Subterranean Canary

i’ve waited one year to reblog this

ITS TIME ITS TIME ITS T I M E

NO IT’S TOO EARLY STOP RIGHT THERE

IT’S TIME

IT IS TIME

I’m okay with Halloween starting now.

I LEGIT HAVE SEP  1ST LABELED AS PRE HALLOWEEN IN MY CALENDAR. IT IS FUCKING TIME, SON. 

i pressed play and my cat fell off the windowsill :(

IT. IS. NEVER. TOO. EARLY. FOR. HALLOWEEN.

my body is ready 

they just don't make characters like jon archivist sims. he spends an entire season having a forty episode long delusional breakdown and that's only maybe the third or fourth worst period of time in his life. he gets intervened on twice. he gets kidnapped thrice. during one of those kidnappings he spends a month tied to a chair getting forcibly moisturized by a plastic ringmistress mannequin and no one notices. he fully dies for six months but gets up again when a friendly grim reaper gives his unbreathing body a pep talk. he spends several episodes at the start of the final season so depressed that it's unclear if he even moves for multiple days in a row. the basis for his magic powers is that he is so traumatized that he begins to need continuous further trauma in order to live, which gives him the ability to explode people with his mind. he spends about fifty seconds at the top of an episode self-harming directly into a tape recorder, which is not even the most fucked up thing to happen to him that episode. he finally cried on audio for the first time in the penultimate ep and the only reaction I saw for several days after was wildly enthusiastic cheering. he's missing two ribs and he's at least 80% scar tissue by volume and the only canon information we have about his appearance is that he looks terrible at all times.

the worst part of being a non-american on the internet is statistically you're probably going to make a lot of friends who ARE american and then you start getting crazy thoughts like "i should take a vacation to buttfuck tennessee" or "i wish i could immigrate to new jersey"

I hate flop posts

Pay attention to my bullshit, I'm bored

flies overhead

What the fuck

I hate flop posts

Pay attention to my bullshit, I'm bored

flies overhead

What the fuck

Oh NOBODY'S going to be horny after this

my ankle is so fuckin horny tho

A victorian

Every reply this is is another punch in the gut

my new pitch for a dracula movie adaptation is that dracula returns to london and goes to highgate cemetery first thing to try and pick off tourists in an old creepy gothicy location but his vampiric proximity to so many graves starts causing some select bodies to partially reanimate and we get this shot focusing on the earth of a burial plot in the foreground as dracula recedes out of view to chase some victims in background and this old hand busts out of the ground and starts grappling around to pull itself out of the dirt and as the undead person drags themself out of the grave we zoom out to see the rest of the tomb and oh fuck it's karl marx back from the dead and he's totally gonna rock dracula's shit like just absolutely fuck him up because it turns out he was friends with van helsing back in the mid nineteenth century and knows all about vampires and he's not just gonna lie there while the count sucks the living labor out of innocent proletarians and it's gonna be called "marx vs dracula" and there'll be a line at some point that goes "to each according to his needs unless your 'needs' are human blood, sicko"

whatever, go my burger

@randomitemdrop

Spell: Summon Greater Burger

@wizard-council-bureaucrat Approved?

Trying to inflict psychic damage to a tumblr user is like trying to irradiate a cockroach, like it can be done, but the lethal dose is not safe for humans either

Besides the point, but you could always try physical damage?

You’re right Gomez, bring me the flail

The idea that John and Arthur are an exploration of how platonic love is just as powerful as romantic love and the thought that John and Arthur should fuck sloppy style are ideas that can and should coexist. Methinks