nesmanantan

This April 2020 is indeed not meant for me. It seems like nothing really went my way ever since this month has started. There's the COVID-19, Enhanced Community Quarantine, postponed trips, and hurtful events at work (no revenue at all) that might lead me to being jobless anytime soon (though I'm praying and hoping this won't happen 'cause it would be so miserable not only for me, but for my mom as well). And now this painful heartbreak. It's really too much for me to handle that I don't even know what and where to start. I can't focus doing my job, no appetite, discomfort in sleeping - it's like I'm alive and still breathing but actually dead inside. I can barely do anything but to just lay down in my bed, thinking how I (we) ended up like this, reminiscing how our days back then and cry my heart out asking myself why can't we just stay like how we used to before.This is the most painful break up I've ever had 'cause I lost not only a boyfriend, but also a best friend (literally - 'cause we actually started as being bestfriends). I've already planned my whole life having him beside me; I even made a timeline of all our goals with him. I cannot comprehend life without him. This pain is killing me. It's like I've lost half of myself and it f*ckin' feels like hell. Am I that too unworthy for me to feel this way?

Feel the fear; and do it anyway. #eme https://www.instagram.com/p/B8sqBphgWi2Di9Mhp1WrhAvglEzA0jvotc2Syw0/?igshid=ubtobbdwrq9j

Be ready! Greater things are coming this 2020. Happy New Year, everyone! Let's all end 2019 and welcome 2020 with thanksgiving 👆🏼😊 https://www.instagram.com/p/B6vEykmgRI7ec8UyETHBNO5oRA6vu9WedW8tbM0/?igshid=g0wr0dvng01y

DJ Nessie in the house 🤘🏼🤣 (at Royal Caribbean Cruises Ltd Manila HQ) https://www.instagram.com/p/B6TA04AgDxCm7UkRJj4EHb4zbm-MV-Zel-WiNo0/?igshid=nnrrz7ktglhn

Just turned 25 today and I am more than blessed. Thank You, Lord for the wonderful gift of life - family, love, friends, and opportunities. I may not have been good at times, but You're still consistently good to me. I'm beyond grateful 👆🏼 Thanks to everyone who took a minute to send me greetings! 💕 https://www.instagram.com/p/B52yuqcgjvl8uu-IOHfTQg92U9_2TGf2A_AC_o0/?igshid=1myrae386mm0m

Napadaan lang sa batuhan. (c) (at Kapurpurawan, Burgos, Ilocos Norte) https://www.instagram.com/p/B10-jfDgCyY19wLOp1g4_hKMXkgJNkwHyjOoFg0/?igshid=82hnyzd25zpz

at Kao-Khad Viewa Point https://www.instagram.com/p/By5QKgxgLk2Fgn_Z_EIKfp1p6-oh19FBB8Rp4k0/?igshid=8f10b99p5arr

Little India. (at Singapore) https://www.instagram.com/p/ByC9cNSgsI8HWoKSx-4AChtuouOpMzclweD1l80/?igshid=7dkfx8km4cmi

at Sentosa Island, Singapore https://www.instagram.com/p/BxrraHbHRiC8B5uXObogUNKOEEHUbmxv7zGx3Q0/?igshid=1nokw77tmemra

A jealous beach? Lol 😅 (at Siloso Beach Resort Sentosa) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bxqj7sdHdg1M7I08CKIUe-B7NvzVwLKcnC1GvQ0/?igshid=mdiatf02o6wc

The iconic. (at Sentosa Island Universal Studios,Singapore) https://www.instagram.com/p/BxqjoPGnbiR4WaRKSphM5McGMmjGu3BfX9LHqw0/?igshid=1t1ve5zlbl45t

Best way to reach Sentosa Island in 🇸🇬 (at Singapore Cable Car) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bxqi98OH_qpDCAcI1plAoW2l39oRyG1BO9FO1k0/?igshid=1qdws6w8ay7ht

Summer in December (at Pagudpud, Ilocos Norte) https://www.instagram.com/p/Br68G-yjFyHhJraYjxWaG3sv-4Cw9U-l34nQbs0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=8do4xzw9gdpv

💕 https://www.instagram.com/p/Br6QrwCDifIqpfd-ZXxnpMd-Ry6hH6a07l5oHg0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1mkxvzhr9pz7e