Mountain Witch

No wonder things have been so hard and stressful and I constantly feel like someone is going to take me out back and put me down. My nervous system is wrecked, but now Antonio makes more than that at his job alone. So really if I even manage to make any profit at all this year, even 100€, we‘re better off than we have been the past two years.

I know it’s still going to take another year or two until we’re out of the hole and recovered, but just being able to pay for things like heating oil and fixing our car without having to borrow money from someone or go without groceries is an absolute blessing.

They have a policy that states if you’re above a size 14/L they’ll add a $100 fee for „material costs“. This made me reconsider everything and also made me realize that literally every single model they’ve ever used in their pictures on social media is basically waif-thin. I’m realizing this is clearly their desired aesthetic and they’re hoping to deter bigger people.

Now I’m mad. The average dress size for a woman in the US is around 16-18. Most women in the US are size 14 or above.

In my region, people making 3000€ net a month are very lucky, most people earn less. Right now, our combined household income is even less than that.

I try to stay positive, but watching all our neoliberal politicians do everything to appease the rich while ignoring every issue the working class people face (which inevitably makes these people support the far right rather than the left that will actually help them thanks to years of global CIA funded propaganda that makes everyone scared of communism) is DEPRESSING.

Sometimes I wish I didn't know anything about political theory. Sometimes I wish I didn't know that we are all likely going to be living through continued worsening barbarism rather than a socialist working class revolution because people are so brainwashed by aforementioned propaganda. I'm watching it all happen around me in slow motion. All I can do is try to organize with the handful of actual leftists here and try to talk to liberals in hopes they'll realize that voting for the same neoliberal spineless losers forever is going to keep pushing us all farther and farther into this hell.

When uneducated people try to tell me I live in a socialist country, it's hard not to laugh. If I did, my husband's salary wouldn't be less than 1% of the CEO's salary. We wouldn't be giving half our income to a landlord every month. We'd have actual, functional and affordable (or free) public transit. Need I go on?

Europe is capitalist with absolutely zero plan to move toward socialism. The social democrats running most European countries are spineless capitulators to fascism. The one good thing we have is socialized medical care which genuinely needs to be considered the bare minimum of a functioning society, but they're already purposefully ruining it and manufacturing consent to get rid of it entirely. Things are bleak.

How it feels having so many ideas for crafts and DIYs and other ways to improve your house and make it Sp whimsical but you can’t really do any of them because you don’t own your house, you’re just renting

And when it comes to owning a house, the odds are quite stacked against you because the average cost of a house in your region is over half a million euros and the laws of your country say you need at least a 20% down payment so unless you suddenly have a way to have €120k+ at your disposal, it’s quite unlikely you’ll ever own a house which also means you’re probably never going to execute any of these ideas

CW: medical talk/weight/body image

Once in a while I’ll get pictures popping up on social media that remind me what I looked like in 2021/22 when I felt physically the best I have in my entire life and also looked the best 😭

As of today, my weight gain has spiraled out of control and I’ve lost about 70% of my hair. I feel so bad most of the time, I’m sick SO often, and I’ve lost so much of my physical fitness. Also my blood pressure got really high and hospitalized me in 2024, and now I’m on 2 different medications until anyone bothers to find the root cause of all of this. Every doctor I’ve tried to get to listen just tells me I’m obviously eating more than I think I am and if I just tried harder to lose weight all my problems would go away. They don’t listen that I quite literally felt a massive shift in my body and it just doesn’t respond to anything the way it did before.

You’re not allowed to use safety nets even though you pay into the system and you’re held to a way higher standard than anyone else. Yeah, even if you marry a citizen. This has been true in every country I’ve lived in.

I just had a reality check of how bad everything floating around in my brain is rn when going through my screen shots. It might just be that damn phone. I think I need a little breaky-break. My current life atm is already a big enough shit show without weighing myself down with the burdens of the entire rest of the world that I currently have zero capacity or power to do anything about.