neurodivergence headcanons

Hey all. My name’s Katey and boy oh boy do I hate doing this.

I’m moving out to Michigan, which is my dream, to live with a friend. My Poppy is severely ill and I want to live near him as long as possible.

For some unknown reason, my naive self assumed my parents would be helping me with the move, because my dad sure never said otherwise. But instead they’re now telling me they cannot afford the moving truck. Yelling at me for it. And I sure cannot afford it.

Basically, I’m looking for any amount of money right now. The moving truck is $1,200 and I’ve got about $150-$200 I can reasonably put towards that. My parents haven’t said how much they can. So I need to raise the rest. My best friend has offered me a loan for a bit but I’d like to raise as much as possible.

Please help. I just want to get away from the constant fighting with my parents and support the family that loves me. I already signed a lease for a place. I just need the money. So please.

- My paypal is: https://www.paypal.me/kateybird

- My venmo is below

- You can reblog this post (PLEASE)

- Every $5 does count, I promise. I can offer up fan fics and moodboards and I’ll make insanely well balanced DND characters. Anything for the money, please please please.

Venmo:

Since I made a post a while ago claiming that Zuko was autistic, some people have been asking for the “proof.” It seems fitting for me to provide said proof now, since it’s autism acceptance month. I’m going to try to be as comprehensive as I can, but if anyone has anything to add, feel free to do so! That said, please do not come on here to tell me that Zuko is not autistic. This is my headcanon, and these are all the things about Zuko that I relate to as an autistic person. 

Alright, buckle up, kids, because Zuko is autistic af and I’m coming with all the receipts - and there are a lot of them. 

Let’s start from the beginning. A lot of austistic people develop tactics early on that help us to ‘pass’ as allistic. When unsure of how to act in certain social situations, Zuko tends to mirror Azula. When he was younger, he was shown copying her sense of humor. 

He threw a rock at a baby turtle duck and laughed, saying that this is how Azula feeds turtle ducks. Because Azula thought it was funny, he assumed his mom would think it was funny, too. It wasn’t until Ursa asked, “Why would you do that?” that Zuko even considered it might not be universally funny. 

Zuko is shown laughing at things Azula thinks are funny more than once as a child. If Azula is not laughing directly at Zuko, he usually joins in on the laughter, even if he doesn’t understand the joke. 

Another time Zuko tried to copy Azula was after she demonstrated her skills to their grandfather, Fire Lord Azulon. Zuko immediately attempted to demonstrate his own skills, even though he was not prepared. 

Another thing that some autistic people struggle with is gross motor skills. When Zuko tried to prove to his grandfather that he was as skilled as Azula, he tripped both times he attempted to fire bend. He has obviously improved since that moment, but it took him a long time to do that. 

“You have yet to master your basics. Drill it again.”

Zuko was at sea for three years with Iroh, seemingly doing nothing but training to get strong enough to capture the avatar. After three years, he was still working on his basics, as Iroh points out. Other benders have been shown to become masters much quicker than Zuko. Katara became a waterbending master after one episode. Aang mastered all four elements in the span of about a year. By the age of 12, Toph was already an earthbending master, and she taught herself. Zuko has had to work a lot harder than them to properly control his gross motor skills. It isn’t until he’s mastered his basics that he is able to progress as a bender. 

Since Ozai was obviously not the most supportive parent, Zuko may have had to figure out other ways to hide his autism. 

Another tactic he used was to practice social interactions before they happened. In this scene, he is shown giving a practice performance to a frog:

“The thing is, I have a lot of fire bending experience, and I’m considered to be pretty good at it. Well, you’ve seen me. You know, when I was attacking you?” 

Obviously, this practice session was necessary, because Zuko said plenty of things here that could have easily further escalated the situation. 

Even while using tools like mirroring or practicing social interaction, we all have moments where things might just feel a little off to allistic people. 

Empathy

A lot of autistic people feel empathy differently than allistic people. Some of us might not feel empathy, some might experience hyper empathy, and some might just have a hard time expressing empathy. I suspect Zuko is leaning towards low empathy, or has trouble expressing empathy. 

Exhibit A: 

“My first girlfriend turned into the moon.”

“That’s rough, buddy.” 

Notice how Zuko found it easier to talk about himself. He answered Sokka’s questions about Mai, and the conversation was moving along smoothly. It wasn’t until Sokka shared personal information about himself that Zuko seemed to be out of words. 

Exhibit B:

Toph just told Zuko that her parents gave her everything she ever asked for, but not the one thing she really wanted: their love. 

Zuko spends half of this conversation looking the other way. When he does look at her, notice his expression. He probably has no idea why she is telling him this, so he doesn’t know how to respond. And on top of that, he was under the impression that they were supposed to be looking for Aang. 

A lot of autistic people have what you might call a one track mind (which I’ll get more into later). It’s hard for us to switch focus from one thing to another. 

Toph wanted to partner with Zuko because she wanted a life changing field trip, but Zuko just wanted to find Aang. He was able to have ‘life changing field trips’ with Aang, Katara, and Sokka because he was actively focused on helping them with their specific problems. He had time to mentally prepare to help them. There was careful planning involved in each of those missions. He can’t help Toph in this moment, because her problem is conflicting with the problem they already have: finding Aang.

In both of the examples above, Zuko acknowledges the hardships that Sokka and Toph went through. “That’s rough buddy” and “I know you had a rough childhood.” This may be his way of trying to show compassion, even though it might come across as cold. 

Zuko takes things at face value

Catching things like sarcasm, body language, metaphors, and ‘reading between the lines’ can be difficult for autistic people. This also gives us a reputation for being gullible, because it can be difficult to tell when someone is lying without being able to read the cues. 

The first and most obvious example of this is what Zuko’s entire arc revolves around: 

Capturing the Avatar

Ozai had just fought his own son, a 13 year old, in an Agni Kai. He burned Zuko’s face, intentionally causing permanent damage, and then banished him. All of this because Zuko spoke out of turn. At the time that Zuko was banished, the Avatar hadn’t been spotted for over 100 years. 

Knowing all of that, it seems likely to me that Ozai was being cruel and sarcastic when he said that Zuko could come back after capturing the Avatar. It would be like saying “when pigs fly,” since at that point the Avatar was thought to have been gone forever. 

Iroh, of course, knows this. That’s why in the beginning of the series, he kept reminding Zuko that the Avatar had not been seen in 100 years. He didn’t want Zuko to get his hopes up. Zuko, however, spends every minute for three years training to fight the avatar, and the second he sees something out of the ordinary, he automatically assumes that it is the the avatar’s doing. It’s kind of a miracle that he was right.

Capturing the Avatar = restoring honor. This is an example of both taking what his father told him as fact, and seeing things as black and white, which is also commonly associated with autism. Ozai told Zuko that capturing the avatar would restore his honor, so Zuko became obsessed with finding and capturing Aang. He truly believed that doing so was the only way to restore his honor and return home. It took Zuko years to realize that he could restore his honor in a different way than what his father told him. 

He automatically believes Azula when she says he can come home

“Father regrets?”

It had been three years since he’d seen Azula, and he immediately took what she said at face value. He is excited to be going home, and he is frustrated with Iroh for being skeptical. When Iroh points out that he has never known Ozai to regret anything, Zuko says “did you even listen to Azula?” 

Zuko takes what Azula says as fact, just like he has always done. This is why, as a child, he had to constantly tell himself, “Azula always lies,” because she probably had a habit of fooling Zuko. But now that it has been so long, without the constant reminder that Azula always lies, she takes advantage of the fact that Zuko trusts her so easily, and he falls for her lies once again.

He doesn’t catch on to Jin’s body language

In the episode ‘The Tales of Ba Sing Se,’ Zuko meets a girl named Jin. He immediately is threatened by her, because she keeps looking at him (eye contact is another thing that can be a challenge for autistic people). He assumes she knows they are fire nation. Despite the fact that he has seen her constantly smiling at him, he is completely surprised when he finds out she has a crush on him.

When Jin asks Zuko on a date, he shows up looking like this:

I think most people would catch on that this is Not A Good Look. But when Jin messes up his hair, Zuko gets frustrated. He says, “It took my uncle ten minutes to do my hair!” 

So, Iroh told him this was a good hairstyle, and Zuko trusts Iroh, so he took his word as truth, and went along with it. 

Later on in the date, Jin tries to kiss Zuko. Just before their lips touch, he holds a coupon in front of her face, exclaiming that he brought her a gift.

Zuko likes Jin. He risked a lot to light up the fountain for her. We know he wanted to kiss her, because when she kissed him later, he let her, and he even kissed her back for a moment before he bolted. But in this moment here, he missed the signs that said she was about to kiss him (the hand holding, Jin closing her eyes, leaning forward, etc), so he moved the conversation along in a way that he felt was natural, by giving her a gift. 

He doesn’t realize that Sokka and Suki want time alone

Zuko runs into Suki when he’s about to go into Sokka’s tent. She’s clearly embarrassed, but Zuko doesn’t catch on.

“Sorry, do you need to talk to Sokka, too?”

Suki says no, so Zuko enters Sokka’s tent, to find Sokka like this:

There are roses everywhere, candles are lit, Sokka’s hair is down, he’s posing. Sokka was waiting for Suki to arrive, not Zuko. 

But Zuko doesn’t catch on to that, either, so he sits right down and asks Sokka for advice, totally oblivious to what was supposed to be going down. 

He can’t explain what is ‘off’ about Azula

A lot of autistic people have trouble recognizing patterns. Zuko has known Azula his whole life. He knows what her hair usually looks like. He knows what her makeup usually looks like. She doesn’t usually have dark circles under her eyes. She usually has better posture. I could go on. 

Azula challenged Zuko to an Agni Kai looking like this:

“I can’t explain it, but there’s something off about her.”

This is something I struggle with, too. If my mom dyes her hair, I can tell something is different, but it may take me a few days to figure out exactly what has changed. I think this is what was going on with Zuko here. He knows something is up, but he can’t immediately recognize that Azula has cut her own hair poorly, or that her makeup is different because she did it herself, or that she has dark circles under her eyes, or weird posture, etc. 

Sensory issues 

Sensory issues are also associated with autism. This can manifest in sensory overload and strong reactions to physical contact, among other things.

One way I’ve learned to avoid or come down from sensory overload is to self-isolate and meditate, which is something Zuko does very often. This can also be a way to recharge spoons or mentally prepare for something that might be exhausting.  

This explains why Zuko would react so strongly when someone interrupts his alone time. He needs that time to prepare for every other moment in the day. When this time is interrupted, he lashes out, and has trouble containing his emotions.

Physical contact

Zuko doesn’t always seem to know how to react to physical contact and affection. He reacts negatively if he isn’t prepared, or if he isn’t comfortable with the person. Even if he genuinely likes the person who is touching him (Jin, Iroh, Toph, Katara, etc), he still doesn’t seem to know what to do. 

If Zuko is comfortable with the person who hugs him, he allows them to do so, but he still almost always looks flustered. He doesn’t always hug back, and when he does, it sometimes takes him a moment to process that he’s being hugged before he is able to return the gesture.

Difficulty Changing Plans

As I mentioned before, autistic people sometimes have a one-track mind. We may have difficulty changing plans, and may tend to see things as black and white, with no gray areas. All of these things describe Zuko to a T. 

Zuko tends to get frustrated over any change of plans, but there’s one example I’d like to focus on.

Let’s talk about that angst coma. You know, that time Zuko got physically ill after he did something that completely altered the course of his life? 

That’s the one. The thing is, change is hard. And it can be especially hard for autistic people. Zuko spent the last few years working towards one thing, and one thing only: capturing the avatar. Then, in one day, everything changed. He made a decision to free Appa, which was completely counter to what he has been working towards this entire time. 

I’ve had “angst comas” before, and I know other autistic people who have had similar experiences. Sometimes you really do just need a few days in bed to recuperate and adjust to big changes. 

some side notes that are worth mentioning:

Zuko takes Iroh’s metaphors literally

He repeats Iroh’s metaphors without understanding them, and they come across differently

It took him a minute to realize when Aang insulted him, because the insult was dressed up like a complement. “Hey, that was actually pretty smart of you.” Zuko’s first reaction is to smile proudly at the praise. 

That scene when Aang wants to sit by Katara (bc he likes her) and Zuko is all, “I don’t get it, what’s the big deal? Just sit next to me.”

He saved Iroh’s smelly sandal when he was separated from him

He has a special interest in dao swords

Inaccurate self image (in his imagination he pictured himself without his scar)

He replays memories in his head of times when he thinks he may have said the wrong thing

He has meltdowns when things don’t go as he plans. 

He sometimes messes up jokes when he’s trying to be funny

He paces back and forth a lot, perhaps as a way to stim

Facts:

Shawn hunter went through extreme neglect and abuse throughout his childhood/teenhood.

His Birth mother abandoned him when he was an infant.

 His father cheated repeatedly giving him multiple halves bothers who he has a varying degree of relationships with.

His mother comes and goes in and out of shawn’s life constantly. She is overall neglectful and emotionally vacant.

His father is an abusive alcoholic. He abandoned Shawn over and over after promising multiple times he would change, he would be, he would care. I definitely believe there was worse emotional abuse off screen than we saw and possible physical abuse. 

his parents are domestically abusive towards each other setting up a bad example of how families are supposed to interact, and how to have a proper romantic relationship.

His family didn’t have showers, food, heating, money for clothes or money for school.

He feels the need to help their friend when she was an abusive situation and his first thought wasn’t “police” it was how to muddle through, showing that he most definitely went through similar situations people who have been through abuse understand the dangers of getting authorities involved in abuse.

Analysis: 

Shawn uses sarcasm and puts up walls to keep people out of his emotional state. He can’t keep a romantic relationship and is only capable of keeping a platonic friendship with cory and over time Topanga. He loves fiercely and wants these things but he can never bring himself to put down his walls to get it.

The treatment by his family and his socioeconomic status cause feelings of worthlessness, being lost and never good enough for anything. He repeatedly does things in reaction to these feelings. Being baited to beat the bike, running away, never trying in school and is the roots of most of his fights with cory.

He has a warped sense of self not knowing who he is separate from what people say he is. 

He is extremely self-destructive. Cory even points out that he is going to do something to hurt himself when he gets the letter. Shawn has a tendency to run, or drink, or break things off when he is hurt. 

He hates himself more than he hates his abusive father which is common when people are constantly gaslighted into seeing things as their fault instead of abusers.

He tries to make peace with his father but I can tell by the fact he still didn’t see himself as good enough to be a part of the Matthews life shows he still had work to do at the end of BMW.

He shows a propensity to over attach to people Cory & Feeny) as the only stable things in his life. The one person he can truly ground himself in. Everyone else lets him down. (including Mr. Turner).

He puts a lot of stake in the thing he considers his one real atribute his looks. He sees himself in a negative light and holds on to the one thing he believes he does better than anyone else.

He is terrified of becoming his father.

These to me point to C-PTSD & Depression.

ADHD:

I believe there might be something like ADHD with him too. He has trouble focusing on anything and gives up trying in school as he can’t complete the work. We do know he can be good at school type things writing and running the “business” at feeny’s house. He just can’t focus in a school setting which is common with someone with ADHD

I argue with my partner sometimes about autistic headcanons. “You’re diagnosing people,” they say. (My partner is the most wonderful person in the world, but sometimes they get stuck on the medical model of disability. And they forget the distinction between real people and characters in fiction.)

‘Autism’ means a couple of different things at once. It can be a diagnosis, yes.*  But it’s also a neurodivergence. A different way of being human. Much like being queer is a minority way of being human. (I am also that, so I know.) And this particular way of being human is rarely well represented in fiction or the media. 

There are very few people like me on TV. There are a few characters who are clearly autistic-coded - mostly men characters. And they’re mostly based on stereotypes - since those are easier for writers who know nothing about what autism is actually like. See Sheldon’s particular form of social awkwardness and emotional distance and scientific savant-ness, on The Big Bang Theory. Or Dr House’s, um, social awkwardness and emotional distance and scientific savant-ness… It gets repetitive, and it unhelpfully reinforces those stereotypes.

But there are very few autistic-coded characters on TV who are autistic like me. Sensitive. With many feelings. Afraid of everyone and everything, because of a lifetime of being told they’re not right and don’t fit. Over-stimulated by an overwhelming world. Hyperfixating on things that matter a lot to them, even if no one else gets why. Determined to right the wrongs of the world. Alone, a lot of the time, because being around people can hurt - but also lonely. Afraid of pushing people away, but desperate for connection. Unable to understand basic social rules. So, so anxious.  

So when I see a Ray Palmer or a Sylvia Tilly, I love them so much. They mean the world to me. An autistic person can be a superhero? An autistic person can go into space? Autism isn’t wiped out in the future? That gives me so. much. hope. Do you know how little hope I have that people like me will exist in 50 years, never mind 200? Do you know how under-valued my life is, my ways of being human are, by the whole of society? If you do: can you imagine how much it might mean to us to see autistic people just being neurodivergent, up there on screen? When Tilly ignores social codes that are meaningless to her, when Ray cries easily and loves hard and fast, when they both have vivid imaginary worlds and hyperfixate on their goals and put other people first and get into trouble because of who they are, and still get to be superheroes or space heroes, I feel valued. And that’s a rare thing, in this world that has devalued me all of my life.

So when I get yelled at for calling these characters autistic, because ‘it’s not canon’, I curl up and want to cry. When actors tweet that they never intended these characters to be seen as autistic, and fandom uses that to ‘prove’ they’re not, it hurts. And when I see them being written wrong/badly in fanfic, or having their autistic traits erased there, or being abused for their autistic traits, it really hurts. When they’re meanly hurt in stories, or not allowed to be their autistic selves there, I feel like someone treated me that way. 

And mostly, this erasure and poor handling of these characters happens by/in fandom. While TV may not name these characters as autistic, it does, at least, let them be autistic.

Forget TV. All I want is more fanfic where these characters are overtly named as autistic. Where they’re allowed to be autistic. Where they’re shown to be good people despite – and because of – their autistic selves. Where the narrative deals with it when other characters make fun of them for autistic traits, and doesn’t let those other characters get away with it. 

If you’re so devalued and invisible that you don’t even see yourself represented in fanfic, you know things are bad.

Wake up, fandom. Disabled and neurodivergent characters exist. Stop erasing them and stop denying who they are. Society treats us as though we’re invisible, but you don’t have to join them in that.

*Note that I say autism *can* be a diagnosis. The medical profession has all the power over diagnosis - which means gatekeeping, and diagnostic testing refused or done badly… That’s why diagnosis isn’t necessary to join the autistic/neurodivergent community. There’s a whole other post there, for another time.