesty noticed immediately.
"You apologize too much."
"That's rich coming from you."
You couldn't even argue. The corner of his mouth lifted. Then his expression softened. And suddenly the air felt different again.
Your stomach twisted. Because there it was. That thing. That feeling. The one neither of you seemed willing to name.
Jermajesty's eyes drifted to yours.
Then immediately back up.
So quick you almost convinced yourself you'd imagined it.
A muscle jumped in his jaw.
"I'm trying real hard to be respectful right now."
Your heart nearly stopped.
The confession slipped out so casually. So honestly. Like he hadn't meant to say it out loud.
Jermajesty immediately looked annoyed with himself.
You stared. He stared at the yard.
Mostly because your pulse was suddenly doing something concerning.
The word came out strained. You looked down.
Beside you, Jermajesty shook his head.
"Makin' my life difficult."
And this time, when you glanced over, he was smiling too.
Not because anything had been solved.
Not because either of you knew what happened next.
Just because, for the first time in a long time, the future felt like it might hold something worth waiting for.
Maybe it would hurt for a while.
Maybe healing would take longer than you'd like.
Maybe there were still conversations left to have.
But standing there beneath the porch lights, with the weight of the past finally beginning to lift from your shoulders, one thing felt certain.
You deserved to be chosen.
taglist! (i keep forgetting this part)
@swiftandmj @ogswaggyunicorn @swavydadon @vict-oryy
snowghoul
annaxmalina
discoholicmusic
turnnoffyourmind
origamiaround
