You Can't Break What's Broken

Jasper snorted a laugh. “Well, yeah. Probably both. But I didn’t encourage you to do every questionable thing. My only suggestion was to enjoy some junk food. I didn’t tell you to do heroin.” He shrugged. “I hate basically everyone, so you’ll just be with the majority.”

“Right, sometimes I forget ‘cause usually most people want me there for the free weed, not my gorgeous face. And we are the best. No one even comes close to the two of us. I try, I try so hard. All I wanted was to make you proud,” he joked, looking down to avoid breaking his straight face. “Hey, you didn’t offend me. I was just saying you gotta give these lady pirates some credit.” He let out a booming laugh at her joke. “I can’t believe you went there, but I’m so glad you did.”

Azalea just laughed at that, shaking her head a little. She pushed some hair out of her face, running her fingers through the strands. She returned his smile and nodded at his question. “I get it. And I think you do make a really good impression. And you make people happy. I mean, I’ve been miserable for weeks and you got me to laugh, so you’re doing pretty damn good for yourself,” she told him with a shrug. She just wanted him to know that he wasn’t wasting his efforts and that his work was paying off. He was doing what he wanted to do and she hoped he knew that. She chuckled. “Food and good times are the only reasons anyone does anything. The whole world revolves around those two very things,” she told him. “Exactly! No shady dealings allowed at our happy little occasion,” she joked, unable to keep a straight face about the whole situation. It was just such a weird place for a conversation to go. Az gently patted Jer’s hand when he put on her shoulder and gave him a small smile as her way of saying thanks. She appreciated the sentiment behind it and it did help a little, but really, this weird feeling wasn’t going to go away soon. She hated talking about this and the only reason she wasn’t stopping the conversation was the fact that she knew not talking about emotions only let them grow and get worse. Even if it was hard and even if it sucked, she had to talk about it or it was never, ever going to get fixed. She chuckled when Jer did a voice to imitate Nate’s, feeling a little better. Honestly, what he said surprised her a little. She hadn’t realized the effect she’d had on Nate. She didn’t know what to say in response and she was more than a little relieved when Jer started talking again. This way she had some time to try and process all of this. “No, it made sense. It did. It’s just, I dunno, not what I was expecting. But it makes sense. It really does. And I appreciate you telling me all of it, it kind of helped piece together some stuff for me. So thank you for telling me.  And I will talk to him. Because I do miss him. A lot. It’s just…I guess I never really got his side of this whole thing so I never wanted to deal with. Seriously, I probably wouldn’t have ever really tried to fix this if you hadn’t have said something because I wouldn’t have known where to start. You just saved the day, Jer. You really did,” she said, gently resting her hand on his arm with a small smile. She frowned, thinking about what happened when she came in. “Nate didn’t, like, sneak out the back or anything when he saw me, did he?” she asked, trying to look around the party for him. 

“Just my face? Not my good stash or anything like that? And of course we’ll have fun. We’re us, when do we not have fun? I’ll save you from the killer heels, promise. Then you’re welcome for noticing, I guess? No, you wouldn’t be my wench! What is that? Fuck that. I’m offended by the notion. You’d be my lady co-captain who just happens to want to show off her legs. Because really, who’s gonna step to a lady about being immodest when she could kill you?” 

[text] Okay but what region do flamingos even live in?? I have no idea where they’re native to. Florida??? [text] You know, it didn’t sound that creepy to me until you sent that message and then I reread it and yeah, it was a little creepy. [text] Nursing home scandals sounded exciting but then it was just ‘old people doing it’ and now I’m both disappointed and grossed out. [text] She’s derpy but I think I like it.

“Better the processed shit than no food at all. Isn’t college when you’re supposed to eat crap and just enjoy it?” He rolled his eyes. “Don’t get too crazy there now. Friends is a little strong. More like maybe I won’t hate you afterwards.”

“I’m always down to party, you should know this by now. And I think 9 should be perfect. We can even pregame a little if you want if we meet up then. Of course, I noticed. I have eyes, don’t I? I’m going as a pirate. I got one of those deluxe costumes. You know, you could be sexy pirate lady. We could go get your a costume right now.”

Azalea laughed at his joke. “What can I say? I’m nothing if not humble,” she played along, giving him her best innocent smile. It was nice to just joke around with someone, anyone really. Everyone seemed to be walking on eggshells around her, it was a breath of fresh air to get treated like a normal human being. “That’s awesome! I’m sure they’ll write you a really great letter. I mean, how could they have anything bad to say about you?” she asked. Jer was a great guy. He was funny and nice and just seemed so genuine. She didn’t know him all that well, but she’d always liked him. He was just one of those people who made a great impression right away. She snorted a little at that. “Yes! Everyone could make something and pass it, make sure everyone takes a little of everything to keep it truly neutral. Wouldn’t want to turn into a hostile country potluck,” she teased. Azalea tossed her phone back and forth between her hands once more. It was just such an awkward situation, there was no way around it. She felt bad pouring it all out like that on Jer, she was sure it put him in a sort of weird spot, but he’d offered to listen and she had to get it out. She watched Jer’s reaction to the news, a bit surprised by it all. Had Nate not told Jer what had gone down? She hadn’t meant to spill the beans or turn it into some big thing, she’d assumed he’d have known. She listened as he told her what he thought about the whole situation, fidgeting the whole time to try and keep her emotions in check. She was torn about the whole thing. On the one hand, her feelings for Nate hadn’t gone anywhere, even after all that had happened. But on the other hand, something about forgiving him after that made her feel like she was being unfair to herself. Jer’s last comment made her feel a little better about the whole thing. Whatever she chose was okay at the end of the day because it would be whatever she felt was right. “It’s the real deal with me?” she asked, looking up at Jer. “’Cause I have to say, a part of me has been hoping things would change too,” she admitted. No matter how fucked up things had gotten, Nate was the one person who understand better than she did herself. She really missed him and it really sucked to not have him around. She knew things were weird and messy but if Jer was right about her being the real deal and all that, maybe it was worth it to try and fix things. Especially since she was pretty sure he was the real deal for her.

“Do you even need to ask? Of course I’m in. We’re dressing up right? Please say yes because I’ve already got a costume and I’m sure you’ll look killer in whatever slutted up thing you’re dressing up as. Unless you don’t do that. Which is cool. Disappointing because you’ve got great legs, but totally something I respect.”

“So you know that Halloween party at the haunted house over on James? Well, I may or may not have gotten some tickets and I want you to go with me. You in or what?”